4 Days In A Row

I'm getting a 4 day weekend...woo-hoo! I'm so excited, baby.

After 15 pounds, the place I've noticed the change most is in my wedding rings. My pants are getting looser, also. Why, oh, why, can't I feel the difference in my bra or my shirts? But, my rings are sliding around like crazy. During the day when my boss has it freezing in my room, my rings almost fall off my finger.

Mike went off to a bike rally for they weekend. He left while I was still at work and won't be home until Sunday sometime. He kind of hurt my feelings, but oh, well, I'll get over it. He didn't ask me if I wanted to go. Not that I would have gone, but it still would have been nice to be asked. It was as if he couldn't wait to get away from me after paying his dues with me last weekend. I'm so going to make him pay for this. And as early as Tuesday when he gets to spend aaaalllll day with not only me and Shael but my whole family. heh heh I'm talking Mom, Daddy, Brother, Sister, their respective kiddos, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and even good old Great-Gran. Sweet revenge.

MMM...Cookies

I would so love to be like Cookie Monster right now and dive into a heap of chocolate chip cookies. If only I could really be like Cookie Monster and not have a single crumb actually go down my throat.

On the up side, I've lost another five pounds, which brings my total to 15. I now weigh 180 instead of 195. I've still got such a long way to go. I want to lose it as quick as I gained it. Fifty pounds in three months would be nice. That's how fast I gained it. Then over the years I slowly gained another 20 pounds, like most women do, not all, but most. But most women don't have that FIFTY extra pounds to begin with. I think I would be happy and satisfied to lose the 50 pounds. That would put me at 145 lbs. Still overweight for my height, but I would be thrilled. And if I lose more, wonderful. If not, I'm still okay with that. I've already lost 15 of it, so, only 35 more pounds to go. That doesn't sound so bad, does it?

Who Me?

Mike called me a poop stain last night when I told him I've been doing my laundry at night so I don't have to get up in the mornings until 8:00. Then this morning, he didn't even tell me bye! Poop stain.

Update

I have lost 10 pounds. Every morning when I get up I immediately go weigh myself. When I get home in the evenings, I strip my clothes off and weigh myself. 10 pounds. Yay, me!

The disgusting part is, Mike lost 10 pounds in two days. Grrr.

Here's the pie that Mike ate. While I sat looking out the window trying to concentrate on the view. It really wasn't too hard.

Not sure if you can even see this picture well. It doesn't look good on my computer. But the pictures turned out good when I had them printed out. That's Mt. Kiamichi.

The Rest Of The Story

Saturday, after getting out of that HORRIBLY BORING workshop, Mike and I made it out of Miami around 3:15. We didn't stop until West Silome Springs, OK around 4:30. I had to use the bathroom and get something to drink. From West Silome we drove until Sallisaw where I just had to stop and stretch my legs a little bit. Then we went on until Potoeu where we stopped at a Braum's to eat. Mike ate his hamburger and shake while I ate my raw carrots and caulifower. Yummy! While we were there he called his cousin, Matt, who lives not far from where we were going to be staying. He was going to ask him if he wanted to come out to our cabin but Matt was on his way home from Tulsa where he'd spent the day taking tests and had just started home. He was still quite a ways off, so that visit didn't happen. Thank goodness, because I really didn't care to spend my anniversary trip with his cousin, I don't care how nice the guy is. When Mike told him that we'd come down on the bike Matt said "Bicycle?" We're like 250 miles away from home, NO we didn't come down that day on a bicycle! I got to laughing about it later and Mike said "Yeah, that would be like the Tour de get-five-miles-away-from-the-house-and-call-someone-to-come-pick-yer-ass-up"

But, I digress. From Potoeu, we drove until Heavner and we stopped to call the campground to find out how to get there. Turns out the campground wasn't really in Heavner, but on further south. We finally made it around 7:45 and the lady showed us around and then left us alone. We took the bag off the bike and kind of settled in a bit and Mike asked if I wanted to take a quick trip up the mountain to look around before the sun went down. Sure! We just got off the bike after several hours of riding, why not jump right back on and drive some more. But, I'd walked around enough that the stiffness was pretty much worked out, so off we went. Right across the highway from the campgrounds there were these vegetable gardens. Huge suckers. As we pulled out, I said "Who would plant gardens way out here?". It was a wide valley with tall pines on the campground side of the highway and open field on the other side. There was this big building surrounded by smaller buildings on the other side of the highway, but they were situated way back off the road and the gardens were not too far from the road, not close by any means, but closer than the buildings. We got up to the driveway to those buildings and read the sign. Oklahoma Department Of Corrections. OMG! We were staying right across the highway from a prison! I had to laugh. How rich. The ad in the magazine didn't say anything about that. So, up the mountain we went. Talk about a breathtaking sight. The sun was setting and it was gorgeous. We went about five miles of the scenic route then turned around and came back. It was completely dark by the time we got back to the cabin.

When we got back, we both took showers, then both hopped in the hot tub. I don't think a hot tub ever felt that good. The lady had turned it on for us when Mike called so it was all heated up and ready for us when we got there. We stayed in it for about 20 minutes, then Mike had to take another shower because he was all hot and sweaty again from that hot water. It was pretty hot, but I didn't bother taking another shower. I just went to bed. The cabin had a toilet and a sink in it, but we had to go to the bath house for a shower and the hot tub. No big deal, it was only about 20 feet away.

