Another Stolen Idea

After reading Hillbilly Mom, Just Linda and Diva talk about their friends, I thought I'd do my own tribute. Here's to my friends.

My BF (no not bitch fit, though I'm sure she had one when she read that one post here while back..heh heh) who shall remain anonymous, except for the mysterious letter "N". Those of you who know me, it's so dang simple, you all know who I'm talking about. But, there's a lot of people who don't know me running around out there, and she doesn't want me using her name, so it will remain "N".

Waaaaay back in the first grade, now that's 26 years ago, I was alone and friendless on the play ground. This cute little blond girl comes up to me and asks me if I wanted to play. That's all it took, for years after that we were inseparable. From walking around the play ground with our arms hooked over each others shoulders chanting "buddy, buddy, buddy" to holding hands in my upstairs bedroom singing "Cherish The Love" by Kool & The Gang. We've done all the silly things girls do. She was the first person who ever called me on the telephone. Back when it was a huge deal to get a phone call. I'd pull that huge black rotary phone that the phone company gave us into the coat closet so I could have some privacy. What did we talk about, I wonder, that required such secrecy? I was at her house so often, her brother was sick of me, I'm sure. Then in 7th grade the unimaginable happened. Her family moved to Alabama. Not to Grove, or to Miami, or even to Joplin or Tulsa, but to ALABAMA! And Mobile, the bottom of Alabama, none the less. She stayed with us and her Grandma to finish out the semester, then we packed her things and took her to the airport. She seemed too young to fly by herself, but she was brave and excited and missing her parents something fierce. My best friend left. What was a girl to do? I cried a lot. My grades slipped. I stayed in cheerleading, but it wasn't the same without her there being my partner. Band trips weren't the same without her there sharing the seat with me. Yes, I had other friends, but it just wasn't the same. One friend had a mean dad, another had mean step mom. No one thought like me, or laughed at the same stupid things as me. They weren't her. I knew where the saying "You look like you lost your best friend" came from.

But, believe it or not, we have remained best friends. It has been 20 years since she moved away and we have always kept in touch. Listen to this list of places she's lived. Starting in Alabama, then her and her family moved on to Maine (where they stayed put). She on the other hand, did not stay put. She moved back to Oklahoma a couple times but never for very long. She moved to Russia for a spell, where she met her wonderful husband, she lived in Colorado for a while (and I so kick myself for not just dropping it all and coming out to see you), she lived in Germany for a while. But now she lives in Maine, near her parents and brother. Through all that, I sometimes feel I get to see the world through her eyes.

She was the first person I called when I found out I was pregnant. She was the first person I called when I lost that baby. She was the first person I called, bawling my eyes out when I found out I was pregnant again just 4 weeks after the miscarriage. And she was the first person I called when I went into labor 9 months later. She was in Russia at the time and the phone connections were terrible. I remember hearing my own voice speak back to me before she could even hear me. Her parents called me the day after I had Shael and told me congratulations over the phone. I hadn't had any visitors the whole day, Mike went back to work and I was sitting in the hospital room alone and getting sadder by the moment until they called and perked me right up.

Now, hundreds of miles apart, each with our own little girls, husbands, and lives, we don't get to see much of each other. We have even grown to opposite ends of the political spectrum. But it makes no difference to me. I still love her like she was that little blond girl I use to pal around with chanting "buddy, buddy, buddy".

Then there's the Diva. A woman who knows all of my secrets. Mainly because she was there committing the crimes with me. My first memory of her is somewhere around the 2nd grade. Even though we went to the same school, and it was a small school, we weren't in the same class (Ha! That sounds so funny, but you know what I mean!). My BF and her somehow became friends and Diva got us all together to sing this little song in front of Ms. Brewster's class. The words were "Peanut, peanut butter. And jelly" and I swear that's the only words I ever knew. I just got up there and froze while Diva and my BF and a couple other kids actually sang the song. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I was incredibly shy. So for me to get in front of an entire class, I'm sure I must've been about to pee my pants. After that really embarrassing memory, we became fast friends. Third grade came and we both got Mrs. Elliot. She had the desks sitting three in a row and I had my BF on one side of me and Diva on the other. What else could a girl want? I remember I dropped something one time and got down on the floor to pick it up and I saw a staple stuck in the carpet. That can't be good, I thought, so I tried to pick it up. Somehow I got it stuck in my finger and in the carpet at the same time. Oh, trauma! Diva looks down and sees me crying and asks me what's wrong and I tell her. She actually got down under my desk with me and freed my finger from the clutches of that nasty staple. Man, what a great friend.

