My God Is So Good To Me

I've had my sad times
And I've had hills to climb
I've had my bad times
And then a weary mind
But then I look about
And think all things out
All of the good things
Outweigh the bad things
I can't complain

My God is good to me
Oh, yes, He's good to me
He's more than this world could be
He's so good to me
His Spirit came to me
And gave me victory
And my God is so good to me
I can't complain

Sometimes the clouds hang low
And I would like to see them go
I've asked God the question
"Oh Lord, tell me why there's so much pain?"
But He knows what's best for me
Although I cannot see
And my God is so good to me
I can't complain

Here He Comes To Save The Day!

No Mighty Mouse around here. I'll be waiting on the Lord.



Anyway, it's been a while since I've posted on here. Sorry about that. I get busy and don't have the time or the energy to walk to the college library to post. But, this morning I'm in Grove and it's no biggie to walk to the next room to the computer lab.



So much has happened since I last posted. I got a job. Yay. At the Eastern-Shawnee Travel Center. I'm a clerk in the c-store on Friday nights Saturday nights and Sunday nights. I work 2:30- 11:00. So, it's like midnight when I get home. I'm tired now. For a person who is use to going to bed with the chickens (practically) this working to 11:30 and getting home at midnight is hard business. But, I can do it. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.



The job itself is fine. The people who have been training me and the managers are just not the type of people I usually hang with. After being in school in Miami then going to work there, I now feel I am the only Christian in Ottawa county. Where are all the rest of us? They certainly don't go to ESTC to buy their Dr. Pepper or gas, or whatever. All I get are these foul mouthed people who wouldn't know what a Bible was for if you gave them one.



This lady that's been training me has been telling me these awful stories of her every day life. To her they don't seem as awful as they do to me. For one, I would have no clue where to even begin to search for someone who sold meth. She, on the other hand, got accused of selling it when she went to her friendly neighborhood meth dealer and asked him if he could set her friend up in some meth for her "back pain". Oh, pu-lease!

Her 14 year old daughter has been in trouble with tho police THREE times for being in possession of pot. She has been having sex since she was 11 years old, and one night when she was discovered to be completely drunk (at home while mom & dad were asleep) and having sex with one of her big brother's friends, they took her to the hospital. Once there, they found she tested positive for methanphedamines. WHAT??? It turns out she was taking Adorol to lose weight. Adorol! Where was she getting it? A friend of hers knows this guy in Miami who deals it. They nicknamed him "Addy".

The worst part of all this is that she goes to my daughter's school and is only one year older and one grade ahead of Shael. I am so thankful for my good girl. She might be a mouthy teenage girl, but I can trust her to not smoke pot, get drunk or have sex. I can let her go places without worrying about what she might be doing. For one, I don't let her spend the night with her friends. If her friends want to spend the night at our house, that's okay, but Shael is not allowed to spend the night with them. That makes her mad, but I think when she grows up, she'll understand and probably do the same for her kids.

Here's my 13 year old daughter who is in to Hannah Montana and High School Musical. She likes Miley Sirus and Corbin Blue. Then there's this other girl, 14 years old, in to pot, Adorol,sex and looking at college boys. Man, and I thought I was a handful at that age.



Well, for something on the brighter side of life. I got the highest score on my very first Algebra test. College Algebra so far has not turned out near as hard as I was giving it credit for. Yes, I know I'm only three weeks into it so far, but, it's been three good weeks. She put the grades on the board with no names. To let us know where we stand with the rest of the class, I guess. And to tell us what grades were A's, B's, C's, D's and F's. I made a B. Almost an A. It was an 87. So far my average in there is 85.4. It would be a victory of victories if I could bring that up to an A and keep it there. On that test there were no A's, only 2 B's, several C's, a few D's and five F's. Yikes.



I start lab school next Monday. I have to do two hours a week there. It's a pre school that the college offers so that the Education majors can go in and do their lab work with real live children. I'm going to be killing two birds with one stone, so to speak. I'll be doing my lab work for my Child Development class, plus I'll be doing my observation for my Health & Safety class. Because if I don't do them together, I'll have to scrounge up time to go to a public school or a day care for my Health & Safety class. And if she has us doing observations on children eating full meals, then I guess I'll have to go scrounge up the time because the lab school is only for two hours a day and I don't think they serve lunch.



