Let's Hear It--Who-Rah!

I attended my last Children's Lit class last night. I turned in my book box and made my presentation and that was my final. I don't have to go back anymore. I'm so glad to have it over with. I feel like I have accomplished something. Made the first tiny step toward my ultimate goal. I have one more Psych class Friday then I return for my final next Wednesday at 8:00 a.m. (which is vile, according to Dr. D) and I'll be done with that class. It's been a fun class, I'm glad I took it when I did. The class dwindled down to 9 students. One or two dropped right away, then after spring break we lost a few more. Mostly it was those people who are working a full time job and trying to squeeze in some schooling in their spare time. Once I started, two weeks into the semester, I never missed a class.
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Well, I guess I should probably go. I'm sitting in the office at work, wasting some time before I go on the clock. Today the kids are gone to Camp Bandage, so it's fairly quiet around this joint. I like it when that happens.
Later, folks!

Hmmm

Here are some results from a Identity Test I just took at Tickle. Very interesting. It was kind of long and by the time I finished, I'd kind of forgotten what the test was even called.



The test you've just taken is a short version of the Five Factor model of identity. Among psychology experts, this approach has become broadly accepted for its accuracy and consistency. The five dimensions in this model give a complete description of your personality traits: Openness to Experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Negative Emotionality. Read below to see your scores and understand what they mean.

Openness To Experience: Your high score in the Openness category means that you probably have a strong creative streak. Your broad intellectual curiosity and your interest in the various arts set you apart. Some people may consider you somewhat of a dreamer, and your taste for variety often means moving quickly on to the next experience. This tendency makes you appear a bit flighty and inconsistent. But these elements of your personality simply reflect a character full of new ideas and charged with emotions.

Conscientiousness: Your medium score in the Conscientiousness category means that you have achieved a solid balance in your outlook towards responsibility. You are probably somewhat organized, with a little room for improvement. Your priorities probably reflect a mix of work and play. Thoughtfulness characterizes your thinking style, so you give gravity to important decisions without making a big deal out of minor issues. You are probably serious about achieving success, but do not feel completely driven by this motivation. All in all, you've got a very healthy perspective on work and duty.

Extraversion: Your low score in the Extraversion category indicates that your have an introverted social identity. Given the choice, you prefer keeping to yourself. Your independent nature is characterized by a reserved and steady demeanor. You keep to the background, and probably maintain a relatively quiet and inactive social life. Your social style earns you the reputation as somewhat aloof, because you don't care much for company. Your emotional state is quite reserved, and you are seldom known for qualities of exuberance.

Agreeableness: The Agreeableness category refers to your social disposition. Your high score indicates your tendency to forego your own desires for the sake of others - sometimes to a fault. You are probably known as a kind and modest person who is willing to overlook your own needs for the interest of the group. You believe in creating harmony among people, to the point where you can sometimes act a bit dependent. With your straightforward style of communication and your sentimental nature, this isn't hard for you. You tend to see the world by the light you cast - as honest and genuine.

Negative Emotionality: Negative Emotionality refers to your emotional reactivity. Your medium score means that you're someone who negotiates your emotions depending on your situation. Sometimes you may feel quite sensitive and emotional, while other times you may remain resilient to outside pressures. This quality of adaptation best describes your emotional character. You maintain a rational outlook, which is moderated by feelings. For example, you can sometimes feel sad, stressed, worried or embarrassed under the weight of a situation, but you are able to act quite calm and reserved, without yielding to the stress. Responsive, without being overly reactive, is the best way to describe you.

You're a Extraversion Low!

The Identity Test
Brought to you by Tickle

Post Partem Depression Is Not A Legal Mental Illness

But PMS is! And I think I'm suffering from it right now. You know how my plans never seem to work out the way I think they should? Today is no exception. Only today left me in tears. Mike has been buying my lunch for me quite a bit lately, and frankly, he's getting tired of it. I am too, I don't like to rely on him to eat. But somehow, my checkbook has been in the red for a couple weeks now and with each little pay check I pay my tithe, I buy gas, buy groceries and last week I bought some pictures I had taken of Shael and then my whole check is gone. Mike has had to buy gas for me more than once. The price of gas is not helping, by the way. At $2.69-$2.77 a gallon, $20.00 just doesn't get me as far as it once did.
So today, I get this day off and I have this brilliant idea that I'll make Mike's lunch for him, home made chicken and dumplings, complete with home made bread and a chocolate cake from scratch. It was suppose to be a surprise. I called him at 9:45 to ask him if he wanted to come home to eat or if I should bring it to him. He surprised me, instead. He told me he was going out to eat with his Mom at the Mexican restaurant. I started crying right away, even though I honestly tried not to. I tried to sound flippant as I said "Oh, well, I guess you can eat it for supper". I'm sure I didn't pull it off as well as I wanted. Eating it for supper will utterly destroy the purpose. I make supper for him every night. He eats my cooking in the evenings all the time, there won't be anything special about it. I wanted to tell him "thank you" for all he's been doing for me lately, and it just blew up in my face.
After I scrounged up enough to change to go buy milk and butter at Bradshaw's for the dumplings and mashed potatoes (he can't have chicken and dumplings without mashed potatoes) I put everything away in the refrigerator except for the chicken, which is still cooking, and cried into my pillow.
Talk about letting the wind out of my sails. Now I remember why I hate surprises.

