A Quick Blurb

Anybody visiting or moving to the Grove area, or the northeast Oklahoma, southwest Missouri, or northwest Arkansas areas you are cordially invited to attend my church. It's called Grove Christian Center and it's on the corner of Shundi Road and Highway 10. I've been going there since I was three, so I'm a little biased, I guess you could say, but it's the best church in Grove. We have services for all ages, from nursery to adults. So, please come check us out. Communion starts at 9:00, Sunday School starts at 9:30, "big church" (as I like to call it) starts at 10:30. Yes, we still have services on Sunday night and Wednesday night. Both start at 7:00.
Remember, Grove Christian Center! You can check out our website by clicking on the link to the left.
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Gotta go to class now. Now that I've commercialed. Is that a word? It is now!

I Need A New Stat Counter

I guess my stat counter went haywire. It says zero straight across the board for the last 7 days. That means I've had zero visitors. But, I know that isn't true, my anonymous friend said she has visited, and I have also visited it myself to check out how my links looked on the new template.
So much for that stat counter.
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I've got five weeks of school left, I can hardly believe it has gone so quickly! I've got lots to do these last five weeks. That pesky research paper that I did absolutely nothing on during spring break. I finally went back to work on it this morning. Then I've got lots to do in that Lit for Children class all of a sudden. That work is easy, yet tedious. Lots of writing. By hand. Actual hand writing! My goodness, will I be able to remember how? For my final assignment for that class I will have to tap in to my creative side. I have to make "Poetry Poster Board" which is pretty much making a poster board sized bulletin board with any poem as the theme. That's the easy part. Then, I have to create a "learning activity" using a "learning style". Then we have to present it to the whole class and the whole class has to do our activity. I've already made up my mind that I'm going to make a board using the snowman poem I heard a girl use at the day care. It's about a snowman that gets made then slowly, slowly melts away. Now all I need to figure out is how to bring ice to class without it melting before we can make our snowmen. Once they are made, I want them to melt. I need a snow cone maker for this, I think.
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I finally got my seeds planted today. I changed my clothes to flower bed working clothes, I put on my cruddy boots, and was putting my hair in a bandanna when the rain started pouring down. I waited a few minutes. Then started gathering my stuff that I would need. By the time I got out there, the rain had almost completely stopped. But not for very long. I ended up being out there in the rain for close to an hour. When I finished, I was drenched and had mud literally from head to foot. I looked in the mirror and had this huge black smudge across one cheek. I grabbed a shower and when I got out of the bathroom, I noticed the clouds were clearing and the sun was shining bright as could be. Figures. That doesn’t really matter to me, because weeding a flower bed in the rain really is the best time to do it.
So far, I have 42 tulip blooms (not counting the 9 I’ve already cut to give away) and 85 tulip buds that will bloom within the next couple of days. They are gorgeous. Then there’s a few jonquils splashed in there for variation.

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I think I'll go to bed. It's 9:53 and I made it home from class a little early tonight. Think I'll take advantage of it and hit the sack. Last night I went to bed around 10:00 and I think I was asleep by 10:00 and 25 seconds.

Grr

I've had two posts in the last few days that have been heart wrenching to write, but I wrote them anyway. Only to have my computer kick me off line before I could post. Usually that's not a problem, I only get back on line, but both of these times it froze up and the whole computer had to be restarted. There went my posts.
Oh, well!
I won't even try to re post. I couldn't possibly remember everything anyway. That sucks, doesn't it? But, you know what? I haven't had one person read my blog in like a week anyway, so, really, it was just for me. And I read it, so I guess that's all that matters.
Gotta go to class now.
Bye!

Just Beautiful

That's my sister, isn't she lovely? This is the night of the Clapton concert. I've been waiting for her to send it to me so I could post it. LOL

HTML Blues

I've been working all day on this blog trying to tweak here and there. A computer that kicks you off line every 15 minutes doesn't help. Grrrrrrr
So, please, bear with me. I know practically nothing about this, so it's a trial and error kind of thing.

Killer

After reading my sister's comment about my killer dream, I decided to do a little research on the subject. I found some interesting things. Here's a sample:

Killing
This dream may also represent a part of you or your life that you wish would leave you alone and stop creating a nuisance. Killing may represent the killing off of old parts of yourself and old habits.
*Please see also Murder.
Killer
To see a killer in your dream, suggests that an essential aspect of your emotions have been cut off. You feel that you are losing your identity and your individuality. Alternatively, this dream may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something.

I couldn't have found a better meaning.

