Weezer ROX!

I aspire to be like my new friend and his bff, Rose. You guys are the best!

They say I need some Rogaine to put in my hair
Work it out at the gym to fit my underwear
Oakley makes the shades that transform a tool
You’d hate for the kids to think that you lost your cool
I’mma do the things that I wanna do
I ain’t got a thing to prove to you
I’ll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if I make a scene
I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you like
I’m finally dandy with the me inside
One look in the mirror and I’m tickled pink
I don’t give a hoot about what you think
Everyone likes to dance to a happy song (Hey, hey)
With a catchy chorus and beat so they can sing along (Hey, hey)
Timbaland knows the way to reach the top of the charts
Maybe if I work with him I can perfect the art
I’mma do the things that I wanna do
I ain’t got a thing to prove to you
I’ll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if I make a scene
I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you like
I’m finally dandy with the me inside
One look in the mirror and I’m tickled pink
I don’t give a hoot about what you think
No I don’t care,I don’t care
I’mma do the things that I wanna do
I ain’t got a thing to prove to you
I’ll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if I make a scene
I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you like
I’m finally dandy with the me inside
One look in the mirror and I’m tickled pink
I don’t give a hoot about what you think

It's Almost Summer

I hope that this summer totally rocks! I don't even have plans for anything, but I hope that it unfolds into great, great fun.
Laters!

Mullit teacher Spazzing out on sierra

OMG This was Shael's English teacher this year. No wonder she griped about her ALL year long! My poor baby girl.

Hey

Mike is dating. And I didn't have a nervous breakdown. I think I'm going to make it. Thank you, Funny Guy. I love what you do to me.

Sorry Gota See That Again

Look at these, people!

Big Me and Little Me

This is my drivers license. Issued 10-13-2006. My very biggest, I weighed a little over 200 lbs.

This is my NEO Student ID. Issued 1-24-2007. I'd lost a little bit of weight, not much, but probably about 10 lbs or so. Maybe more, I can't remember. I'm sure I weighed a little under 200 lbs here.

Then of course, there's this. My U of A student ID issued 4-24-2008. I've lost about 60 lbs here and weigh around 145 lbs.

It's Me! I did it!

How cool is that? I did get enrolled. I will be started classes at University of Arkansas this August. My classes are all on Tuesdays and Thursdays this fall so I only have to drive down two days a week. Next Spring, I may move there temporarily. We'll see what happens. I'm not leaving that option out but I'm not counting on it either.

Next I'm going to put my three photos on here that I've been showing people lately. It's like an ad for Jenny Craig or something. I don't believe I look like the same person I use to be. I know I don't feel like the same person I use to be. Some days I feel great and free. Others I feel like crap and all chained up inside. Like that Eagles song says "we can live our lives in chains never knowing we hold the key".

Just What I Needed

i don't mind you coming here
and wasting all my time
'cause when you're standing oh so near
i kinda lose my mind
it's not the perfume that you wear
it's not the ribbons in your hair
i don't mind you coming here
and wasting all my time
i don't mind you hanging out
and talking in your sleep
it doesn't matter where you've been
as long as it was deep
you always knew to wear it well
you look so fancy i can tell
i don't mind you hanging out
and talking in your sleep
i guess you're just what i needed
i needed someone to feed
i guess you're just what i needed
i needed someone to bleed

Oh I had a lot to say
was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
Cause everything inside
it never comes out right
And when I see you cry
it makes me want to die

I'm sorry I'm bad,
I'm sorry I'm blue,
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back

I love how you kiss,
I love all you're sounds,
and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry

This time I think I'm to blame
it's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame

Every single day
I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
it's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry!

Let's Start A Riot

If you feel so empty,
So used up, so let down.
If you feel so angry,
So ripped off, so stepped on.
You're not the only one,
Refusing, to back down.
You're not the only one,
So get up!

Let's start a riot, a riot.
Let's start a riot.
Let's start a riot, a riot.
Let's start a riot.

If you feel so filthy,
So dirty, so fucked up.
If you feel so walked on,
So painful, so pissed off.
You're not the only one,
Refusing, to go down.
You're not the, only one,
So get up!
Let's start a riot, a riot.
Let's start a riot.
Let's start a riot, a riot.
Let's start a riot...

Linkin Park please exuse the language

Given Up

aking to sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up...
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the fuck is
Wrong with me!
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but
I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventalate.
Looking for hope somehow somewhere
And noone cares
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up...
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the fuck is
Wrong with me!
GOD!
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my...
Put me out of my fucking misery!
I've given up...
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the fuck is
Wrong with me!

Hate Me Today

This is what Mike keeps saying to me with his actions.
Hate Me Today
Blue October
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you.
Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months
it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart
is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you
for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself,
you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away
that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

Howdy

I've got three songs I want to post on here. I know, I know. I go weeks without posting and then all I do is post song lyrics. But, right now, song lyrics say it best for me. Just know I'm still alive and still kicking.
I did graduate from NEO. I do have green hair. And I am going out on dates with other men.
Life can be good.