The next morning I got up a little past 8:30 (totally sleeping in for me) and we were on the road by 9:00. We drove on a road called Holson Valley Road, which is exactly that. A road that is completely in a valley at the foot of the mountains. It took us to the highway that leads to the beginning of the scenic route. The Talimena Scenic Drive was just unbelievable. The whole time I knew that these mountains could in no way ever compare with the Rockies or even the Smokies, they were still very, very beautiful. Today I kept thinking "Yesterday I was on top of these wonderful mountains and today I'm at work." The drive was so exciting I kept wanting to burst out in song, or something, to show how much fun I was having. It was wonderful!

We stopped at scenic overlook after scenic overlook until we were finally scenic overlooked out. We thought there were 13 and we kept stopping and stopping until we realized there were, in fact, 33 of them. Only 13 of them were "interpretive stops" where they have signs up telling you about what you are looking at. We finally stopped at 23. That was enough, we felt.

We stopped at the Arkansas' Queen Wilhelmina State Park and Mike ate the buffet the restaurant offered. The people who happened to be taking the drive on their bikes the same time we were stopped at the same places we stopped at the almost the same times. We got to talking with them here and there, Mike doing most of the talking while I was doing all of the picture taking. When Mike was polishing off the last of his meal, a waitress comes over to us with a slice of this sinfully delicious looking pie and sings "Happy Anniversary to You" in the Happy Birthday tune. Then she finishes it off with "In a couple of daaaaayyyyssss!" That's when I thought she had the wrong table because our anniversary had been the Wednesday before. So I asked her. "Do you have the wrong table?" and she took a step back and to the side and dramatically swooshed her arm back and pointed, saying "Nope, those people over there sent this" and it was those nice people we'd been "traveling" with. They were grinning ear to ear and laughing and waving at us. How nice was that? I wish that I would have gotten a picture of them, because they were the roughest looking biker people you've ever seen. Well, maybe not that you EVER seen, but they definitely looked the part. I have discovered that biker people are their own brand of people. That part I already knew. But, what I didn't know was that they are, for the most part, some of the nicest people you'll ever meet.

When we finally made it down the mountain and off the Talimena Scenic Drive, we started heading back north to get back home. But, we had two more scenic trails to take before we got there. The next one was up Mt. Magazine. Right before we went up, I told Mike to stop because I wanted my rain suit on. I could tell it was going to rain and I didn't want to get soaked. He stopped and we both put ours on and while we were putting on the finishing touches, it opened up and poured. It rained so hard we couldn't even look around and see anything. Mike had to keep his eyes straight ahead to see where he was going. Once we got to the top, all the rained stopped. We got off at the scenic lookout and I took some pictures of the rain that you could still see below us. It was amazing. That storm lasted about 10 minutes. On the other side of the mountain, the sky was blue with big puffy white clouds. And it was like that the rest of the drive home. I finally took my rain suit off at Ozark, Mike had taken his off at the top of the mountain. I was still kind of cold so I left mine on. By Ozark, though, I was smothering and couldn't wait to peel that sucker off.

From Ozark, we got on The Pig Trail. I finally got to ride The Pig Trail. It was very beautiful, too. It was more of a viney type green instead of pines, like the Talimena Trail. It didn't have that delicious smell of pines, but it was still gorgeous. I actually prefer the viney look. That twisty trail only lasted a few miles, we didn't have time to drive the rest of the way, it goes on up to Eureka Springs, but we turned to go toward Fayetteville instead.

By the time we got to Fayetteville, we were both extremely tired and worn out. Ready to get home and in bed, in other words. Mike decided to take us on the dreaded Interstate. The quickest way home, but also the quickest way to get beat half to death by the relentless wind that all Interstates offer to bike riders. The few miles between Fayetteville and Bentonville were the roughest and hardest of the whole entire trip. We stopped about a mile from the Missouri state line and put our helmets on (MO state law) and came home through Pineville, Lanagan, and Anderson. When we got home, we walked in the house and fairly collapsed on the bed. By the time the alarm went off this morning, both of us were wishing for more sleep. But, noooo, off to work, off to work.

Everything went great, no mishaps, no anything going wrong. It was perfect. We are going back in the fall, only this time we have to take the gang. Yay. So, Roni, if you and Kelly want to go, that would be great. I'd have someone to talk to. :)

What A Weekend

I am so tired I think I could sleep a week. But, what an awesome weekend. I am not using the term "awesome" lightly, either. It was truly wonderful. I only got one picture of me and Mike together, and it was taken by this woman who at first had the camera turned around backwards, if that's any indication how the picture turned out. I asked her if she would take our picture and she said sure then looked through the view finder and kept backing up and backing up until I finally said something. "Aren't you a little far away? We going to be dots in this picture if you get any further away!" Then Mike whispered in my ear "She has the camera turned around backwards" so I told her and when she turned it around, she went "OH! No wonder!" and started getting closer and closer then. But she still didn't get as close as I would have liked. When taking pictures of people, I like to get close and let the back ground be the back ground and not the main focus of the picture. She even said "I took two, just in case" but when I looked through all my pictures, she only took one. I guess I should just be glad she took the one. Even if Mike and I look like we are a mile away from her.
I don't have time to post about the whole weekend, I'll try to do that tonight. After putting 605 miles on the bike, I want to rest as much as possible, but I want to post as soon as possible while it is still fresh on my mind. Right now, I've gotta go to work. Bummer.

Another Song Lyric?

Please don't think I'm strange with all these song lyrics. Grief is still a big part of my life, but I believe I'm working through it, though. These songs help.

I'm Not Alright
by Sanctus Real

If weakness is a wound

That no one wants to speak of

Then “cool” is just how far we have to fall

I am not immune

I only want to be loved

But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need to impress?

