Christmas is OVER

I'm so glad. I never did get in the groove of things. I did a lot of crying, to Mike's dismay. Small things set me off. I won't even go into the one thing that still makes me mad to think of.
Instead, I'll go into the "ashtray" saga.

In case you don't know the history, I'll give you a brief run down. A hundred years ago (13-1/2) when Mike and I got married, a friend of my Dad's gave us a wedding present but it didn't get to us until after the wedding. My sister happened to be there when it got opened. It was this hideous ashtray. We didn't smoke, and it was butt ugly. My sister piped up with "Hey, I think it's kind of cool looking". Big mistake. Big. For her birthday in October, I wrapped it up and gave it to her. She laughed, I laughed and forgot about it. For Christmas, she wrapped it up and gave it right back to me. We all laughed then, and a legend began. Each year the ashtray gets sent back and forth between us. One year she had me on a scavenger hunt to find it. Another year I cleverly disguised it as a book. Well, this year, it was my turn and it is always better to give than to receive. Mike had made the suggestion of "renting" a male stripper and pasting that steer head from the ashtray on to his general crotch area over his final g-string so when he whipped his pants off, there it would be. Well, for one thing, I didn't happen to know any male strippers right off hand, and another, I didn't want to offend any clients at the salon where she works. I know that the ladies she works with wouldn't be offended and would laugh their butts off, but who knows who'd be in the salon at the "moment". So, in lieu of a live male stripper, I got a exercise for Men Only magazine and found the perfect specimen. I cut him out, pasted him onto a piece of white card stock and hot glued the steer head in the general crotch area. Then I hung a piece of craft wire from the top and wrote on the back "Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy your ornament!" Good, funny stuff when she opened that up. I've got pictures.

But wait, not to sound like a bad infomercial, it didn't end there. The next day, out at my Grandma's house, she had wrapped it up and gave it right back to me. In the form of a ring! She'd taken the steer head off the hot bodied dude and hot glued it onto an old ring. A wide man's ring. It was lovely. I don't have my camera, I accidentally left it at my Grandma's, but I already got the pictures of my sister opening up her ornament on my computer. I don't have the pictures of the "ring". I'm not even sure if I took any pictures of it that way, anyway. But, my sister did, for sure. I made sure it was in her truck when they left, I wasn't by any means taking it home with me for the next year.

One More Week

And the count down begins. The count down is different for each of us. For Shael, it's three more days of school then CHRISTMAS BREAK NO SCHOOL Yaaaahhhh! For Mike it's 4-1/2 work day week then Christmas Party at work. For me, it's one week from today that all shopping, wrapping and cooking/baking has to be done. T minus 7 days.
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Last night the whole Wilkinson clan piled into our Suburban and off we went to Joplin, Webb City, then finally Carthage. I needed to grab some things for my Sunday School class at Michael's so we went to Joplin first for that. I was in such a hurry, and the place was packed, I grabbed something that looked perfect, plus it was on the $1 rack. Perfectamundo, Fonzie. I get to church with them this morning, boy, should I have taken the time to look closely before I bought them. I teach 2 & 3 year olds. These say "for children 7 and up." Great. So, I thought I'd make them for them. Well, that didn't work, either, because I needed to make four of them in about 15 minutes, and when I got one out to start on it, it would take about 30 minutes just to make one. Oops. So, they just took them home to let their Mama's help them.

Anyway, before I followed that rabbit trail...After Michael's (which everybody but Mike and his Dad got out at) we went to Webb City and ate at Mike's Mom's favorite Mexican joint in the 4-state area. Mucho Mexico. I love their tacos and their tamales the most. There were 7 of us, and this place really is a little bitty ole dump. But, great food. We all crammed in there with what seemed like 100 other people squeezed into this place and ate until we could eat no more. Then it was off to Carthage to go gaze at the Christmas lights at the Vietnamese Catholic school/church. Mike's Dad bah-humbugged when he found out about it. It seems nobody told him (accidentally on purpose) and when he found out he was all bitchy about it, saying if he'd had known he wouldn't have come. Yeah. I'm thinking maybe that's why no one told him.

From there, we stopped at Wal-Mart where everybody but Mike and his Dad piled out once again. I went in to buy Mikey some cough drops because he'd left his on the bar at home. Mike's Mom and brother went in to buy her a phone. Mike told me on the way home after we'd dropped all the family off, that when we all went in to Wal-Mart his Dad started bitching real hard about it. Mike didn't let him get away with it and nipped it in the bud with a stern "Shut yer pie hole".

On the way home, we took Spook Light Road. Ooooooooo. Just the mere mention of the name: Spook Light Road, and Shael went from totally obnoxious kid, to quiet as a church mouse kid. She had a death grip on my arm and her eyes were wide as saucers. We stopped once to let Chevy pee and Shael nearly pulled my arm out of socket when I was getting out to let Chevy out of the back. Of course, we didn't see any spook light. But, by the time we got off the road Shael was in tears and we were all laughing. Poor baby. Aren't we mean? I finally had to tell Shael that it was the same exact road that we took on Thanksgiving Day to go between Great Gran's house and Uncle Chevy's. That didn't help her out much. But, it made for a good laugh for the rest of us.

