What NOW?

What now. The phrase that goes through my head so many times because I'm the mother of a 15 year old girl. But, honestly, lately, the phrase has been caused by her 36 year old father and his 48 year old girlfriend. At what age does "girl"friend no longer apply? Lady friend? She's not much of a lady in my opinion. His "woman"? Maybe. My friend asked me if he picked her up at the ho-depot. Ha! Maybe! Maybe it was the old ho-depot.

I just make fun because I'm hurt and angry. 48 is by no means old, but it kind of creeps me out to think that he's moving this gal in to MY home that's a mere 6 years younger than his mother. Talk about some serious Mommy issues. Yeesh.

Mike is being a complete idiot. A butthead. A moron. A dumbass. A selfish fool. He has his head so far up this woman's do-dabber (thank you, Ron, for the great new name for it!) that he's blind to the fact that he's losing his daughter. I have full confidence that he will someday see this. I started to say I have full confidence in Mike, but I don't. Not at all. I have full confidence in God. I'm leaving it up to Him. He can take care of my daughter better than I can, better than Mike can, better than Mike and I as a team could. I will do what I can, by showing her I love her, I'm there for her, and that no one on this earth comes before her.

Now, I only hope she never reads this. Even though she knows all of this already, I'm not suppose to talk negatively about her dad in front of her. It's nice to vent my frustration with Mike to someone.

Shael packed up the rest of her clothes, her pillow, her stereo, and her Roosevelt. She's now officially living with me. It's pending. I don't know when she will go back to her dad's. She says she only misses her dogs, but I know better. She loves her Daddy and misses him but he has hurt her something fierce. So has his entire family. Saturday was the first time they ever felt like ex in-laws to me. Talk about heart wrenching. They felt like ex family to Shael and she is their blood. They chose the girlfriend over Shael. All of them. Grandma, Grandpa (actually he kind of stayed out of it) Aunt, Uncle, cousins. I actually had to drive over there and pick her up, they literally kicked her out.

Shael was so devestated, as 15 year old girl would be. As any age girl would be. I was devastated. It made me want to keep my daughter from them forever. "How do you like your lies now, assholes!?" But, I won't. I can't act on my feelings. If I did, I would have yanked Mike's stupid goatee out of his stupid melon head and said "SNAP OUT OF IT PRICK!" and gone in and laid IN on his woman. Cat fight from hell. I think I could take her.

But, of course, none of this happened. Instead, I took my devastated girl home with me and we cried together. I told her how much I loved her and that she could tell me anything anytime. What else could I say? Those people, and I use the term loosely at this point, are still her family. They aren't mine anymore. Even though up until this point they still felt like it. I loved them the same as always. But, something has changed. Now I don't think it will ever be the same between us.

I want to have a talk between Mike, Shael and me. Then I want to have a talk between the three of us and the three of them, the main three that were involved in this fiasco. But, I don't want to do it anytime soon. Tensions are still way high, and so are hostilities. I have caught two in lies and they are scrambling to cover up. Mike is in the dark about this and when he finds out, I think he might understand a little bit more.

I know I'm being very vague about all this, but, let me tell you this much. They were given the choice, Shael staying, or Mike coming over(when he hadn't even been there to begin with) with his girlfriend. It was a family vacation. Shael was asked to leave. She was TOLD to leave!

Here's my point of view on this. If I were in this woman's position, I had this boyfriend who had a 15 year old daughter that clearly had a problem with me, who made no bones about it, says flat out "I don't like her, please don't bring her around when I'm around" I would gracefully bow out. If it were a family get together, I would say "Your time with your daughter is far more important than our time together." And I would say this! And mean it, too. There would be plenty of alone time for my boyfriend and I to spend together without having to mess up what little time he had with his daughter and the rest of the family. To me, that's intruding.
Now, say, it's been a couple years down the line from the divorce, me and this guy had been seeing each other for a long time and we were planning to get married, this would be different. It would be extremely touchy, but different. I would be becoming part of the family.

But, I feel Mike is being so inconsiderate of his daughter. Downright disrespectful, actually. She took my advice and didn't raise her voice, spoke what she felt and left the room. They all took that as hostile and Mike is punishing her by taking her phone away. I felt so bad because she was only doing what I told her to do. I thought this might avoid another big fight, but it only created a different kind. But, Mike's brand of punishment is going to bite him in the butt in the end. Now he has no way of getting a hold of her. I don't plan on answering any of his calls or texts for a while. He will have to make direct contact with her by coming over to my house if he wants to see her or talk to her. We'll see how long it takes.

The sad part is, Mike doesn't even get it. He doesn't understand. I think he might, actually, but he doesn't want to. He's seeing her stepping away from him, and wont see that he's the one pushing her. When Shael was getting her stuff he came out and was asking me "What's the deal? What's up with Shael? What's wrong? Why is she acting this way?" The only answer I could give him was "She got hurt really really bad Mike". He didn't deny it or even ask why. So, I know he knows.

Please don't get me wrong, I am not saying Mike shouldn't have a girlfriend. Though it rips my heart out through my unopened chest. He can do whatever now, we are divorced. But, don't bring her around Shael if that's what she has requested. For heaven's sake, it was only 4 months after the separation, we weren't even divorced yet, when he started bringing this woman around.

Ouch.