If you want the truth, I need to confess

I’m not alright

I’m broken inside, broken inside

And all I go through

It leads me to you, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride

Bring me to my weakness

Until everything I hide behind is gone

And when I’m open wide

With nothing left to cling to

Only you are there to lead me on

Cause honestly, I’m not that strong

I’m not alright

I’m broken inside, broken inside

And all I go through

It leads me to you, it leads me to you

And I move, and I move, and I move...closer to you

And I move, and I move, and I move...closer to you

And I move, and I move, and I move...closer to you

And I move, and I move, and I move...

I’m not alrightI’m broken inside, broken inside

broken inside, broken inside

And all I go through

Leads me to you, leads me to you

I’m not alright, I’m not alright, I’m not alright...that’s why I need you

Glad We Have Walgreen's

Have you seen that commercial for Walgreen's where the lady gives her husband an anniversary card and he stammers around a bit then says "Well, uh, I was going to get you a card. I thought of it, I really did"? Then the lady wraps her arms around him and says "I LOVE YOU!" The announcer guy then does his voice over and says "Because it's not always the thought that counts". You know where I'm going with this, don't you? Yesterday I made Mike this cute little anniversary card and when I gave it to him, he said "Oh, I was going to buy you some flowers, but when I stopped at the florist, she'd closed at 4:00"
My first thought, was, "There's only one florist around?" but I immediately chastised myself over that selfish thought. Who needs flowers? Not me, especially since he's taking me away for the weekend. That was what I really wanted, so flowers didn't mean a whole lot this time. Not to say I wouldn't have enjoyed them had I got them.
I have this stupid workshop that I have to go to Saturday, but as soon as it's over, we are out of the county. Almost out of the state. I'm going to catch a ride to the workshop with Linda and Mike is going to pick me up directly from the workshop. It's in Miami, is over at 3:00, and required. I hope, at least, that it's a good one and not boring. I know I'll be chomping at the bit to get out of there, anyway. We are taking the bike down south to the Kiamichi Mountains and staying in a cabin near Talihina and on Sunday we'll take a drive through the Talimena Scenic Drive all the way to Mena, Arkansas. All of this is part of the Ouachita National Forrest. I'm so excited I can hardly stand myself. Mike even bought a new bag to go on the bike so we can take all kinds of stuff now. I feel like I'm just marking time until 3:00 Saturday afternoon.

*******************
Shael is going off to camp today when she gets out of summer school. It's been going on since Monday, but since she had school, she couldn't go for the first part of the week. She's going to be there all through today, spend the night tonight, all day tomorrow (Friday), spend the night Friday night then I'm going to go early to pick her up Saturday morning before I have to go to the workshop. I'll take her to my Mom's and she'll spend the night with my Mom Saturday night and get up early and go to the Dinwiddie Family Reunion in beautiful Kansas City, MO. Actually it will be somewhere near Blue Springs, but close enough to KC for us to call it that. DAWG GONE, Mike and I will miss that. Instead of KC, we'll be heading the opposite direction. I better not hear any lip about that, either, or I will give some lip right back. I'm prepared.

Shael is saying that she won't go unless her cousin, Sydney, goes. But, I have news for her. She's going one way or another. I don't care is Syd doesn't go, Shael is still going. She's nervous and a little scared because she doesn't know if she'll know anyone. It's for Tribal members between the ages of 11 and 14. They are going to have so many fun things for them to do, I wish I could go. Horse back riding being the main thing Shael wants to do. But they'll have archery, culture classes, swimming, the "blob". Like that big thing on the movie "Heavy Weights". When she heard about that she went "COOOOLLL!!" She was up getting ready before 5:00 this morning. I think she's a little bit excited.
The only thing, I have to take off work to go pick her up from school, take her to the camp, then come back to work. Not a good day for this since we'll be understaffed as it is. Oh, well! Maybe there won't be a whole lot of kids. I know I'll have my two, and I'm going to really try to get them to take their naps at the time I have to leave so they won't be any trouble for someone to watch.

I'd better skidaddle. I'm going in an hour early today and I almost forgot! I'd better hustle, huh?

Happy Anniversary To Me!

Thirteen years ago today I was bawling my eyes out because I'd started my period on my wedding day. My maid of honor kept telling me that it was okay because we had the rest of our lives to have sex. True, but it made for a crappy honeymoon.
Our wedding day, let's see if I have as many vivid memories of it as I did my sister's. It was a perfect day. My best friend/maid of honor and I stayed up late talking in bed the night before but I still wasn't tired when I got up that morning. It was amazing that I even slept at all. After discovering good old Aunt Flo, I called Mike to tell him but his little brother wouldn't let me talk to him. So, I relayed the message. HA! Sixteen year old Chevy had to relay the message that I'd started my period. I know his face must've been beet red because he's so bashful about "woman" things. I heard Mike in the back ground saying "She did? Oh, well, that's okay." That's when I figured if it wasn't going to ruin Mike's day I wasn't going to let it ruin mine.
After getting dressed and ready to go to town, my maid of honor (MOH) and I went to Miami and picked up the wedding cake. We took my sister's van and folded down the middle seat to accommodate it. I can't remember if we took it straight to the church or if we took it home first.

That afternoon was spent getting our hair and make up done. My sister did everybody's hair and my Mom did everybody's make up. There was my MOH, my Diva friend (did you get your hair and make up done, seems like it), the girl who sang, the lady who played the piano, my Grandma's usual old lady do without the make up, my sister, my Mom, and of course me. It wasn't until after the wedding that Mike told me that his Mom was crying because she couldn't get her hair to do anything that I felt like a complete and total jerk for not thinking about his side of the family in the hair and make up department. I don't know why I didn't think of it, they couldn't have easily done her. I did apologize, and hugged her (which is their custom, not mine).

