Sometimes I wonder About Me

You know, sometimes I ask myself some weird ass questions. The other day, Shael kept trying to take a picture of the baby I was holding while he was asleep and I told her not to. I don't like pictures of babies while they are sleeping because they always look dead in the pictures and it creeps me out. Hello....Haven't you ever seen The Others? But, that got me to thinking about dead bodies. I've heard that after the life leaves a body, the nerves will continue to jerk occasionally, like a chicken with it's head cut off. I have also heard that when a body dies, the bowels relax therefore the body soils itself as a last ritual. I've seen dogs do this and I'm assuming that people have done it, too. That's like flipping the world the bird. Yes, I've died, but I'm leaving one last shit for someone to clean up.
Now, here's my question. Is it possible for a body to belch or fart once it has died? What if a person had beans or cabbage as a last meal and had real bad gas when they were in that fatal car crash? What if a man had downed a big, semi-warm Dr. Pepper before killing over from a heart attack? Does that air some how find a way out or does it stay in the body? Does it absorb into the blood to be drained out of the body at the funeral home? What would happen if you slapped a recently dead woman on the back? Would she belch like an overgrown baby?
These are questions that plague me when my mind is left out alone, free to explore the strangest thought. It reminds me of that bumper sticker I once saw. I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.