Almost There

Just one more week and one more test to go and I'm done. For at least a month until summer school starts.
I have been one busy bee over the weekend. I really wanted to get my book box done Friday, but everything seemed to get in the way and I hardly even got the chance to work on it. First of all, I got called in to work and I worked about an hour and a half while this lady went to the doctor. Then, my Mother called me and wanted me to go type up Daddy's bio for him. I thought that would take maybe 10 minutes, then Mike would get there shortly after to pick me up on the bike and we would head to Joplin to get my stuff for my poetry board. I had it figured that we would be getting back to Wyandotte about the time Shael got out of school and I would take her home, fix supper and spend the rest of the day working on my book box and poetry board. Wrong. When do things actually go according to plan? First of all, when I got to the beauty shop, Daddy had changed his mind about me typing up the bio and had taken it to a friend. Why they didn't call me and tell me this so I could have gone to the library? Because they had a whole other project they wanted me to do. One much bigger project that required some computer skills and lots and lots of typing and/or time. They had a name and address list they wanted typed up so he could send out some more fliers. It was a revised list from what he had earlier. I would guess that there were approximately 1,500 - 2,000 names and addresses on this list. I set up the data base for Mom, showed her how to do it, showed her how to print it once she got all the names on it, and then typed 3 pages of names and addresses for her, just to get her started. The computer froze up once and I hadn't saved yet, so I had to start all over again. Thank goodness I was only on #16, but still, that was about 20 minutes wasted time there. After that, I started saving after every 5 names. I finally quit after a little over 100 and decided I needed to work on my book box some that day. I got 2 done. TWO WHOLE CARDS! I was disappointed in myself. Mike finally got there at 2:30, when I was expecting him around 12:30. Shael would be there in another hour! We finally got on the road and made it as far as Seneca when he announced he wanted to stop and wash the bike. Great. So we did. We did finally make it to Joplin and I did finally get my stuff I needed. When Mike dropped me off at my car, he went on for another ride since it was so nice out. I went home with the intention of fixing supper and working on my book box. I fixed supper then crashed. I didn't get a thing done. That meant I couldn't go on the big bike ride Saturday when the weather was picture perfect. I had to stay home and work on homework. I didn't start it until 1:00 in the afternoon and I finished it all at 7:00 that evening. I was worn out, but so happy to have it finally finished.
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Yesterday, I finally got to go on that long ride I've been wanting. We went back to West Fork, AR and back through Devil's Den, only this time, we stopped. On "the little woman's orders" as Mike kept telling everyone. I never complained about not stopping last time, only mentioned that I was surprised we didn't and that some day I'd like to go back and actually stop and look around. So we did, and the place is so cool! Now I want to go back and camp for 2 or 3 days. Take my time and really explore everything. It's so pretty there. I love Arkansas, I think I've said that a time or two. I took some pics, I'll try to post them on here so you can take a gander at the place.
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I don't have to work tomorrow or Friday. Heavenly days! I swear, I am not going to answer my phone Thursday night or Friday morning. I think I may even unhook the cord from the wall. And turn off my cell phone. Why? Because this week is "Week of the Young Child" and there is something planned for each and every day this week. Something big or out of the ordinary. And Friday is no exception. Friday is a carnival. There is no way I want to be involved in that. They can make do without me. I guess I might be interested she paid me overtime for that day. HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Like that would ever happen.
Today was a big blow up jumper/obstacle course. The kids played on that huge thing all day. They loved it. When the after school kids got there, the smaller kids had to give it up for them. They weren't happy, but the big kids were. They loved it, too.
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I am going to go soak in the bathtub for a while. I think that sounds like a great idea. I really miss my big bathtub from our trailer. This little old tub I've got now, well, it just isn't the same. Why is it that a junkie old trailer house had a nicer bathtub than a real, on the ground house?
G'night!