I don't even remember how I got to the church. Who did I ride with? My sister? My parents? My MOH? I know I didn't drive because I left in Mike's car and I didn't have to leave my car there. I probably rode with my MOH.

Once at the church, I realized I'd left my hoop at home. I started panicking thinking I wouldn't have it but a nice lady from Wyandotte who was coming to the wedding anyway, said she would stop by and pick it up and she did. In hind sight, I wish I hadn't worn the stupid thing anyway because in almost all my wedding pictures you can see the hoop at the bottom of the dress.

Before walking down the aisle, I was so nervous I was shaking. Standing in that little room in the back with my Dad and MOH, I was a bundle of nerves. Someone came to the room and said "It's 5:00! We're starting!" The rest of the wedding party was standing out in the hall and they all went in at 5:00 sharp. First Mike and his best man, then my brother escorted my Mom in, then Mike's brother escorted his Mom in. Then my brother escorted my grandma and Mike's his grandma. Then it was time for Emily and Luke, my flower girl and ring bearer. They had to have a little coaxing from my sister about halfway down the aisle, but they did good after that. Then my MOH. Then it was just me and Daddy in that little room and I really got nervous. Not about being married, but about screwing up the ceremony in front of all those people! I had a death grip on Daddy's arm and he reached up with his other hand and said "Just breath." And we walked out.

I am not lying when I say here that my thoughts went something like this "Oh, look at Annette and Shannon, they're dressed in my wedding colors, how sweet! There's Mike's mean, old, ugly grandpa and his equally old and ugly girlfriend. Why are part of my family sitting on Mike's family's side? It totally sucks that I'm wearing white granny panties under my wedding dress. I hope this pad makes it through the ceremony. Ahhh, there's Mike. In a tux! I'm getting married!!!!!!"

When it was all said and done and we were the first out in the hall way, Mike grabbed me up and whirled me around and gave me a real kiss, not a staged one like we'd just done. Just a small private moment before the rest of the wedding party came around the corner. And here they came and we spent the next 30 minutes or so standing in the reception line shaking hands and hugging necks of people we wouldn't remember were there until we watched the video and looked at the guest book.

We were rushed to the back to hurry up and cut the cake, drink our toxic waste looking punch (it was fluorescent green, no joke) and open up the mountain of presents. Mike was opening some, I was opening some and my MOH was furiously writing them down. (Thanks, MOH! I don't think I've told you that enough)

Then it was picture time. I grabbed a chicken wing on my way out of the reception room. Which was a good thing because when we got back from taking pictures, the buffet looked like a herd of cattle or wild pigs had come through and there was not one crumb of food left. Not ONE CRUMB! And there was tons of food! Chicken wings, baby quiche, fruit tray, veggie tray, meat tray, cheese tray, not to mention the cake, punch, and mints. One of Mom's customer's had given me, as a wedding present, hand made wedding mints from Richardson's Candy House. I didn't even get to try one. They were beautiful, though. They were about the size of a quarter, pale green and peach, and shaped like a leaf, complete with the leaf pattern on the top of them. I heard they were delicious, I'll have to take their word for it.

When we finally got to leave, we were both starving and stopped at the Filling Station in South West City, MO, and got heat 'em and eat 'em burritos. Yum! The next wedding I'm involved in, I'm going to make a point to make a plate for the bride and groom before the masses come through the line so they can make sure and have something left for them when they get done with all their picture duties.

We spent our wedding night in Eureka Springs, Arkansas in an expensive Best Western. But it had a magnificent view off the private balcony. The next morning, we drove over to the Onyx Cave and after that, Mike announced to me that we were heading to New Orleans. I was so surprised, and happy. The trip didn't turn out at all like we had hoped and Mike had planned. But that's a story for another day.

Run Poker Run

Let me tell y'all about my first experience with a Poker Run. I like the riding to the different stops, I like the card drawing, but I don't care much for staying at each stop for a red beer or two. Once again, the Lord took care of us. I watched as each waitress would pour Mike's beer. I watched closely as she poured nearly four inches of tomato juice in a mug or cup or whatever each place offered, then pour about two or three inches of beer on top. I'm thinking Mike got maybe 12 ounces of beer the whole day out of four beers. I thought that was pretty good....hee hee. 12 oz of Oklahoma beer is about like 8 oz of Missouri beer, which is what he usually drinks. At one point, he even mentioned that it tasted like he was drinking V-8. "That's just God taking care of your dumb ass" is what I wanted to say, but what actually came out of my mouth was "Oh, really?".

We left our house at 6:23 a.m., Mike driving the bike, and me in my car. I stopped at Wyandotte and got some gas in my car then went on over to Mike's parents' house. I left my car there when Mike picked me up around 7:20. We made it to the big fancy casino, aka Buffalo Run, by 7:30 a.m. and it started to rain. But no worries, we had our rain suits on, we'd seen the big gray clouds and put on our rain suits at his parents' house. We got registered and everything squared away and we still had over an hour before the first bike could take off. So, what else is there to do? We went and ate, I was hungry and breakfast had been promised to me at 6:00. My cousin, Mitchell and his woman went with us to the Townsman and ate a big breakfast so we could be nice and uncomfortable for the first leg of the ride.

From Buffalo Run in Miami, we drove to Royal Bay in Grove. I drew a Queen of Hearts. Not too bad of a start. From there we went to Spavinaw and I drew a 10 of Diamonds. It just went down hill from there. I don't even remember what I drew at Langly or Vinita, the next two stops. At the last stop in Miami, I drew a deuce of Spades. As soon as we left Miami, the rain stopped and held off until we returned to Miami.