Day Two

So far, nothing has been accomplished that I'd hoped for. Why does that not surprise me? I've done minimal research for my research paper. Shael's bedroom and bathroom haven't even been touched. The charity bags are still sitting by the back door instead of taken to the Friendship House in Miami. I keep thinking that I'll wait until I get to Shael's room before taking them off because I'm sure there's tons of clothes to add to the too small pile that goes to charity. I'd hate to take all this stuff off only to clean Shael's room out and have more sitting around here waiting for my next trip. I need some motivation. I take a look in there and all I want to do is turn around, shut the door behind me and shudder.
The past two days I've not even gotten out of bed at a normal time. Yesterday it was almost 10:00 in the morning and today it was 10:00 in the morning. In fact, when I got up this morning, I had actually been asleep for over 12 hours. I woke up this morning when Mike was getting ready to leave and I talked to him for a minute or two. Then I went right back to sleep after saying "bye". At 6:49 the phone rang and I answered it thinking it was Mike saying he forgot something. Instead it was some guy calling Mike back about a motorcycle for sale. Who calls at 6:49 in the morning about a motorcycle? I was nice, though, and gave him Mike's cell number. Then went right back to sleep. And stayed asleep until 10:00. Man, I knew I was really behind on my "sleep debt" (as my psych prof calls it) but I had no idea I could sleep for 12 hours after having slept for 10 hours the night before. It's not even about depression this time, I'm genuinely sleep deprived, I guess. I feel like a teenager, spending that much time in bed asleep.
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I came to bed the other night and Mike was watching "Sex Talk With Sue Johanson". Any of you ever watch that? He was laughing and I was feeling really sorry for these poor saps that were calling in with these questions that I felt like I was qualified to answer. "Leave that sorry sucker! He ain't ever gonna change and if you ain't happy now, what makes you think you will be when you get married?" This woman was all upset that her fiance of THREE years was masturbating so much. Even right after they had sex. She felt like she wasn't enough to take care of his sexual drive and cravings. She wanted to make love for half an hour, call it quits, roll over and go to sleep. He was raring to go again 5 minutes later. I looked over at Mike and said "He needs a woman like me, doesn't he?" and laughed a little bit. He looked back over at me and said with complete deadpan "Yeah, a nymphomaniac."
Anyway, where I was going with this story. During the commercials, there would be this ad for Tabu toys. "Designed by women, For women" was their slogan. It kept playing over and over during every commercial break. Mike finally said "Hey, we should order you something and have them deliver it through the US Mail, that way your cousin can deliver it to the house!" It seems one of my slew of cousins is now our mail carrier. Yeah. I don't think so. I would die of humiliation if something from Tabu Toys came to my house and he delivered it. It reminded me of this little comic strip I saw one time that showed a woman looking in a magazine and ordering a toy that promised "discreet brown package delivery". When the discreet brown package was delivered, it was delivered by a van that had "Dildos-R-Us" splashed across the side and a great big dildo on the top like a giant Oscar Mayer wiener or something. Hey, the package was in a discreet brown paper cover. They never said anything about the carrier being discreet.
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My former director use to give me all her books that she'd read. Not actually all of them, because she was a huge Danielle Steel fan and would keep all those. But in the course of a year or so, she gave me dozens of romance novels, most of them Nora Roberts. They're okay, and I'll read them, mostly in the bathroom, like I mentioned yesterday. But, I get tired of the same old story told and retold. Gorgeous man meets gorgeous woman, they immediately fall into the sack with each other, then have a fight and ultimately make up and get married at the end. If there's a sequel, they stay married forever and have a couple of gorgeous kids that grow up and repeat the process. Where's the romance novel about the ugly, skinny man who has a golden tongue and can sweet talk any woman? Where's the romantic story of the wooing of the overweight woman who feels she's not worth anything? Where are these stories? I want to read them. Not everybody in this world is beautiful by romance novel standards. Not every woman has curves that have every man turning their heads, or flowing auburn hair to their waists. Not every man has electric blue eyes and a jaw line that is carved. Where are the men who stutter or the women who are so shy that people think she's stuck up? I'm so tired of reading these ridiculous romance books where people have power struggles and end up doing it on the grassy knoll where they stand. Give me a break! How many real people have sex with someone on the day they meet them? Not me, and not many people that I know. Out of all the people that I know, there are two people who I know have done this. And lived to regret it. One of these two people, one did, indeed, end up marrying the ho who dropped her drawers in that first meeting, then had to live with her psychotic behavior the rest of his life, even years after they divorced. You don't read that in romance novels, do you? Where are the real problems couples face? Where is the bad morning breath and over due bills in the mail? Not in any book I've ever read. One book even described a man's kiss first thing in the morning as "the musky taste of man". SICK! That just grossed me out. I don't even like to face Mike first thing in the morning, much less let him stick his tongue in my mouth. Nasty! The idea is utterly ridiculous. What a farce.
I realize sex sales and I guess no one would be interested in reading about two ugly, fat people boinking on their honeymoon. But, please, you don't have to add the boinking in the book in the first place. Leave it out, everybody knows what's going on during a honeymoon. You don't have to describe it in depth detail. Until someone writes a book like this, I'll probably continue to read the trashy romance novel, skimming over the trashy part, and try to enjoy the story at the core of it all.
I think I need to cleanse my reading pallet and reread The Thorn Birds.