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Today was/is the Christmas play at our church. They took over the morning and the evening meetings. This is the first year that Shael didn't have any part in it. Not that she's too big, she just didn't want to do anything. This is the first year I didn't make her and she was happy to abstain. The kids were so cute this morning. Too cute for words. Tonight, some of the older ones will do their thing and I'm sure they'll be good, also. My Mom went to my sister's church this morning to watch her kid's do their thing, sending her camera with me to tape my brother's kids do their thing. My brother taped the whole thing with his camera so I didn't mess with my Mom's. For one, she didn't send the SD card. Two, the internal memory was full. Three, I didn't know how to work it. I was happy to let my brother do all the work. His kids anyway, right? LOL. I'm too lazy for my own good.

At the end, they play that song "Come on ring those bells" and all the kids in the whole church, if they played a part or not, get a bell and ring it through the whole song. "Jesus we remember it's your biiiiiiirrrrrrrthdaaaaaaay". Well, we talked Shael into taking Nikolas up front to hold him while he rang a bell. One of the ladies sitting on the front row came up and told me that Shael, well, let's just say she had one of those moments that every woman fears will happen and most have happen at least once in their lives. I checked the seat next to me that she'd been sitting in for any signs of her problem and didn't see any, so I knew it couldn't be too awful bad. But as soon as she got off the stage with about 50 little kids surrounding her, I didn't even let her come back to sit down, I made her turn around and told her to get out the back door as quick as she could. My Aunt and her husband stopped her on the back row and kept visiting with her and I was casually trying to shove Shael out while staying behind her so they wouldn't see what I was hiding. We finally got away and we were the first ones out the door. We went to Wal-Mart and I got her some longer defense against embarrassing incidents like that. When we got out the door of the church I told her what the deal was and she didn't seem to understand what I was talking about. When we got inside the car, I explained it to her in great detail and her face got dead serious and completely pink. And it stayed that way for quite a while. I let her go back to the car after a visit to the bathroom in the store and I bought the stuff I needed for tonight's little shin dig at the church after the program.

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I think I'll go take a nap. It's only 3:13, I have time. If, that is, Shael will leave me alone long enough. I should hang a Do Not Disturb Violators Will Receive Broken Bones sign on my bedroom door.

Happy Napping!

One Sick Puppy

I've got a sick man in the house. We were suppose to go out on the bike when he got off work today. Shael went home with Mike's Mom after school and we were free to stay out on the bike as long as our frozen cheeks could handle it. But, instead, Mike came home sicker than a dog. He had a huge bag from Walgreen's full of stuff. NyQuil Cough and DayQuil, Sudafed, Halls, Zycam, Kleenex. I met him at his truck when he got home and when the door to his truck opened, it felt like a heat wave. You know the feeling you get of hot air blasting you in your face when you leave your windows rolled up during a triple digit day and you open your car door? That's what it felt like, only Mike was sitting in it. And not even breaking a sweat. He sweats in his sleep in the middle of winter when I'm freezing. I sent him to bed right away, after he changed into a pair of flannel p.j. pants. I gave him some Tylenol to break the fever and to help with the pain in his throat.

Since I hadn't eaten lunch, I was hungry and since I knew Mike wasn't going to be getting out of bed any time soon, I went ahead and cooked supper and ate it by 4:30. I ate my fill then put everything away. Around 6:30 Mike comes staggering into the living room, sweating and hungry. By then, I was eating a bowl of ice cream and watching TV in the living room. He decided to eat in the living room and watch a little TV with me. His eyes were bigger than his belly and when he got up to put his plate away, he started choking on the phlegm coming up from his lungs. He started making these horrible choking and gagging noises and I thought he was going to throw up on the living room floor. I'm so sympathetic, I said "If you're going to puke, at least make it to the trash can or something!" He just stood there gagging, face aimed at the carpet. He finally got it up and he spit it out in the trash can then took this huge breath. Then a couple more big breaths. I know the feeling of not being able to breath. I told him to use my inhaler but he only shook his head no. A few more scary moments like that where he can't breath for choking on his own phlegm filled lungs and he might change his mind about it. The shakes that the inhaler causes doesn't last forever, and it does help break that stuff up where you can cough it up easier and breath easier.

When he spit that out, it sounded like he was yaking into the trash can and I started gagging. I thought I was going to hurl into my own ice cream bowl. I jumped up to the kitchen and the feeling kind of went away. I dumped my uneaten ice cream into the sink. That was enough for me. Gross. He went back to bed and I heard him doing the same thing two more times a little later. Each time I turned the TV up louder in the living room so I wouldn't have to hear it and start gagging all over again. I have been going to the bedroom and checking on him every so often to make sure he's still breathing and he is.

Then I got engrossed in Little Women and heard him snoring. I thought he might be down for the night. I hope he is, anyway. As I sat on the love seat bawling my eyes out over Little Women, I would hear him snore every now and then, or blow his nose or make some kind of noise. But thank goodness, no more of that nasty hacking, gagging noises. Hopefully, he's not saving that for me when I go to bed. If Shael's bedroom wasn't so dirty, I'd sleep in her room tonight.