Mike and I went to El Charro and ate around 4:30, the first food I'd had since breakfast. On our way to eat, the rain came down in bucket loads. Bucket. Loads. While we were eating, the rain stopped again. I was so glad, too because I was starting to get a little cold. On our way back to the casino, Mike and I saw.....dum da da duummmmmm......a tornado. Yes. We saw a real tornado. I've lived here my whole entire life, almost 33 years now, and this was the first tornado I've ever seen. We were on 22nd street, heading east, when I looked over to the north and said "Is that smoke?" We stopped and watched it and it wasn't smoke, that's for sure.

After finding out that we didn't win squat, and looking at every single vendor, we went inside to spend our $10 in free play. We didn't win squat with that either, and while we were inside, the rain really started coming down. We only thought it was coming down hard earlier. It was coming down so hard that the entire parking lot was ankle deep in water and we couldn't see from one end of the casino to the other. Yep, we drove off on the bike in that down pour. I didn't have far to go, just to Mike's Mom's house. But, poor Mike, he had to drive all the way home. Thank goodness, when he got a few miles out of Miami, the rain stopped and it hadn't even rained at all from Wyandotte on home. Flash flood conditions and dry dust just 10 miles away from each other. How typically Oklahoma.

Hello World

Day Two of the life changing experience. Day One consisted of soup and fruit. Day Two consists of soup and veggies. Cranberry juice, unsweetened tea (practically unheard of in this house, but not anymore) and of course water are all acceptable drinks. The cranberry juice seems way less tart this morning than it did last night. It had me puckering up last night but this morning, it felt cool and refreshing on my tongue. Hmmm. Weird. I drink just about everything through a straw because of my sensitive teeth, and this morning when I was half way through my glass of iced cranberry juice, I saw a bug. Trapped in an ice cube. Yeah. A nice little gnat, frozen in time. Oh, well, I went ahead and finished my juice, but didn't suck on the cubes when I was done.

Guess I better be getting myself around. I'm taking Shael in to school this morning and I haven't even taken a shower yet. I forgot I was taking her and did two loads of laundry instead of just one. Now I probably won't have much hot water for my shower. At least that'll make me hurry up, right? Whatever it takes to get me motivated.

I Can Hardly Weight

I am going to throw all caution to the wind and tell you all something most women hide, even from themselves. My weight. You may wonder why I'm going to tell to the whole Internet world something so private. It's because I'm going to try to shed some lb's and I thought maybe public humiliation might be a little motivator. I weigh....drumroll please.....195 pounds. Yikes! I'm almost a duce! Holy Moley. I'll get a picture posted on here sometime for a before pic.

I'm doing this for Mike and Shael. But mostly for myself. I'm tired of being fat and I'm not getting any younger, that's for sure. Also, I'm Indian. Or Native American, whatever. Diabetes and heart disease are very prevalent in the Indian race and I see myself heading in that direction if I don't take action now. So, I'm taking action.

I'm not the big fitness type person, like my sister. And I'm not a big heath food nut like other people I know. I like bread, and Dr. Pepper and all kinds of chocolate yummies. The Lord has been dealing with me about this for some time now, but nothing seems right. I don't want to try the latest diet fad, and I don't want to take pills or have surgery. So, when this guy came to our Camp Meeting and talked about weight loss, I knew it was God speaking to me again. I'm going to be following, not just a diet, but a new way to eat. What do I have to lose but the weight? Here goes, wish me luck.

P.S.

Oh, yes, we slept with conditioned air last night. In fact, Mike froze me and Shael out until we complained enough for him to go turn the thermostat up about 10 degrees. He had it set for 65! Shael's hair was still wet when she went to go to bed. She opened up her bedroom door and I bet you could see cold steam boiling out of there if you looked for it. It was like opening up a freezer door. I had blankets piled up on top of me and I would doze off and Mike would wake me up saying "This is so awesome!" And he'd say it in his best Jeff Spicoli imitation. I felt like turning over and saying "Is Mr. Hand going to have to tell you to shut up so your wife can stay asleep?"

Big Fancy Casino Poker Run

Mike and I took off for Commerce, OK (I would say the armpit of OK, but that's reserved for Picher, sorry all you chat rats. Mike calls Commerce "Beaner Town" because of all the, well, you know. The legal and illegal sort reside in Beaner Town). Mike rode his bike and I followed in my car Tuesday night. He dropped his bike off at a place called Bike & Go ( I think that's the name of it) to get his new tire put on. It has to be ready to go by tonight or we are going to be ticked off. Why? Because after we left Beaner Town, we stopped off at the Big Fancy Casino. Once there, we bought two tickets for the Buffalo Run Poker Run. At $40 a ticket, you can see why we would be mad if the bike wasn't ready to go. Big & Rich are going to be there, but we aren't interested in them (I'd rather ride a horse), only the Poker Run. Riding with over a thousand other bikes. Sounds a little scary and intimidating, but Mike is stoked. He told me we were going to go see some extreme bikers to get me to agree to go. Then, I found out once I had already agreed, that it was a Poker Run. Sometimes I think he can play me better than I can play him. I'll have to fix that.

So, tomorrow, I will be gone. All. Day. This time I'm slathering up in so much sun screen you'll be able to smell me a mile away.

While we were there buying our tickets Tuesday night (Men's night, btw) we decided to eat there. We'd never eaten there and we'd heard the food was good at the "Coleman Theater". We had just sat down when my sister and her husband walk in with two other couples. I was half way expecting to see Diva, or even Mr. Diva. Or maybe Diva Mom and Sister Diva (Tater). I even thought I might see an old flame from high school. But, I didn't expect to see my sister. We did a little bit of gambling, not a whole lot. We went to the back, in Joe's Outback (much nicer and less crowded) and I lost some money and Mike won some.