Cooking With Tofu

Today for lunch is whole grain spaghetti and tofu. I sauteed the tofu with a drop of olive oil and a clove of garlic and still the stuff has no taste. I had to add some Greek seasoning (my favorite for just about any dish) for some flavor. There's some pesto in the fridge, I could have added that, but I like to save that for my ravioli. I've been on a big ravioli kick lately. I cook three cheese and three beef then stir in some pesto while they're still hot on my plate and it's a quick and easy meal for me. It leaves horrendous breath in it's wake, but it's so good, it's worth it.
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I never made it to Miami last Friday. But, I did get the kitchen cleaned up and all the laundry finished, so that's something, right? Mike took Shael over to his parents house and she's still there today. She called last night to tell us that she had a little mishap at Chuck E. Cheese. It seems she had a little panic attack when Chuck E. Cheese came up and stood next to her. She started crying and he put his arm around her which made her really go into hysterics. Here are all these little kids that run up to him and hug him and then there's my nearly 13 year old daughter who cries when he gets near her. Yeah. Me and Mike got a good laugh over that one. Our poor baby.
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I had this dream last night that I was married to Maximillion Schell and pregnant with twins. He was extremely rich but I still felt compelled to ask his permission before spending any money on anything or even to borrow his Mercedes to take some people to the airport. It seems he owned a travel agency and I ran it and I was needing to take some clients to the airport so they wouldn't have to take a cab. I guess it was beneath then. I watched Deep Impact Saturday evening, that might have something to do with it. My dreams are freaky!
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I think that I have come up with a theory that explains Mike's talent for being a fat chick magnet. He was telling me this story of how this big fat fatty was coming on to him at the bar the other night. It was really funny yet I kept thinking that if he would stay out of the bars then that would take care of it right there. But, it seems that no matter where he goes, the women that come on to him are always big mammer jammers. And I can say this being a big mammer jammer myself. And come on to him they do. I've seen it with my own two eyes. I usually sit back and have myself a little amusement until he comes over to me and gives me a big kiss or something to let them know he's taken.
But, my theory. This is it. I told him last night that it's because he's too nice. He said he was nice to everyone, why couldn't the good looking ones come on to him. My theory states that everybody is nice to the good looking ones, so they don't feel the need to cozy up to him. They have the pick of the litter. Being fat myself, I know from experience that not everybody is nice to the fat ones and they will latch on to anyone who is nice to them.
Mike scratched his chin and said "Hmmmm, makes sense". Of course it makes sense, I know what I'm talking about here. Mike is a huge flirt and will flirt with anything female. Especially those that don't normally get flirted with. Like the old ladies and the ugly women. And the fat ones. He flirts with the young hot hotties, also, but they are so use to men flirting with them that they take him with a grain of salt. Women who don't get flirted with often are really attracted to someone who notices them and flirts with them. Mike says he doesn't flirt. But, believe me, as a woman, I know what flirting is. And what he does is flirting.
So, call me Stacie the Great Philosopher. And you can call my theory "The Corpulent Come Ons"
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With no Shael tonight, we might end up in Joplin. Mike wants to get a new alarm clock and he has a particular kind in mind. Best Buy has them, so I hope we make it there. I'm really sick of the one he has now. I have woke up to the opening guitar riffs of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" for the past couple of years now, I'm ready for something different.
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Day one of Spring Break is gloomy looking outside. That means perfect sleeping in weather. Which I did. I didn't wake up until nearly 10:00 this morning! I couldn't believe it when I looked over at the Nirvana clock. It's 2:02 now and I'm still in my house coat. I love it. Tomorrow, that will be a different story. There's only so many house coat days in a week.
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I'm going to go take a long hot bath, reading the last chapter in my stupid romance novel I reserve for bathroom time. Don't laugh, and don't tell me you don't read in the bathroom! I am looking forward to wrinkled toes.
Happy Day!

I almost forgot

Happy belated birthday to my 18 year old niece, Emily. Hope you won some money, honey.
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I also hope you all like my new template. If you have any "easy" criticisms for me, let me know. If they are "hard" criticisms, please keep them to yourself.
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Check out my motivation for losing weight at the very bottom of this page. That was before the 30 lbs.