My Sociology class is still pretty boring. I don't think it's the subject. I hope not, because I'll be having lots more like it in my future. It's the teacher, she just tells stories about her life and she tells them over and over again. It makes me want to raise my hand as finish her story for her. It's like going to class with 5 second Tom from 50 First Dates.



I checked my NEO email about 30 minutes ago and found an email that I wish I would have found before January 23. It was telling me that January 23rd was transfer day and representatives from different schools would be there to help you transfer to their school. And University of Arkansas was one of them. CRAP! I needed to talk to them and I missed it simply because I didn't check my email on time. I was there that day, at that time, I could have easily gone to the ballroom and talked to them. I think they must've sent that email too little too late because I did check my NEO account on the 23rd and that was email was not there. Goobers. Now I have to do it all by myself.



You know what I think is kind of funny? That my lifelong motto has been picked up by a trash company. Go figure. Think Green, people. I'm just glad I didn't go ahead and get it tattooed on my body like I use to want to do. The first time I saw that commercial, I said "WHAT!!!??? They can't use that! I knew I should have had that saying copyrighted. I could've been rich. Thank God I didn't get that tattoo when I wanted to." I could have been Waste Management's spokesperson. LOL. I have been saying Think Green since the 7th grade. That's 1985-86. Copy cats.



Well, I gotta go. It's time for me to start doing my Wednesday night kids class work. I usually do that on Thursdays, but last Thursday they didn't have it in yet, so I had to wait until Sunday. Sunday when I asked about it, I found it still hadn't come in. "Probably Monday!" is what they told me. So, if it's not in by today, I might be in trouble tomorrow night. We might just have to do a free night.

Before I go, I have to tell you what happened on our Mexican party night last Wednesday night. It will forever go down in history as "The Pinata Fiasco Night". Our session had been all about Mexico so for our final night, I bought a big bull pinata and brought chips and salsa to snack on and Mexican Hot Chocolate to sip on. There were about 24 kids there that night and it took me over 5 minutes to get them all lined up according to age. The older ones in the back and the younger ones in the front. That way the older ones wouldn't knock it down at the beginning and ruin the fun for the rest of them. Well, it didn't work out as well as I'd planned. The fourth 5 year old knocked it down. That meant TWENTY kids didn't get a turn. I had kids crying and bawling all over the place. Then when they started after all that candy, there were kids stealing candy out of other kids' hands and making them cry. So, what did I learn from this? When whacking at a pinata, if the guy working the rope isn't going to watch and make sure the first kid doesn't knock it down, use lighter weight sticks to whack at it. It's funny now, but at the time, I felt so sorry for those 20 kids who were like "Man! I didn't get a chance!"

This morning I was reading on the backs of old pictures and I found a picture of a girl I went to school with named Stacy. Since I was Stacie, also, I called her by her last name. Which I won't disclose here. But, anyway, she and I use to have a saying that I had completely forgotten about until this morning when I read it again. Have a day. Use it however you want to. If you want to have a good day, then have a good day. If you want to have a bad day, then have a bad day, just don't drag me into it.

So, all you bloggers. Have A Day.

Baby It's Cold Outside...again

Shael is all upset that I'm going to get my car painted green. I, on the other hand, am excited. I only hope that Daddy doesn't keep my car for two months while he's in the process of painting it. Since Shael will be given this car as her first car, more than likely, she's upset with the color. She said if it were camo color, then she'd be okay with that green. Kids. Maybe when she gets it, I'll get some spray paint and some leaves and camo my green car for her. LOL.

I made my oral report on Freud today. I think I did a fine, bang up job. The next person had Erickson, and she did horrible. She droned on and on, reading out of her text verbatim. Exactly what the instructor told us not to do. We didn't even get past Erickson because she took so long going over the 8 psychological stages. When a simple sentence for each stage would have sufficed, she kept reading and kept reading until none of us were paying any attention to her. If I'd had a paperback in my back pocket, I would have dug it out and started reading something interesting.

Mike called me from the bar last night to ask me where my camera was. I told him where and he started laughing saying that he'd found his Mom's camera. Which has been MIA for over a month, now. All this time we all thought her camera was somewhere in her messy house. But, all along, it was tucked away in Mike's messy Suburban. When we took her out to eat for her birthday, it must've fallen out of her bag. And it's been there ever since. So, I'm going to stop by her house and surprise her with it. My brother in law said the same exact words I did when we were all looking for it on Michael's birthday... "It could be anywhere". If you saw the inside of her house, you'd understand.