I need to get going. I have to go in to Grove and buy a cake for Valerie's birthday today. I was going to bake one, a chocolate one, but when I started getting everything out to do it, I noticed I only had about 3 TBS of cocoa and I needed 6. Screw that idea, I'll just go buy one. At least I didn't have stuff already mixed up in a bowl before realizing that.

I'll report how the Poker Run goes. I hope I don't embarrass myself. I'll keep my mouth shut, maybe that'll help. Better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Dang, It's Hot

Yay! Rejoice! We are finally, after living here for 5-1/2 years, getting central air. Goody, goody. We've had central heat, but have had to use a window unit in the summer. Man, it's too expensive to get the central a/c. But, thanks to the tribe (yes, they can be helpful sometimes, even if it's full of idiots) we were able to get it taken care of this year. It's still hot in here because the guys are still here installing it. Young, sweaty, shirtless guys. Even better! I'm hoping that we sleep cool tonight.

Yesterday morning before I went to work, I went to the casino and cashed in my $300 in chips. I played and lost $40 in about an hour, then went to my bank and deposited $220 in to my checking account. I kept the rest in cash. Tonight when I got off work, I went back there and played a penny machine for about 30 minutes. I was only going to play with $10 and if I lost it I would leave, but if I doubled it I would cash out. And I doubled it and cashed out. Mike keeps teasing me telling me that I'm addicted. I easily could be, I'm not denying that. But, I'm too tight to be addicted. I'd rather spend all my money on something else.

Shael took a ride on the four wheeler earlier and crashed it! When she first wanted to ride it Mike made her wear her motorcycle helmet and she was bitching about it. He told her "helmet, or no riding". I went down the driveway with her once then got off and came in the house. I had gone to the bathroom and I heard one of the shirtless guys tell Mike that she'd turned the 4 wheeler over at the end of the driveway. I finished and rushed outside in time to see her park the 4 wheeler at the house and Mike standing there talking to her. She turned it over and she got her foot caught under it but she was able to push it back up on all four wheels and drive it back to the house. She skinned her knee up and her hands and smashed her foot up pretty good where it got hung up underneath it. Mike knocked on her helmet and we both asked her "Aren't you glad you had that on?" With her adrenaline pumping she was saying that it didn't hurt and that she was fine. Now that she's been in the house for a while, she's starting to complain that this hurts, and that aches. I'm just glad she's okay. I'm also glad that I wasn't on it when she knocked it over. Is that selfish of me?

Shael keeps asking when those guys are going to leave because she needs to fart and doesn't want to do it while they are here in case they happen to walk by when she does it. I was actually thinking the same thing. The hounds are starting to bark and want out, also. As soon as they drive off I'm going to crack a big one then holler out "RELEASE THE HOUNDS!"

Kuh-Ching

I won $500! Not even gambling at the casino, either. I won it in a rafle contest. So, how do you like them apples? Not bad for a $5 investment.

The Real Me by Natalie Grant

foolish heart looks like we're here again

same old game of plastic smile

don't let anybody in

hiding my heartache,

will this glass house break

how much will they take before i'm empty

do i let it show, does anybody know?

CHORUS:

but you see the real me

hiding my skin,

broken from within

unveil me completely

i'm loosening my grasp

there's no need to mask my frailty

cause you see the real me

painted on, life is behind the mask

self-inflicted circus clown

i'm tired of the song and dance

living a charade,

always on parade

what a mess i've made of my existence

but you love me

even now

and still i see somehow

CHORUS

wonderful, beautiful

is what you see when you look at me

you're turning the tattered fabric of my life

into a perfect tapestry

i just wanna be me

CHORUS

and you love me just as i am

wonderful, beautiful

is what you see when you look at me

Almost forgot

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, RONI AND KELLY!!!

19 years is a long time. Like, forever, man.

But, ohhhh, how I remember that day, 19 years ago. How I found your sunglasses in the fridge. How you tackled me in the kitchen and propped a chair back to wax my eyebrows. How the best man was fighting with his wife only no one knew until the pictures came out and we could see the scowls on their faces as they were looking at each other. How I was one big mosquito bite when I got home. How I caught a ride home on the back of one of those mosquitoes. Nah, that last part was just a joke. Kind of.

Never Alone by BarlowGirl

I waited for you today

But you didn't show

No no.

I needed you today

So where did you go?

You told me to call

Said you'd be there

And though I haven't seen you

Are you still there?

Chorus

I cried out with no reply

And I can't feel you by my side

So I'll hold tight to what I know

You're here and I'm never alone

And though I cannot see you

And I can't explain why

Such a deep reassurance

We cannot separate

Interrupting Cow

The three of us went to Pizza Hut for supper Friday night and we sat at a booth next to the window. Mike was talking and her stopped mid sentence and just gaped. His eyes got huge then he managed to mumble "oh, man, now there's a bull dyke if I've ever seen one". Three women came walking in. One older lady wearing scrubs over her hump back, one twenty something, average looks, and one, well, bull dyke pretty much describes her. She had on a white wife beater tucked in to her men's style jean shorts. Her hair was cut short in a man's hair style and she had on a baseball cap. The only way we could tell that it was a woman was the fact that she had big boobs and a bra on. She had a big gut under that t-shirt, too.

Our food finally arrived and we got kind of distracted with eating. Except me, I was facing them and couldn't help but glance up at them every once in a while. At one point I was talking and I interrupted myself with "OH MY GOSH, MIKE, THEY JUST KISSED". Mike didn't believe me, but honest, they did! It wasn't any kind of lingering, wet kiss (Thank GOD!) just a quick smack on the lips like most couples do. Most male/female couples do, that is. Mike kept saying "NO WAY" and I would, of course retort with "WAY!"