Diva was always reading these thick books, like Little House In The Big Woods and Charlotte's Web while I was going through my "I don't like to read" phase. She also had this extensive vocabulary for a third grader. One day (and I know she knows what story is coming LOL) she bent over for something and burped up part of her lunch. She spit it out on the floor real fast and raised her hand all prim and proper. "Yes?" asked Mrs. Elliot. "Mrs. Elliot? I vomited" . Vomited? What's that? I went home and asked my mom what vomit was. She looked at me funny and said "Throw up". Aha! It was like a light bulb went on over my head. Well, why didn't she just say "Mrs. Elliot, I puked" I wondered to myself. Me, with my vocab of puke, fart and crap. Her with her vocab of vomit, flatulence, and poo-poo.

In the 7th grade when our "fab five" turned into "fab four" then gradually divided off into even smaller numbers, Diva and I stayed friends. She was a band geek with me. And still the walking dictionary. She was always the one to carry the calculator in her purse so we could divide up the bill at Pizza Hut equally. I loved to tease her more than any of my other friends because she was so good natured about it. My other friends would always get all huffy and mad at me, but Diva would just laugh and say "good one, Stace!" We discovered we had a whole lot in common, mainly our quirky sense of humor.

Then the inevitable happened. Boys. What will test and try a girl's friendship with her girlfriends more than a boyfriend? Nothing. I got my Jerry and she got her Brad. Though we still were friends, we didn't spend as much time together. My preoccupation with Jerry was a killer on all my friendships. So, when Jerry was a thing of the past, all my friends had moved on to other relationships. Yes, we still talked and were friendly, we just didn't hang out much. My senior year of high school was the PITS! If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't. It was that bad.

Move on to the brief year of college. Diva and I had a couple classes together and it fired up our friendship again. We hung out, not much, but what time we could. It was during that year that Mike came into the picture. The only other girlfriend Mike ever had was Diva. Thanks for breaking him in for me, Diva! lol. Diva was having a rough year, with her parents divorce and the heartbreak her ex was putting her through. I tried to be there for her, but between working part time and going to school full time and having a full time fiance, I'm sure I wasn't much help. Sorry, Diva. I'm scum.

As it turned out, her and I ended up getting married the same year. Her to this old man (OH! I'm SO kidding! lol) that I use to know by the name of Bugger, and me to my Mikey. She was there for me when I lost the baby, and she was there for me when I had Shael. Her and our friend, Chloe, came over to my house to see the new bundle of joy. Her heart must've ached at the sight since she was trying to have a baby but without success.

Then one day as Mike and I were dropping Mike's dad off at one of his friends, I walked two doors down to drop in on my Diva friend. Outside on her porch, I saw this black and white computer box. When I rang her doorbell, I felt a little weird, just dropping in unannounced like that, but when she saw me, her eyes got great big and her arms flew around me. "STACIE!!!" It had been a good two years since I'd seen her. She had just gotten her computer that day and her sister and brother in law were there and the men were hooking it up for her. By then, she had two precious babies and her sister was pregnant with her second one. I left about 30 minutes later, with a lighter heart and a promise to keep in touch. A couple months later, I became Internet-ified. I called her up,( and I'll never forget that phone number you goob) and visited a few minutes before I mentioned the fact that I now had Internet access and wanted her email address. Heaven only know that it was the beginning of a love affair. Email love affair. We loved sending each other email, I'm telling you! Those first few years, I must've filled out 250 surveys and passed them on to her, fwd thousands of funny pictures and countless little funnies.

We started having girls nights out with the old gang. Having loads of fun. Then life butted in again, and we slowed down with the emails. She had a third precious baby to add to her collection. Mike and I moved and I eventually went back to work. My going back to work was the obstacle that kept us from having more lunches together like we use to and finding a free evening to go out with the girls. But, we'll always have email. And now blogs.

I feel like I'm right there in her life, even though we don't talk often, or even email very often. I keep up with her on her blog. And she keeps up with me on mine. Strange how life plays out. Let's have lunch, Diva.

This post has played out a little longer than I expected. I'll have to say ...to be continued.

Next post: Christy, Chloe, DeLisa, and my new friends that I love just as much as my "old" friends, Valerie and Kami.