It's almost midnight, I'm getting tired. I should get to bed and face the other direction. Tomorrow I'm going to go buy some oranges and tank up on them myself while I'm forcing them down Mikey. I might try to find some coriander seed and make some tea to force down him, also. He hates it when I start brewing up some home remedy, but, most of the time, they work. I remind myself of my Grandma Stovall when he asks me what's in it. "Don't ask, you wouldn't drink it if you knew"

Winning Streak

I see my usual non winning strike is back in action. Yesterday was my mil's birthday so Michael and I took her on the casino run. His Dad didn't go, much to his Mom's disappointment, but to our happiness. He would have only ruined anybody's chances of having a good time. So, just the three of us went out. We hit eight casinos and she went home with nearly $200. Mike bought us supper at the Coleman Restaurant in Buffalo Run. The food was good, the dessert better. Mike won $279 at Buffalo Run and $10 at Lucky Turtle. He lost $40 at High Winds and about $5 at Miami Casino and about the same at Peoria gaming center. I, on the other hand, lost $60 through eight casinos. YIKES! Not good. The only money I came home with was the quarter I found on the floor at Border Town.
Thinking of Border Town, as we were walking out, we were waylaid by these folks who use to go to church with Diane, my mil. Stinky, gross, freeloaders, who said "Hey, which direction are y'all going? You know where Adams street is? That's where we live now and we really don't want to walk home now we've been here since 3:00 this afternoon we were going to stay for the drawing but I don't even have my ID on me so even if I were to win it wouldn't do me any good because I couldn't claim it aren't you guys going to stay for the drawing how come you aren't staying oh, it's your birthday well, happy birthday have you made all the rounds which ones have you gone to there's a bunch, you know, there's this one and the Travel Plaza and High Winds and Grand Lake and Turtle Stop and Buffalo Run and some more but I can't think of them right now..." By this time they had followed us out to the Suburban and climbed in! They didn't even ask or wait for us to say "Hey, no problem, hop in" Mike was looking at me and his Mom and I could read his face. "Who the hell is this?" We took them the 9 or 10 blocks to their house and dropped them off, the WHOLE time she talked and he talked over her and I had to keep my nose practically pressed to the window so as not to face them and smell their rank body odor. I was on the side that the window didn't roll down, too, or I might have rolled it down for some fresh air. It was awful. When we got to their house, they opened the door to the Suburban but didn't make any moves to get out. They sat there and continued to talk for a few more minutes. They even called Mike by his brother's name, Chevy and Diane corrected them with "No, this is my older son, Michael." They know me, and they know Shael, and they know that I'm married to Diane's older son, why the heck would they call him Chevy? They are stupid people, that's why. Stupid stinky people. When the got out and shut the door we practically peeled off to get out of there before they had a mind to open that back door back up and say "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you something..." Mike immediately piped up and said "WHO THE HELL WAS THAT?" LOL. Poor Mikey. His Mom started apologizing profusely and for the next ten minutes, or until we got to the next casino in Wyandotte, we talked about some of the stupid things these people have done in the past. I called my Mom's house to let her know that Shael needed to spend the night with her because it was just now 9:09 and we still had two stops to go, the last one being Grand Lake, which is way out of the way, and then we still had to take his Mom all the way back home in Miami. I told her to tell Shael that we got conned into taking Michelle with a Mustache (Shael's pet name for the old gal) home from Border Town. Those people were just sitting there, waiting for someone they knew to walk by so they could pile into their vehicle and get taken home, instead of walking the few blocks. I rode those 10 minutes with the window down, the one that goes down, and when we got to Wyandotte, I left it down the whole time we were in there. She smelled like nasty arm pits, plain old dirty B.O. a smell that can hardly stand. To me, it smells like the cheapest of cheap yellow mustard. The smell of yellow mustard makes me heave and gag and nearly throw up. He, on the other hand, smelled like ass. Dirty ass. Seven different kinds of dirty ass. All rolled up in one. Bleah. Even the cigarette smell in the Turtle was a welcome smell compared to what was left lingering in our Suburban. When I'd talked to Mom and told her about it she laughed and asked if we were in my car or the Suburban and I said "Oh, God, if we'd been in my car I would have told Mike to come back to pick me up because there would have been no way on earth I would have ridden in my little back seat squished up against those two. I would have ridden in the trunk first. Even on the top of the car would have better than sitting next to those two. *shudder*
So, that was our evening. Mike won me some Christmas shopping money. Yay! He was going to give me some out of his savings, now he doesn't have to, he can just give me the whole $300 he's got in his pocket. I can find a good home for it in a heart beat. In fact, I've already got homes in mind for all those twenties.
Happy Shopping!

Mmmm, K?