Let's just say it was gross.

Part Two

Sorry about that abrupt ending for Friday's post. I kept losing a connection to blogger and I was afraid I would lose all I had written so far, so I saved it and didn't get it posted until Sunday night (tonight). But better late than never.

Okay, the second reason why Camp Meeting was so sad this year...It was our last Camp Meeting. Ever. We, in the kitchen, kept saying stuff like "Next year we'll do it this way" then realize, no, we wouldn't be doing anything any way next year. Just felt a little sad, like the end of an era. A big era.

So much has been going on lately that I haven't even been blogging about. The whole time I'm doing something I think how I can't wait to blog about it, but then I get tired and go to bed and by the time I get to my computer, the excitement is either gone or I want to keep that part of my life to myself. How selfish and fickle I've become. Become? I'm thinking maybe I've always been this way. Ha!

Shael learned first hand what the word "longsuffering" means. She went to the tractor pulls with us a couple weeks ago. My parents went so she didn't have anyone to stay with while Mike and I took off. It was kind of expensive, but when I think about how many hours we were there, it kind of evens out. We were there SEVEN hours. We got there an hour early to get a good seat, then it had some delays because the track wasn't quite ready after the big rain they'd had the night before. So, an hour and 45 minutes of those seven hours were spent waiting on the thing to start. Shael hated it and never wants to go back. How did we raise such a child? A child who disdains tractor pulls? Hogwash. We should make her go every year until she learns to like it. MUAH-HA-HA! At one point when a modified truck went by, it was so loud that it made the earth shake and the bleachers fairly hum with vibrations. Mike said he figured all the women were squirming in their seats with big smiles on their faces. Shael looked up at my Mom and asked "Hey, Mum? Did that make your butt rumble?"

Shael has completed her first full week of summer school. Week two commences tomorrow morning at 8:25. My Mom has volunteered to pick Shael up from school at 11:30, when class time is over (yeah, 3 whole hours of classtime) and take her over to church camp, which is only about a mile away from the school. Then she's going to pick her up at church camp by 9:30 and take her home, where she'll spend the night and catch the bus in the morning for school. This way, she can have her cake and eat it, too. I guess. Not really because having to go to summer school is not quite like having her cake. But, you know what I mean.

I went blue berry picking yesterday. In the hot, hot sun. Stupid me, I didn't want to get out of bed before 8:30 or 9:00 then I watched Pretty Woman while I did a load of laundry. Yes, it took the entire movie to wash one load of laundry. The cold water comes out in a pinky finger size trickle and I was washing my delicates in cold water. I finally got to the blue berry patch by 12:30 in the afternoon. I forgot to tell my sister what conclusion I came to after about 30 minutes of picking berries and only having one bucket half full. Next year, my nieces or nephew are coming to pick berries, too. It'll build character. Another conclusion I came to: any person who considers themselves to be Indian, should go pick berries at least once in their life time. Blue berries would be easyest, no thorns or stickers. Just lots of heat and tedious work. It took me three hours yesterday, but I finally got three gallons picked. One gallon for me, one for Mom and one for my sister. And sister, if your freezer goes out and you lose the whole gallon of berries, please, DO NOT TELL ME THIS! When your berries leave my fridge to go to their new home, I'm going to assume they will find their ultimate destiny in some pie or cobbler or muffins or something delicious like that. Not ruined and dumped into the nearest trash can. No, if you have to lie to me, I'm okay with that. Last year, if you will remember, I picked LOADS of blackberries and gave them to my Aunt Susie. I know I gave her at least four gallons. I helped her find place in her plumb full freezer and I left there with this beautiful quilt she gave me. Then at Green Corn she tells me that her freezer went out on her and she lost all the berries, not to mention all the other stuff she had in that freezer chest. It was CRAMMED. She lost every thing in it. I was sick! All those berries! I pampered those berries, picked every morning as soon as it was daylight enough, dew still on them. Then they got ruined and thrown away. So, please, if I give any of you berries that I've picked myself, don't tell me if they go bad. Lie to me, if you have to, and tell me they were scrumptious.

So, now, I'm sporting a nice little red neck sun burn. Literally, a red neck. I burned my new tat, not a good thing. And my forearms are burnt. Can't forget my face. My face is red cheeked. But, I have blue berries!

I took Shael shopping for clothes today. Wal-Mart clothes for my growing girl. I dropped her off at "Miss Tammy's" house so she could ride to camp with her new friend Dahlian. She put on one of her new outfits with her new swim suit on underneath. The rest of her clothes I took with me and dropped them off at my Mom's house as we were going by on our way to Mike's Mom's house. We took the bike so Mike crammed all Shael's new clothes, plus her bible and her school three ring binder in the saddle bags. He also crammed a pair of new swimming shoes and a can of sun screen in there. He was pulling out stuff from the Wal-Mart sack and when he pulled out those swimming shoes he started to stuff them in the saddle bag then took a second look and said "Good God! These are HUGE!" I laughed because they were huge. She tried them on, though. She just has big feet. To give her some credit, they were a little bit long. It seemed they only carried great big men's swim shoes and little kid swim shoes. Nothing in between. She got a pair of the big men's shoes but they were only about an inch too long and not too wide at all. She's my growing girl!

I'm going to bed. I'm tired even though when we got home from Mike's Mom's I took an almost two hour nap. I came home, peed, changed into a night gown and then sprawled out on the bed. I woke up at almost 9:00 and decided I'd better get up and wash some towels or we wouldn't have anything to dry off on in the morning. The washer buzzed it's finishing buzz about 20 minutes ago. I really should put them in the dryer and go get some more sleep. I know, I know, *safety hazard*! I'm going to live on the edge, so sue me. Guess what? I also rode on the motorcycle without a helmet! AHHHH!