Almost Over

Only one more week and this school thing will be over. For a few weeks that is, until summer school starts. I haven't totally made up my mind about what to do with work. Should I quit, should I stay? I'm not very happy there so I think I will probably end up quiting. Mike wants me to, but then he wants me to go out and find another job. I want to focus on getting school out of the way, then go to work. He once told me that he would support me if that's what I wanted to do, but now I think he's getting second thoughts. I don't think I'll let that stop me. I loath the idea of working a full time or even a part time job and trying to cram in a few classes here and there for the next six or seven years. Not for me.
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I really don't have a whole lot to report on today. Mike and I are going to go to Joplin this afternoon and do a little shopping for my poetry board project for my children's lit class. I will miss the nice big ride that he and a group of his riding buddies will be taking tomorrow, Saturday, because I will be stuck home doing homework. I thought I was going to get a chance to do some today, but then I got called into work for two whole hours. So, I thought I'd squeeze some in between work and when Mike and I headed to Joplin, and then my Mom called me and asked me if I would type up my Dad's bio for the Tribal Newsletter. Sure. I can do everything. I'm super woman, remember? Today, I will go to class, go to work, help my Dad, and go shopping for craft/school supplies, jeans, shoes and jeans for Mike. All in one day, this is starting to sound like my sister's life. I've never envied her super woman life of constantly on the go.
I really hope that tomorrow, Shael gives me the peace and quiet that I'll need to get these things wrapped up so I won't have to worry and stew over them Monday night and Tuesday day before I hand them in Tuesday night.
Pray for me!

Isaiah 27:2-5

This is from The Message. I like this, but it probably only means something to me.

2-5"At that same time, a fine vineyard will appear. There's something to sing about! I, God, tend it. I keep it well-watered. I keep careful watch over it so that no one can damage it. I'm not angry. I care. Even if it gives me thistles and thornbushes, I'll just pull them out and burn them up. Let that vine cling to me for safety, let it find a good and whole life with me, let it hold on for a good and whole life."

Psalm 34

Here's one of my most favorite chapters in the whole Bible. Enjoy.

1 I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
2 My soul shall make her boast in the LORD: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.
3 O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
5 They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.
6 This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.
8 O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.
9 O fear the LORD, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him.
10 The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing.
11 Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
12 What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good?
13 Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.
14 Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.
15 The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.
16 The face of the LORD is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.
17 The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.
20 He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken.
21 Evil shall slay the wicked: and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate.
22 The LORD redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.

& I Ran, I Ran So Far Away....I Couldn't Get Away

I felt like I went all over today, and all I did was take Shael to school (25 minutes), drove to Grove for my Psych class (25 minutes), spent the next 2 hours driving all around Grove with Mike, drove to Miami (30 minutes), and made 1(Miami library), 2(NEO Federal Credit Union), 3(McDonald's for some sweet tea), 4(Arvest Bank) stops. Then I drove to Commerce (10 minutes) and dropped off our taxes. Then, I drove home (1 hour from Commerce). By the time I got home, it was 3:00 in the afternoon! So much for morning errands, they kind of turned into afternoon errands.
Oh, and I went back to Grove for church tonight. I don't enjoy days like that. Especially when they happen on my only day off the whole week. Oh, well (my most common phrase). I'll be getting a better pay check next week, at least.
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On to the good news. I made a 90% on my Psychology research paper on teen sexuality. I was very disappointed, actually. It turned out that I made a big mistake on my reference page and I'm not even sure what the correct way to do it is. The one page I didn't send and/or give to be critiqued and it's the one page that was totally wrong. Here it comes again. Oh, well. It's still an A, but, so far this year, it's the lowest grade I've made.
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I also found out that my book box has another week before it's due. Hopefully, I won't need that extra week and I will have the whole thing done by the original due date, the 17th. If I have it in a week early, does that make me an over achiever? I'm not normally like that, but I'm trying to change, and quit being such a procrastinator. The fact that I just took our taxes in today and that they will probably be filed with an extension is testament that I'm not completely reformed yet.
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Yikes, it's 10:33 and I'm still up! What's the matter with me? I have to be at work by 7:00 tomorrow morning, which means I have to leave around 6:30 which means I have to get up at 5:00 to beat Mike to the shower. Fun, fun, fun. Being the first one there means I should be the first one to leave. I should be getting off work by 3:30 when all the slew of high school girls come in. Maybe I'll get some laundry done when I get home, since none of it got done today. It's too bad we can't figure out a way to do laundry at night without having to stay up to do it. All those wasted hours spent sleeping when the dirty laundry stays put in the hampers. I need a robot. Or more money so I could send all my laundry to the cleaners and they could do it when I'm sleeping or working or whatever. Yep, my ultimate goal, to make enough money to hire a maid. They could do the laundry, I could do the cooking, they could do the cleaning up, I could do the eating. That sounds fair, right? It does to me. That's all that counts.
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Good night, sweet princes & princesses.