I listen to a lot of songs, as you know. I listen to a lot of words, lyrics. But this one, it has me stymied. My usual KOBC was playing old ladyish Christmas music that I didn't like, Air One was talking about the indide of their refrigerator at work (wow, breaking news!) and Magic 93.9 was playing commercials so I turned it to my other alternative, KOOL 106.1. Oldies. They played this stupid version of 12 Days of Christmas that I endured, then I listened to the Tulsa news and weather. Then they played "Brand New Key" by Melanie. Slightly catchy tune, the way she goes way up when she sings "Well, I've got a brand new pair of roller skates you've got a brand new key". But, when the song was over, the DJ said that the song was full of double-entendre and was an "adult" song. What? I had listened carefully to the words and I didn't notice anything. So, naturally, when I got home, I googled the song and read the lyrics and I still don't notice any double-entendre. I know I can be naive sometimes, but not that naive. I know what I'm looking for here and I still don't see it. I feel like I'm the clueless Mom who gives quizzed looks at her son's friend after asking "Would you like some Kool-Aid with your hot dog, honey?" and the friend goes "Do I want Kool-Aid with my hot dog? Bring it on, baby!" embarrassing the son to no end and confusing the mom. It just makes no sense.
Here. See for yourself.

Brand New Key
( Melanie )
I rode my bicycle past your window last night
I roller skated to your door at daylight
It almost seems like you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you got something I need
Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out you see
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I ride my bike, I roller skate, don't drive no car
Don't go too fast, but I go pretty far
For somebody who don't drive
I been all around the world
Some people say, I done all right for a girl
Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out you see
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I asked your mother if you were at home
She said, yes .. But you weren't alone
Oh, sometimes I think that you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you've got something I need
Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out to see
La la la la la la la la, la la la la la la
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

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People say it's about a virgin girl who is chasing after a virgin boy so they can have sex together and lose their virginity with each other. I guess I can see that, but, it is really stretching it for me. No double-entendre intended. heh heh.

Times, They Are A Changing

Shael came home last night telling her Dad and me that she was glad we didn't have her ride the bus that morning because a kid brought a gun onto the bus. WHAT?! The kid's name is Damion. Isn't that the name of the spawn of Satan on The Omen? Shael was talking about it again this morning when I was taking her to school. I asked her if the kid's last name was Smith (name changed to protect the innocent, mainly myself and my little family) and she looked at me and laughed and said "That's the same exact question Daddy asked me!" Well! Any Wyandottian knows what name I'm dancing around, here. You can't blame me for asking. They're usually behind any kind of illegal activity that happens around this area. I like them alright, they have never done anything to me, and I am even distantly retlated to them. Tribal members every one of them. They know they are trouble makers. And there's so many of them! The few that aren't trouble makers are guilty by association, bless their hearts.
But, anyway, back to the gun. I don't know what kind of gun it was. I only know that the bus driver said to the whole gang of bus riders to report anything that even resembled a gun or a knife immediately. I guess he got lots of blank stares because he added "because Damion brought a gun on this bus this morning and he got locked up for it!" Oh, little town of Wyandotte, don't bring guns to this school, you fool.
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I am an Okie. I was born and raised an Okie and my daughter was born and is being raised an Okie. I freely admit I have a thick Okie accent. Although I don't notice it, I was recently made aware in a conversation with the postman in Norridgewock, Maine and my B/F that yes, it's a thick accent. So, naturally, Shael has this same thick Okie accent. I remember when she was four years old and I took her to Maine with me how they loved to hear her say the words "twins" and "brown". Two one syllable words made into two syllable words. She still pronounces them that way, she uses the word "y'all" correctly, and lately I've noticed that she's been pronouncing the word "can't" as "cain't". But there's one word she says that drives me batty. She does not pronounce it the way the rest of us in this house pronounce it. I don't know where she got this pronunciation from, none of my family calls it that. Must be Mike's family, though they are hillbillies among hillbillies and where they'd get that word from is beyond me. The word: Towel. Around here it's pronounced "towl" or maybe more accurately "tal". Shael pronounces it in two syllables. "Tow-el". Rhymes with owl, if it was said "ow-el". Okay, where did that come from? I don't get on to her for it, because that would just be crazy. But, I do mention it. Kind of in a joking way, I don't want to scar the poor child over a stupid word. She's getting better at getting her own before getting into the shower, but it use to be an every night thing and it was so dang irritating! "Mommy! I need a tow-elllll!" Grrrr. You mean a tal?
All that to tell you what Mike said to her Monday night. She was wrestling around with her Daddy, as usual, and she "accidentally" (she later told us she did it to try to hurt herself enough so she wouldn't have to go to school the next day. Now that's planning) tripped over a basket of clean towels and they went scattering across the love seat. Mike made her pick them up the fold them and put them away. She whined about it because she said Mama was picky about how the towels were folded. We told her to do it right then. Then when we told her to put them away she whined about that, too, saying Mama was picky about how they were put away, too. So, put them away right, we told her. And she's right, I'm very picky about how they are folded and which towels go on what shelf, I have a system and it bugs me when they are put away wrong. As it turns out, I should have saved myself a load of aggravation and done it myself because when I went to grab a kitchen towel and found the mess she'd made on the shelves, I re-did it all.
But, anyway, as she was whining about the "tow-els" I started kind of making fun of the way she says it. I told her she says it like a Yankee. I have these friends who are from New York, though they've lived in Oklahoma for 32 years, they still retain the New York accent. They say "tow-el". They're Yankees transplanted to Oklahoma, though, they're entitled. But, Shael? She kept arguing with me about the pronunciation of the word and I kept calling her a Yankee and Mike was laughing and calling her a "Damn Yankee" when she finally asked "What's a Yankee?" And Mike, without missing a beat said "It's like a quickie only you can do it yourself". I thought I'd fall over and melt into the kitchen floor. Thank goodness she didn't understand and I had to quickly supply the correct definition of the word so she wouldn't continue to ask what her Daddy was talking about. That man, he can still make me blush.