Well, the weather's starting to get yucky, and I didn't put any wood inside to keep it dry, so I'd better get on out of here and hope that it isn't pouring down rain at home. Or worse. Pouring down sleet or ice.

See ya!

Stupid Deer

I hit a deer last week. Stupid thing. If it would have stayed where it was, I would have completely missed it. But, oh no! The stupid thing had to take off at the very last available second to be smacked by my car. So, instead of hitting a deer, I was hit by a deer. She smashed my headlight, struck her head on my left fender, moving it back about a quarter of an inch, dented in my drivers side door and left her hair and blood in various places around the left side of my car. When I first got stopped, I could hardly get my door open. Now that it's been a week, it has kind of loosened up a bit but it still sticks and makes this horrible haunted house creaky door sound when I open it. It's because the fender was moved back that quarter of an inch and was in the way of the door.
Insurance actually came through for me and is paying to have it fixed. Mike and my Dad are going to do it and guess what? Daddy said he would paint the whole car for me and I can change to whatever color I want. Except red because red paint is too expensive. Can you see me driving my first green car? Oh, yeah, I can. After all these years, I'll finally get a green car. I wish you could have seen the look on Mike's face when I told him green. He told me that he and Daddy had been discussing what color to paint it and what color they thought I might want. Daddy had said "You don't think she'll want that stupid green, do you?" and Mike said "Well, you know she will!" I guess the two men in my life kind of know me.
So, anyway, in a couple weeks, I should have my green lumina. The color of my car has been the main thing I haven't liked about it from the beginning. White. Yuck. You either love it or hate it. And I hate it. White cars are for old people.
The bad news is, I'll have to drive the Suburban for a week and a half. Man, I've GOT to get a job! If anyone knows of a part time job available, please let me know! To drive that tank for a week and a half, I might have to get some sort of loan.

I'm sitting here at the college library in Miami, half way looking out the window as I type. I'm sitting right next to the east window and I kind of enjoy watching the people walk by. And the animals! I've seen two dogs and a cat so far and I've only been here 15 minutes. What's up with the pets roaming around? Do the campus police need to add a dog catcher to their line up?

The other night, Mike got home around 12:30 and he picked a fight (no way!) and I got so upset I couldn't sleep afterwards. Mike, on the other hand, had no problem and was sawing logs. After fighting an hour, then trying to sleep for an hour, I ended up getting up and doing some homework at 2:30 in the morning. Might as well be productive if I'm awake anyway. And what did I start working on? I have an oral report due today at noon on none other than Freud. OH, HOW APPROPRIATE. Jeez-Louise. Yes, I was studying Freud after fighting with Mike about sex. How, well, Freudian.

Well, I really must get off here. I've got to do some more research on Anna Freud for my report. She actually worked more with children than her good old pop, Sigmund. I wonder if he thought she was in love and wanted to have sex with him, but chose his profession in lieu of his phallus. HA! Sicko.

Later!

Love is

For some reason, I ended up with my brother's children's living Bible from when we were kids. I've actually been reading it here and there. When I find a scripture I really like I read it in all the different versions I have to see if I can glean anything else out of it. Here's what this scripture said. I can't remember the exact address, but it's the scripture in Corinthians about love. Love is patient, love is kind, etc.

"Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out."

Now, here's the part that really touched me. I have never read anything like this in any other version. I think it was written just for me.

"If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, and always stand your ground in defending him."

This is for all those people out there who are wondering why I'm sticking with Mike. Why stay? They ask, I have every right to leave. And yes, I agree. I do have every right to leave. But, I don't want to. I have every right to stay, too. And I have chosen to stay because I love him. I know we can be happy. I trust in my Lord.

Well, gotta go. I'm at the library and I have 5 minutes to walk to Shipley 204 for College Algebra. I think I can make it.

Ta!

2007 in Review

Yes, I know it's a little late, but oh, what the hey, here it goes.