Yay, Me!

As London would say.
I got my Psych paper turned in yesterday! I was so dang excited to be the first one to hand a paper in. I wish I could have taken a picture of her face when I handed it to her. Completely satisfying for me, I must say.
Okay, now that I have that out of the way, it's time to hunker down and finish my book box for Children's Lit. I'm still at 22 out of 50. I haven't done any since last Tuesday when I worked my buns off at the library waiting for class to start, only to walk to class and find that it was canceled. That was a bummer. But, I'm pretty sure we have class tonight, because I saw the instructor walk in the building.
Well, kiddos, I'm going to go to class. It better be worth my time tonight. Stinkin' boring class. I hate that because I paid good money for it.
Laters!

I'm Home

I can gab on and on if I want to. No clock ticking to 9:00 and time for class.
I got my research paper done, sort of. The biggest part is done. I emailed it off to get looked over and critiqued, which she was quick to do so I could get to work on the final draft (thank you so much!!!!!) I also took a printed copy of that first draft to Shael's youth leader, but he won't be back home until late tonight, so he probably won't take a look at it until Monday at the earliest, and I want it handed in Monday morning at 9:00. Tomorrow at church, I might have to tell him that if he doesn't have time to look at it on Easter Sunday, then not to mess with it because after Monday, it would be too late. In fact, I don't even know when I'm going to squeeze in the time to go print up the final draft. It's not like I can do that here at home. I have to go elsewhere to use a different computer. This set up is going to have to change for next semester. I don't want to have to go through this with every paper I write. Not to mention all Shael's papers. What I need is a lap top to be able to use out at my Grandma's house on Easter so I can say I was technically there, even if I wasn't there mentally.
*
Shael had a cousin over again last night. This time it was Shayna. Sarah's big sister. They've had a real good time. They stayed up late last night, Shael later than Shayna, of course, she is such a night owl. And now, for the past 30 minutes or so, Shayna has been sleeping in the living room floor and Shael's patiently sitting on the love seat waiting for her wake up. She got more sleep than Shael and she's already taking a nap? Ha!
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I stayed in the bedroom most of the night last night with my door locked so they couldn't tromp through any ole time they felt like it. Preteen girls are a sight. Farting and laughing and telling the other one to light a match. If there wasn't so much giggling going on, it would be like having boys in the house. The fart smell was another reason why I kept my bedroom door locked. If I was going to smell a fart, it was going to be mine, by golly.
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I got Shael's pictures taken Thursday afternoon and I cannot wait to see them. I know they are going to turn out beautiful and I'd better save up to buy some. There's one in particular I'm looking forward to seeing. My friend Valerie was standing there watching and said "She looks just like her Daddy," and when she said that, Shael crossed her arms and gave her this pouty look with her lips all puckered up and the lady snapped a picture at the exact moment. It's going to be classic!
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I think it's so funny when people see Shael and I together now. Especially if we are standing side by side. They get this surprised look on their face and say "Why, she's taller than you, isn't she?" Hello? Where've you been? Pictures taken of the three of us now need to be with me in the front with Mike and Shael in the back. Instead of Shael in front with each of her parents placing a hand on her shoulder. That pose is long gone. History.
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Shael being so tall is such a contrast to her cousin Shayna. Shayna is 11 but is so short, she could pass for an 8 year old. Her Mom is only 5'1", so she probably won't be too tall, but as of now, she's little. Her grandparents, who are raising her, said it's from the medicine she's taken for ADHD, or ADD, whatever you want to call it. It has stunted her growth. I had to make her take her pill this morning and it wasn't long after that that she fell asleep. I wonder if it was the late night or that pill that knocked her out. I'll have to ask her when she wakes up.
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Well, my Internet connection just booted me, so I'd better save this and try to get back on so I can publish. Have a very safe and happy Easter!