Insert Clever Title Here

I did some more Christmas shopping today. Yay me! *does her best London Tipton fast-clap* At none other than the Evil Empire. I went in a different direction than I've ever gone with my oldest niece, I hope she likes it. And, if she doesn't like it, she can always take it back for some school supplies or a six month supply of tampons or something. I got two of my nieces completely taken care of. I still need to get something for the three nephews. I think maybe for my oldest nephew, I should go to the thrift store and find him some "retro" polyester britches and a plaid shirt to match. What do you think? Good idea? Eh, mebbe not.

Today, I went to read one of the seven books I picked up in Dallas, and lo and behold, I've read it before. It seemed familiar in the first few pages, but when I got to the end of the prologue, I knew I'd read it. Shoot, I paid five bucks for that book and it was a good deal on a hard back Larry McMurtry book. Too bad I've already read it. Too bad I don't know anybody that appreciates getting books for Christmas. Besides myself, that is.

I went to lunch with my friend, Valerie, today. We ate at a Mexican joint in Grove and when we finished eating, we sat and visited until the place literally cleared out. The wait staff was rolling silverware and the kitchen staff was eating lunch. And we were sitting there talking still. It had been since October that we'd had a chance to catch up. We've had quick phone calls here and there and a couple emails and I've dropped by to see her for a few minutes at her work, but she's always busy and I don't hang around long. We sat in that restaurant for 2-1/2 hours. It felt pretty good to talk and laugh.

Mike had to go to his every other year safety course today. He calls it his time to "go blow a dummy". CPR, he means. I could SO make a joke out of that, but, I'll refrain. He had to be in Webb City by 7:00 this morning and that meant leaving the house by 6:00. He'd be a few minutes early, but not much. I, for some reason, went to bed way early last night. I'm talking 8:00, here. I was reading and the next thing I knew I was asleep. I woke up at 9:19 and sent Shael off to bed, she thought she was getting away with something, all hid out in her room and all. I put my book away and went back to sleep until Mike came to bed around 10:00 and we talked a few minutes, then I was right back out like a light. So, I got plenty of sleep, I should have been awake and raring to go by 5:00 or 5:30. Nope, not this morning. I woke to Mike saying "Oh, shit !" and I looked over at the clock to find it was 6:10. Big oops. He jumped out of bed and hit the floor running. He peed, put on deo, brushed his teeth, got dressed and was out the door in about five minutes. I sent him on his way with a hurried "Be careful!" and he was gone. He called me while I was sitting with Valerie and told me that, hey, guess what? That CPR class, it didn't start until 8:00. LOL. He got there at 7:06 and had to sit around and wait for it to start at 8:00. That was good for a laugh. But, he blew the dummy and is now certified for another two years. heh heh.

How Cool Is That?

Yesterday, after taking Shael to school, I drove to Grove to pass out a few Christmas cards to my friends at Jack & Jill's. I stayed and visited for a while then decided my presence was in the way (that was a good feeling, I didn't have to stay, I wasn't obliged to stop those babies from crying!) so I left. On my way home, almost home, in fact, I popped up over this hill and there, sitting at the tip top of a dead tree to my right, was a bald eagle. The biggest I have ever seen. It was huge! I drove on a few more yards in case another car popped over the hill, and stopped. I rolled down my car's window and snapped a couple pictures with a disposable camera I had with me (the same one with the garage photos on it) that I'm sure won't turn out. It just sat there in that tree, watching me. Talk about majestic looking. I really wished I would have had a better camera with me, one that I could zoom a little. That would have been the perfect picture if I'd had zoom. Optical zoom, not just digital. I couldn't believe how big that thing was. It couldn't be the same one I saw fly over me a couple months ago, this one was way bigger. I wish it would have taken flight while I was watching it so I could have seen how wide it's wing span was. You see them on TV or in pictures and they look big, but when you see one in real life, you realize how big they really are. Massive. It was the most beautiful sight to see. I called Mike up right away and said "Guess what I just saw! It was so cool!" I'm so glad I went to J&J's before coming home or I would have missed seeing it.

