Time To Make The Donuts

I'm in a little better spirits this morning. My mother called me first thing yesterday and just set the tone for my whole day. All day yesterday I kept thinking "I want to go to..." and I'd think of different destinations. And let me tell you, I really did want to go. Right then. I could imagine myself going home and packing, then taking off without a moments hesitation or any real planning. But, duty won out. I didn't head off to South Padre Island, the Florida Keys, or even to Silver Dollar City. I worked till 5:00, then went to Mother's and worked for her until 10:40. I crawled in bed a little after 11:00 dog tired. Standing and working on that concrete floor was enough to make my legs ache.

But her asking me to help her was not the entire reason why I was so unhappy. She started in on me about Shael's grades and her grade card. Because Shael hadn't shown me her report card she proceeded to tell me how horrible it must be for Shael to hide it from me. "You've got to do something Stacie! I wish you'd get a hold of that tutor before it's too late!" Then she, the cherry on top was when she told me that Shania got all straight A's and Sarah had only one B and the rest were A's. I quickly hung up before I could lose my temper at her. How dare she compare my child to my brother's. How dare she assume that we aren't doing anything to help her. How dare she! I was livid. And of course, as always, when I'm mad, all I do is bawl my eyes out. I walked into the living room, threw myself down on the love seat and burying my head in the big lighthouse pillow (given to me by HER, which made it ironic to me at the time) and cried and cried. When I finally got up I got in the shower and cried and cried in there, too. Until the hot water was almost gone. I finally got a hold of myself and went to work. I don't know why I let her get to me.

The up side to this story is, when I finally got Shael's report card last night, it really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Only two F's. And those F's were very close to D's. As shocking as that may sound to some, it's a vast improvement to what they were a few weeks ago. My mother and yes, even my dad, say an F is an F. Well, yes, technically, that's true. But, I'm looking at percentage here and I see improvement. If she can improve that much in just a few weeks, then I see hope. Light at the end of the tunnel. They just see F. Her English grade has come up from an F to a D. It saddens me to know that I'm glad to see D's on her report cards. Passing. Barely, but passing. I've told her that she has two weeks to bring all her grades up or I'm going to enroll her in summer school, which means no church camp. I really hate to take that away from her, but I have to draw the line.

So, that's my day in a nutshell. Tonight is the ladies retreat at the church. I'm working late for Val so she can make it to her kids' first soccer game (their teams are playing each other...lol) so I won't be getting off work until 6:00 or after. Church starts at 7:00. I'm going to have to hustle to get their on time. I'm sure I won't make it exactly on time, but hopefully I won't be too late. Unless I went in my scrubs. Not too crazy about that idea.

I'd better go so I can get ready for work. Maybe I'll have a better day today. Oh, at least mother bought our supper last night. She doesn't even know that she hacked me off. Typical.