January 2007 I weighed in at a whopping 200+ pounds. 203, I think. I started out the year with lots of prayer and fasting. I lost 20 lbs quickly, then over the next few months lost another 10.
January also brought that bad ice storm. We were out of electricity for 11 days. It was not as hard for us as it was for some. We heat with a wood stove and cook with a propane range. No water was a hassle, but we made it just fine. We played lots of dice, Yahtzee, dominoes and darts. I was somewhat sad to see the power come back on.
I started back to school, FINALLY, in January. I was working at J&J for under the table pay and going to NEO for two classes. I found I quite enjoyed being back in school and kind of beat myself up for not going back sooner. I can't change the past, but I can change my future.
On January 7, Mike celebrated 34 years on this planet.
May brought the one year anniversary of my Pastor's death. I felt relieved to have it come and go. That date meant there would be less "firsts" in my life. The first Christmas without him, the first Thanksgiving without him, etc. I still miss him a lot, but our new Pastor is doing a fine job and really, I feel more comfortable talking to him than I ever did Pastor Leon.
June brought the beginning of bike rallies I never got invited to. It also brought our 14th wedding anniversary. Which Mike left for a rally on. My feelings were pretty hurt, but the next weekend he took me on a long bike ride down to Arkansas. Even though we got rained on and nearly ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere, we still had a good time.
In July, we became the proud parents of our very own teenager. Shael turned 13 on July 6.
July was also the first time I ever lost control of myself in a public place. I got mad at Mike and we got in a big fight at one of my Dad's campaign picnics. Since then, I have learned that I am suffering from pre-menopausal symptoms. Joy. Mike apparently isn't willing to help me through this difficult time like my Dad was for my Mom when she went through this mess.
On August 15th, I got to celebrate 34 years on this planet.
Also, in August, I finished my 2 summer classes, keeping my 4.0. Then I started my fall semester classes, taking 17 hours.
In September, Shael got a new puppy and I got to name him. He's still growing and he somewhat reminds me of my old dog, Dottie. Hyper and playful.
Back in June, I had quit J&J hopefully, for the last time. But, in the second week of October, I went back again. I didn't want to go back at all. It was the only place that I knew of who would work around my school schedule, and let me use the computer for quizzes and tests on days I had to work. She immediately started me at three days a week. That alone doesn't sound bad, but they were each 10 hour days. I had practically 0 homework time and I was staying up to 1:00 in the morning to do it. It was tough, my grades started slipping a bit, but I was determined to tough it out for Mike. He was the only reason I was doing it in the first place. He told me I had to get a job. So, I was miserable, but sticking with it for him.
Then October 29th came and changed our lives forever. I found out Mike was having an affair. After finding this out I quit at J&J. It had only been going on for 2 weeks (btw, I knew immediately when he started it b/c I'm not stupid, after all). He moved out and moved in with his girlfriend in Arkansas. He lived with her until Thanksgiving. He came home the day before Thanksgiving to be able to spend it with Shael and I went to my parents. Then on the day after Thanksgiving he actually moved out of her place and moved back home. He's been here ever since. But not very happy. He stays because he doesn't have the money to go or to get a divorce. But mostly he stays for Shael.
I still love him deeply. I don't know if I should preclude that sentence with "fortunately" or "unfortunately". I want him to stay. But, I want him to stay because he wants to, not because he has to.
We had a nice Christmas together. We didn't buy presents for anybody but Shael. It was nice. We've spent a lot of time together the past couple of weeks. It's bittersweet, though when I think it was probably our last Christmas together as a family. My poor Shael.
I can always hope. I will always hope. My God is so big, bigger than any problem I face. There's nothing He can't take and turn it into His glory. This is for His glory. I wish I could see the whole picture, but I can't so here I am, standing. Ephesians 6:13 says it all for me "Therefore take up the whole armor of Got, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."
December brought us another big ice storm. Though not as bad for us this time as the one in January, it was terrible for others. Because of this ice storm, all my finals were canceled. Unfortunately, I kissed my 4.0 goodbye this semester, but my grades were good enough I didn't have to worry about those finals. Awesome.
Somewhere in those terrible months, I lost another 10 pounds, ring it up to 40 pounds I lost in 2007. I rang in the new year at 160 pounds. Go me!
Though I don't know what 2008 holds for me and my family, I hold on to the word of God and trust in Him to always be there for me. God is in control.
I will leave you today with a little something Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance

of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me,

a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.

Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times

that it might depart from me.

And He said to me,

"My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is made perfect in weakness"

Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities,

that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches,

in needs, in persecutions, in distresses,

for Christ's sake.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Happy 2008

I'm still here. Here's to hoping 2008 is better than 2007.
I started back to school yesterday. My college algebra class is going to be better than I anticipated. The instructor is very nice and she seems eager to help. And she goes over every single step instead of assuming you know what you are doing and skipping things here and there.
I don't have much time, so I'll get out of here. I will really try to post more tomorrow.
Later!