Christmas Spirit

I just can't seem to muster it up. I've done my Christmas cards, even handmaking them. That didn't seem to help. Today I started on my shopping. I didn't have a lot of money to go with today, but I got started with some little things. Every year it gets harder and harder to buy for my nieces and nephews. I only see my sister's kids 7 or 8 times a year and I just don't know them very well anymore. They have expensive taste (who doesn't, I think they must get that from their Auntie) and I always worry that they go home saying "Aunt Stacie always gets me the same thing, it's so lame!" And my brother's kids, my gosh, the kids have everything they want already! This year I am even struggling to come up with ideas for my own child. I knew exactly what I wanted to get Mike but getting to Bass Pro may be a tad more difficult than I thought. I think I'll just go some time during the week and not even tell anyone. Leave right after I take Shael to school and get home before Mike. That way Shael won't whine that I went without her and Mike won't know I even got it. He knows what I want to get him and he told me today not to worry about getting it. He didn't want me buying him anything because he wasn't planning on buying me anything. Yeah. He says that every year and he always goes out on Christmas Eve with Shael, gives her a few bucks to buy little things for everybody in the family and he always ends up buying me something while he's out. There's been years that I haven't got him anything. He honestly doesn't seem to care. There's been years that he didn't get me anything and I can honestly say that I cared. I'm shallow enough to care, yet honest enough to admit it. It hurt my feelings something fierce, then it made him feel bad, then I felt bad for making him feel bad. Ugh! It's a vicious, vicious cycle. If we really didn't have the money, that would be a different story.

But, enough of my shallowness. I'm sick of me. I watch too much TV where they husband surprises the wife with a article of jewelry from Jared's, or Zales, or Kay's. Or even JC Penny, or Sears! That ain't gonna happen. Not in my life time. But, a wife can dream. Now, my Dad, there has never been another husband like him. I see him and get stars in my eyes and wish my husband would do things like that for me. He buys my Mom jewelry for every occasion, just about. Not that I want a butt load of jewelry, but there are a few things I've always wanted. He's picked flowers for her in the spring and the summer and brought them home to her. He's had flowers delivered to her at work. The last time Mike had flowers delivered to me was one week before our wedding. The last time he picked flowers for me was when I was pregnant.

Enough! Enough, enough, enough! I'm just mad at him because he picked Mitchell over me again today. His argument was that he stayed home for several days straight, why was I not wanting him to go anywhere? My reply? "SO HAVE I!" I haven't gone anywhere, either. I'd like to go somewhere. And I'd asked him to take me to Tulsa. Broken Arrow, more specifically. Bass Pro! I couldn't believe he passed up a trip to Bass Pro to go to Joplin with Mitchell. I asked him to take me because I don't know how to get there. I do, however, know how to get to the one in Springfield.

He got home fairly early. Freezing cold, because he was on the bike. Supper was just finishing up in the oven. He warmed up, ate, watched a little Polar Express with me and Shael, then gets up and says "Well, I'm leaving". Where, you may ask? To the bar. With Mitchell. Where else. GRRRRR. According to him, though, they were going to play pool at the only billiard place in Grove, which happens to be a bar. Where do you think they spent their day today in Joplin? J-Town. Billiard place. Also a bar. J-Town is a little more family friendly, the bar part is sectioned off so kids can come in and play pool, but not belly up to the bar. But, still, it was almost 9:00 when he left to go play tonight.

I'm just jealous. Sometimes I wish he'd never been introduced to my cousin, Mitchell.

I want a man who looks forward to seeing me in the evening. Who comes home to be with his family, not comes home because this is just the place he lives and gets fed every night and sex whenever he feels like it. Dadgumit! I get so mad at myself because I want to be aloof and indifferent, like he is, but I betray myself and get excited to see him when he gets home. There's been times that he's said "Hey, let's go do something" and I put the food that I just finished cooking for supper in the refrigerator to eat later, literally drop everything, and go along with him. Simply because he asked. To get him to do something with me, I have to have an appointment two weeks in advance and drop subtle reminders throughout those two weeks without it coming across as nagging. Ahhh!

I'm frustrated, irritated, disconnected from it all.

Ah, heck, I'll just post the whole dang song. Thanks Krystal Meyers.

Dear God

It's me again down here

Don't wanna sound insincere

I'm lost

Sometimes you're so unclear

What can I do?

I'm feeling so far from you

Frustrated

Irritated

Disconnected from it all

The weight of the world

Has pushed me to the wall

(Chorus)

I surrender

To you I'm giving in

Come take me

Save me

I want to start again

I'll open my broken heart

'Cause I've reached the end

And you are the way to begin

I've seen a million empty smiles

Living in denial

I don't wanna live like that

Where nothing's real

I hate how it is to feel

Frustrated

Irritated

Disconnected from it all

I'm breaking

I'm aching for something beautiful

(Chorus)

All the riches in this world

Couldn't fill this great big hole

It takes something so much more

Only you can take me

You can make me whole

Favorite Line

I think my most favorite line in a song right now might be from a song that I only half way care for. But that one line gets me to thinking every time I hear it. Truer words were never spoken. Especially by DecembeRadio.

*My life is like an eight track I can't rewind*

Somebody Tell Me Why!

Every single time I dream of home, I dream of our old trailer. I don't think I ever dream of the place where we live now, and have lived for six years now. Eight out of ten dreams the people I dream about are younger than they really are. The other night I dreamed that my niece Emily (who is really 17) was a toddler and her "Bubba" (who is actually 16)was a newborn. I was in high school, my brother in college, my Grandma Stovall still alive and my Dad drove that old brown Ford pickup. Which he drove down a steep hill in reverse. Last night I dreamed that my nephew, Sage, was a toddler and he made a HUGE mess in my house, my trailer, that is, with flour, salt, sugar, powdered sugar, and basically anything with a powdery consistency. I mean the stuff was in piles everywhere. Corn meal, too. I wanted to shake the tar out of the child, then shake his step Dad for not paying better attention to him in the first place. Each room had these ingredients all over the floors and piled up to 6 inches in every corner.