Have You Missed Me?

When I worked at Jack & Jill's I had this cute little girl named Maddison. She was absolutely adorable. Well, she grew up and moved on up to the next class so I didn't get to see her as often as I once had. I was use to her being there with me every day and it seemed a little weird when I only saw her at glances throught out the day. So, one day, she came over to my side to watch a little bit of TV while we all waited for our lunch to be brought back and I grabbed her up in a big hug and said, "MADDISON! Have you missed me?" to which she replied in the sweetest voice you've ever heard, "No!"

Any time I feel like I need a little bit of humbleness, I think of sweet little Maddison and how honest she was with me. Keeps me humble, yet makes me laugh out loud every time I think of it.

***************

This week has been Camp Meeting week. *sigh* I'm tired and I'm sad.

Tired because I got up at 4:45 a.m. on Tuesday and Wednesday, worked at the church then went to work at the Day Care. Then came home for a few minutes and went back to church for the evening meetings, came home and was in bed no sooner than midnight. Monday I worked my regular shift at the Day Care (9:00-5:00) then went to the evening meeting. Four hours and forty five minutes after crawling in bed, I'm crawling out of bed to go to church. I work in the kitchen at the church from 6:00 to 8:45 Tuesday morning then go to work at the Day Care from 9:00 - 6:00. Then to the church by 7:00. I'm flopping myself in bed around 12:30 only to slowly drag myself out again four hours and fifteen minutes later. Wednesday I work in the kitchen at the church from 6:30 to 2:15 and then go to work at the Day Care from 2:30 - 6:00. Back at church by 7:00. I'll admit I got to bed a little earlier last night. It was 11:30 when I got to bed. And I didn't have to get up as early this morning. I got up at 7:00 and it felt like I'd slept like a rock. Seven and a half hours...WOO! I grabbed some Z's now, didn't I?

Sad because, well there's two reasons. One, the obvious reason. This is the first year of Camp Meeting without our Pastor Leon. In fact, he's been gone less than 30 days. Talk about emotional. It's been a very roller coster ride type week. There's been laughing and crying and lots of remembering of the man who started it all 27 years ago.

This Tribe STILL Needs An Enema

I will not go on and on, just rambling away about how frustrated I am. But, let it be known, I am frustrated. I am embarrassed to be associated with some of these people. As you may or may not have known, or guessed, today was the annual tribal meeting. I usually try to hang in there to the bitter end, but today was too much. I got so disgusted I left. I'll say it again...This Tribe Needs An Enema. Might be just the Chief needs one because he really is full of shit.

*************

Enough! (I say that a lot, don't I?) Jury duty totally sucked. Now that it's over, let me fill you in on some details. There's some real crazy people out there and here's a little story about one of them. This dude, Mr. McKee, rented an X Box from Rent-A-Center. Then he pawns it for some quick cash. When it comes time for the X Box to go back, and it's still in hawk, he decides he needs to find another way to make some quick cash. So, he goes and picks up a dude he'd only known for a couple months, a Mr. Like (that's not how you spell it, but that's how it's pronounced, so that's how I'm going to spell it). An unsuspecting Mr. Like thinks they are going to go find a job where they can get paid in cash that day, like odd jobs for old people, or something. Mr. McKee is driving and he takes them to the park where he says he wants to take a look at the river to see how it looks for fishing. They drive through River View Park and come across a 60 year old woman, Ms. H. She's sitting in her truck, eating a sandwich she'd gotten at Nott's. Mr. McKee pulls up, gets out and pretends to be lost and asking for directions. Mr. Like is sitting in the car, where he does nothing, possibly the biggest thing he did wrong. After giving the guys directions, Mr. McKee hauls off and punches Ms. H in the face. Twice. Then he opens her truck door and pulls her out of the truck by her ankles. The whole time she's telling him she doesn't have any money. When Mr. McKee gets her out of the way, he grabs her purse, which was beside her in the truck, runs back to the car and speeds away. Mr. Like is scared and doesn't know what to do and keeps telling Mr. McKee to stop. They only get a few miles down the road before they meet up with the cops. Seems Ms. H still had her cell phone and called 911 immediately. We got to listen to the 911 call and Ms. H was still on the phone with the 911 operator when the suspects were down on the ground. All in about 5 minutes.

Now, those weren't all the details, but the main part of the story. The extent of Ms. H's injuries were actually pretty severe for only being punched twice. It shattered her orbital bone, broke three teeth, caused permanent hearing loss in one of her ears and nerve damage to her eye. She's had to undergo a couple surgeries already and this was only nine months ago.

We found Mr. Like not guilty. Not because we felt he was totally innocent, but because we felt he was not guilty of what he was charged with. The other guy, there was no question, he was guilty. We found him guilty of course, but the hard part was deciding on a sentence. We ended up giving him 20 years. After MUCH deliberation. If this had been his first offense, we would have been more lenient. But, he'd been in prison before, and he is only 26. The other guy, Mr. Like, is only 19 and had only turned 19 twenty three days before the incident.

Since Thursday, I've thought an awful lot about Mr. McKee and Mr. Like. Hoping and praying that Mr. Like is taking his second chance serious, not taking advantage of his freedom. Hoping and praying that he learned something and that he will pick and chose his friends a little more carefully from now on. Then there's Mr. McKee. How should I feel knowing that I am partly responsible for taking 20 years of this young man's life away from him. I realize that he is ultimately responsible for his actions and he is paying the consequences of his actions. But I had a part, I felt like I had his life in my hands. That wasn't something I took very lightly and I don't want to feel that again. I never knew it would hang with me like this.