Hey

To answer the question of what I was doing that was so fun and kept me up all night. Nothing fun, I assure you. I really wasn't doing anything. I went to bed around 11:00 and was still awake at midnight when Mike came rolling in. We ended up talking for a while because he opened up some old wounds and I cried for a couple hours. When I finally dried up, I still couldn't sleep so I got up and did some work on my project for Children's Lit. At 4:00 when my eyes felt like the entire western sea coast was attacking them, I went to bed. Only to lay there with my eyes unable to shut again for another thirty minutes. I finally started praying for some help down here with sleep and was asleep within 15 minutes. I guess I should have done that to start with.
I got frustrated with the work I'd done on my project. I worked on it for 1-1/2 hours and got only 4 cards done. That really discouraged me to think that if it took that long to do 4, how much longer was it going to take me to the remaining 46?
Tuesday, I worked at the library for a couple of hours on it and now I've got 22 done. I'm almost half way! Yay! Today after class, I'm going to go home and hopefully get my Psych research paper finished. I'm about half way through with the body of it and the other parts I don't think will take as much time. I want to finish it today, print it out and hand it in to a guy at church to proof read it for me. I might take it all the way in to town tonight to his house and ask him to look it over for me as soon as possible. I know Easter is Sunday and he might not have the time to do it then. I definitely want to turn it in Monday. The sooner I get that thing turned in, the sooner I can concentrate on that Children's Lit project. I have got to get them done!
It's that time again. Gotta go to class.
See ya!

It's Been A While

I've been busy. When I'm home, I'm trying to work on either my research paper or my book box for Children's Lit. Both are going slow, but at least they are going. Only a couple more weeks left to work on them, they'd better speed up!
*
I took Shael to the mall Saturday to pick out an Easter outfit. I thought she'd end up with slacks again, but she surprised me and picked out a skirt with a matching top. They look very nice on her, which surprised me also, because skirts and her don't usually go together. But, she looks good. I noticed the difference between my daughter and my sister's kids after we bought her outfit. The total came to a little bit over $50 and she was so worried about it that she immediately wanted me to take it back. "It's too expensive, Mama" she kept telling me. I told her not to worry about it, it wasn't that big of a deal. My sister's kid's (no offense, Roni) probably wouldn't blink an eye over spending $50 on an Easter outfit. I'm not saying they're rich snobs, or anything, but I know where their favorite stores are, and they aren't cheap! Shael's favorite pair of pants right now came from Family Dollar and I so can't see any of her kids wearing anything from Family Dollar. It's the Wilkinson influence. I'm telling you!
*
Sunday, I left church a little early and Mike came and picked me up an we went on a ride. ON OUR NEW HARLEY! Last Wednesday we went to Miami and bought a 2002 Harley Davidson. It's one of those big ones with a back rest fit for a La-Z-Boy. But, on Sunday, we drove down to the Ozark National Forest in Arkansas and did some riding with a group of 6 other bikes. We had lots of fun. We went through Devil's Den State Park and drove around a bit after we left there. On the way home we drove over to Talequah and came home that twisty, windey road.
By the time Mike let me off at my car at the church it was almost 7:00 and time for church again. I felt really worn out by then, so when Mom got there with Shael, we went on home instead of staying for church. When I saw myself in the mirror at the church, I was horrified! I looked way worse than I felt. No wonder people kept asking me if I was okay. LOL. My face was sun burned, my eyes bloodshot, my hair was a tangled mess because Mike forgot my helmet. I'd had only 2-1/2 hours of sleep the night before so I was dog tired. I knew I felt like my legs were made out of lead and I was having a hard time moving one in front of the other to take steps, but I had no idea I looked so bad. Like hammered dog crap, as Mike would say.
So I went home, took a shower, painstakingly got the tangles out of my hair, slathered cream all over my face, and went to bed. All by 7:45. Shael asked to make cookies and I told her yes, unless she wanted my help because I was going to bed. I heard Mike come in at 8:30, but went back to sleep. I didn't hear another thing until I woke up at 3:00 a.m. to go to the bathroom. I still felt pretty tired the next morning when I got up. And my hair. Oh, my poor hair. It was so dry. Since I'd washed it and let it dry naturally, it was all wavy and fly away. I went ahead and went to school looking like that. I'm sure I didn't look much better than I did the night before. But at least it didn't look greasy and tangled.
From class I had to go on to work. In the baby room, no less, so I didn't have a break all day. I worked on the floor (with the 3 and 4 year olds) yesterday, so at least I got some kind of break when they took a nap. I spent the whole time working on my stupid book cards for Children's Lit.
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I am going to go home now. I've really got to work on that paper. No work today, so here I go. Knowing me, I will clean the house just to get away from working on that paper. Now that's pretty bad.