I think I might need a shrink. I could keep one busy by just telling them my dreams from every night.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Yesterday Mike came all the way home to pick me up and then he took me to Joplin with him. What a guy. He had to get new tires put on his company truck and he asked me if I wanted to go. Sure thing! Especially if he was going to pick me up. We stopped and got a few things from the grocery store in Seneca then we got to my Dad's garage to help them some more with the clean up. Mike's been going every afternoon after work and helping out until it gets too dark to see anything. We were only there for about an hour last night before nightfall, so we didn't help too much. We shoveled, swept, and squeegied snow for an hour. My cousin, Mitchell, was there when we got there. And of course, my Uncle and my Dad. With the five of us, we moved some snow out of there. Lots of it. I didn't help a whole lot, I basically tried to sweep snow out one of the bay doors without getting in the way of the men who could push around about twice as much as I could at a time. Mike told me every little bit helped, but I so wanted to tell him to not treat me like a child. I knew I wasn't helping much. But, they had to get that snow out of there before it melted and became one big, wet mess. No worries about that today, since it never got above freezing all day. But, they do want the snow out so they can take the roof apart piece by piece. They are going to reuse as much as they can and take the I-beams down to the place that built the garage to have them do some work on them so they can reuse them, also. They made lots of progress yesterday, a few people showed up to help them during the day. It won't be an overnight fix, but I think they'll have it done quicker than I originally thought. If everything goes smoothly, (and how often does that happen?) I think maybe a month. I hope, anyway.

I think my brother and I are going to take our children to Vinita where we'll meet my sister's children at a photographer and have a portrait made of all nine grandkids. That's what my Mom said she wanted for Christmas. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they can all make it that day.

Well, it's fully dark now so my little family should be home soon. I have the table set and ready for them and now all I have to do is a little last minute heating up of the vegetable soup I made today. Perfect for a cold night. Adios!

Hawk Nelson

As many of you know by now, I have this thing for song lyrics. I'm here to tell you that there really is a song for every mood you're in, every feeling you feel and every emotion that may surface. There are some bands that just have a knack for hitting the nail on the head with me. With Hawk Nelson, it's a double whammy, because I love their sound and I love their lyrics. They have that California surfer dude sound with great words. Reliant K, I like them, too, they have the same sound, but most of their lyrics are like cotton candy, all fluff and no substance. They have a few good ones thrown in there sporadically, but for the most part, they're all about the sound. Switchfoot, probably an original in a land of copycats, they have many good lyrics, but I think they are almost cryptic. You don't really get it until you go through something and you think "Oh, that's what that song is about".

Lately I have been listening to lots and lots of "interesting m-music" as Lorraine on Back to the Future put it. Mike, for some reason that I won't even try to understand, calls it butt hole music. Mom and Daddy call it screaming noise. I call it America's best kept secret. The best place to hide awesome lyrics is in music that you have to really pay attention to to understand the words. And there are some songs that are too much for me, so I don't pay attention to those songs, but some of them, once you get past the gut wrenching scream of words like "I WILL DECREASE SO YOU CAN INCREASE!! I WILL DECREASE SO YOU CAN INCREASE!!" you'll see where I'm coming from.

Awesome, dude.

Here's one of my favorites. And it's not even a screamer.

Hawk Nelson

Take Me

Can you hear me? Does anyone around me
Feel the way that I feel now?
Cause from the window where I sometimes cry
I just want to see Your face tonight
And Im willing to lose everything I am
Cause I need you more than ever
I need Your help to find where Ive been going wrong so far
Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
Youre not alone anymore
When Youre near me, I feel like I just found me
In the traces of the boy from yesterday
But in a world that is so black and white
I will take the steps to change my life
And I wont be coming back to here again
I need Your loving hand to guide me
Through the maze of all the things inside me
Then Ill know that Im alright
Cause I need You more than ever
I need Your help to find where Ill be going wrong so far
Tale me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in Your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
Youre not along anymore
Please help me get from worse to better
Before these tears soak through this lonely sweater
And let me know that Im alright
I still have one strike of this match left
And Im holding on to my last breath
And its getting a little dark around to see here
Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on cause it will be alright
Youre not alone
Take me under Your wing tonight
Make me so perfect in your eyes
Hold on it will be alright
Youre not alone
And Youll be here forever, forever Youll stay
And You promised to love me, Youll love me always
Youll love me for always, Youll love me for always
Always

Back To Normal, Sort Of

Whatever normal is, that is. Mike has gone back to work, Shael back to school. Well, actually, not really. She made it as far as my Mom's house this morning. Mike took her there to catch the bus so I wouldn't have to get out to take her to school. Wyandotte is literally the only school in the area having school. Miami being the closest other school in session. Seneca~closed. Fairland~closed. Grove~closed. Turkey Ford~closed. Westview~closed. All very close to Wyandotte. We were up at 5:15 watching the school closings and each time it would get to the W's Shael would be holding her breath, but each time it went "Welch~closed. Webb City~closed (teachers and staff will report at 8:00) Westview~closed. Wheaton~closed. Afton~closed." When Afton would pop up, Shael would do that eerily Stacie-like "Rrrrrr" sound in her throat and flop back on the love seat.

Then, at 7:00, my Mom calls me and asks me if it's okay if Shael stays home today because she was too leary of sending her off on the school bus because the roads were still pretty bad in her neck of the woods. I told her I didn't care so she kept Shael home with her. Mike called me around 7:15 wanting to know if Wyandotte ever canceled and I told him what the deal was. He laughed and agreed with my Mom because when he took Shael that morning he was sliding around quite a bit. He also said he had to go to Wyandotte this afternoon so he would just pick her up on his way home. I don't have to step outside all day if I don't want to.

The roads in Delaware county are fair, the highway, that is, the side roads are still solid sheets of ice. The roads in Ottawa county are all still terrible, even the highways. Sad and embarrassing.

But, today, I can get my house back in order after having Mike home for five days in a row. Not to mention the main mess maker in this home, Shael.

Saturday we finally got out and went up to the garage and looked around. It's awful. Worse than I could have imagined. I forgot my digital camera, but Mike had a disposable one in the Suburban, so I snapped lots of pictures with it. Hopefully they'll turn out and I can get them on here soon. I also snapped a picture of a dock that was weighted down by the ice and snow and sunk. The damage at the garage is extensive. The vehicles that got damaged weren't anything fancy, but still somebody's car. One was an old Chevy pickup that got it's windshield smashed, it was on the edge so, not too much damage on it that we could see. It's just sickening, though. To look at it, to think about it, everything about it makes me heart sick. They are completely out of business now, and this close to Christmas! How terrible!

I saw on the news this morning about the Tracker boat factory in Miami had the same problem. Those poor people who are going to be out of work for a while until they can rebuild the place.

After touring the damage and Mike helping Daddy start some clearing off, we left and went to Grove. We went to Lowe's and got some stuff for behind the wood stove. Mike is going to hang porcelain tile on the wall behind the stove and on the floor around it. It will be a while before that project gets done, but he's got the stuff for it, by golly. He feels better having the concrete wall board leaning up against the sheetrock wall for now.

And of course, what would a trip into town be without the customary stop at Wal-Mart? I was down to my very last cotton ball and I absolutely had to buy some more. I can't sleep without cotton in my ears. Mike also wanted to get the stuff to make chili. That was one good thing about him being home, he did all the supper cooking. Amazing, isn't it? I think it was strictly to combat boredom on his part. I'm sure he wanted to make sure I had something to do when he finally did go back to work, because he never cleaned up one single mess he made. Didn't wash one single dish he dirtied, and when he cooks, he dirties up a lot of dishes. Have you ever watched cooking shows where they put all the ingredients in little bowls first so they'll all be conveniently placed around the dish you are going to be cooking in so you don't have to pull out the whole canister on TV? That's how Mike cooks. "Woops, that bowl isn't big enough, get me that other bowl. Where do you keep your smaller sauce pans? This one's too big." And so on and so forth.

I'd better go tackle that sink full of dirty dishes. And that counter top full of the same. Laundry needs to be switched out, too. Since that Romeo and his lazy band of Montegues and Capulets never did show their hides around here, guess it's all up to me. Happy cleaning to me. Joy.

What A Mess

First ice. Then snow. And lots of it. It sleeted for hours yesterday, piling up on everything, making it nearly impossible even to exit the house because the door was frozen shut. Right as we were getting ready to go to bed, the sleet turned to snow and then it snowed for hours. I don't know how many inches we ended up with, but at our house, it's at least a foot. Shael is tucked away safely at my parents house, but is now getting bored and wants to come home. But guess what? We can't even get our Suburban out of the yard. We had gone to Joplin Wednesday night to get some last minute things done before the storm hit and it was raining pretty hard when we got home so Mike backed the Suburban up to the back porch so we wouldn't have to walk through the pond that is normally our back yard. By the next day, it was ice and he didn't even think to move it before the snow piled on top of that. So, now it's stuck. Yay. And so are we. Oh, well. We have plenty of food, plenty of fire wood and the sun is shining bright, melting the snow right now, even. I'm thinking of making a big pot of hot chocolate and a batch of sugar cookies. Being snowed in just calls for that, I think.

On the down side, my Dad's place of business had the roof cave in from the weight of the ice and snow. I'm not sure of the details yet, but Mike is going to have my Dad come out and pull our Suburban free and we'll go up there to try to help him. I'm planning on taking pictures, I'll post some later. My Dad's a mechanic and his garage is pretty big. Mike and I don't know who's cars were inside, but we are hoping that no high dollar vehicles were damaged and that the insurance will pay for any cars that were crushed.

Kudos to my nephew, Luke, for wearing his seatbelt when his Mama wasn't there to tell him to wear it. We are all very glad you had it on, Mr. Now for the good natured ribbing: Shall we buy you a helmet and elbow pads for Christmas? Can we pass on the title of "Crash Test Dummy" to you, since Shael and I have owned it for nearly two years now? Be careful out there!