I'm In A Hurry

In a hurry to sit and do nothing, that is. I know this week is going to fly by. Much faster than I would like for it to. I will sit and enjoy it as much as possible. Somewhat jealous of the young whippersnappers in my class who are going to places like Florida, Colorado, and taking cruises to the Caribbean. It turns out that a lot of my fellow classmates for General Psychology are the sons of doctors. Hmm. Yeah.
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On to better subjects. Wait a minute. What am I thinking? This is my life, there are no better subjects! LOL
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The ladies retreat went very well. It was so good. The speaker was good, what she had to say was good, and some of the things she said to my Pastor's wife, Rhonda, were right on. God is so amazing.
Mom sold about 60 pieces of clothing during this weekend. She started out with 252, which is a fraction of what she use to bring down there. It wasn't too much of a hassle to get her set up and to tear down what was left. It left the beauty shop big and empty in the front. Mom keeps saying she can't wait for God to show her what goes in there next. My personal hope is somebody else's business. I would like to see her find something else she could do to create an income so she could get out of the place once and for all. She's been a hair dresser for 33 years and her legs are not very thankful for the life they've been given. Until she knows what else to do with that big empty part of the building, I asked her about getting some workout videos and her and I doing some aerobics. Low impact, of course, for her legs and my boobs. We'll see how that pans out.
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This week, during my well looked forward to Spring Break, I am going to do some serious work on my research paper. The due date is coming up soon and I am no where near done. I've barely even begun. But I have started. I've talked to some of my classmates and they seem so confident in their ability. I feel so, what's the word I'm looking for? Terrified! I don't even know how to start writing this thing. All I've done so far is write a bunch of notes, and now I have to make sense of those notes and put them in APA style. Happy, happy, joy, joy. I think if I could just look at someone else's paper, kind of get a feel of how to set it up, it might help. I've looked on line and that's been a little help, but I haven't been able to see an entire paper, for practical reasons, I suppose. But I need to see how to start this thing. I got some good solid advice the other night on how to work on it. Write all my ideas and phrases on index cards. One idea per card. Narrow it down to a single issue, instead of letting it be so broad that it's incomprehensible. Get my thoughts on index cards organized and just start writing the paper. Sounds simple enough. *sigh* This is tough for this old broad who hasn't written a research paper in 15 years. And never one in APA style.
On the bright side, guess what the first thing I learned about teen sexuality was? That parents have far greater influence on their kids than parents think. Far more influence than peer pressure, but the parents have to do some work. Some talking, some talking and then a little more talking. It's not all about giving the birds and the bees talk one time and never mention it again. It's an ongoing process until that child is grown. It made me feel pretty smart to know that Mike and I have done something right without knowing we were doing the right thing.
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Before I forget, I got to find out what my test score was before I left the college the other day. I made a 92%. Plus the 10 extra points for my team being the winning Jeopardy! team, that made my final score 102%. I was very happy. Slightly disappointed because I am still striving for that perfect score. Each test gets better, so maybe by the end of the year, I'll have at least one perfect test score. Here's hoping anyway.
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I also got some assignments (FINALLY) from my Children's Lit class. It turns out that now I'm going to be overloaded with all this work from this class when the first part of the semester we did literally nothing. No pun intended. I don't know, it may have to do with the fact that I mentioned to the office that the class was a complete bust and I felt like I was wasting my time and money with it. She said she'd take care of it and I guess she did. Now I have loads of homework. I'm okay with that, after all, it's what I took the class for. To learn something and to do something. When we get back from Spring Break, we are going to be working on poetry. Great. I loath poetry. Unless you count music lyrics. That's about as close to poetry that I can endure. Maybe there's poetry out there that would suit me, I don't know. But, all the poetry that I've been exposed to has sucked. My utmost unfavorite was Walt Whitman. Geez , what a freak! I still have my college lit book because of all the short stories that I liked are in it. But, probably a third of it is poetry. You know, it's suppose to be devoted to the best and the best loved American poets, but they are ridiculous! I was reading some aloud one day to my friend, Valerie, and we both got to laughing at the preposterous writings. I kept saying "People really like this crap?" and we'd laugh some more.
So, as you can tell, I'm really looking forward to plunging myself into poetry next week. Wahoo. The ironic thing is, Mike use to really get into poetry. Scary, huh? Only now, he's mostly into the dirty limerick kind of poetry. Go figure, huh?
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Well, I'm going to get off here and go put on a pair of socks. My feet are cold. Hopefully I'll be able to post this without the computer messing up, like it tends to do. Oh, I'm spoiled rotten to the college computers now. I'll never be the same.
Adios!

Spring Break

Yee-whooo! Spring Break is here for me. I just finished my Psych test and now I'm free for the next week. I don't even have to work. How do you like them apples? I think I might get use to it. The week after Spring Break is going to be tough, I'm thinking.
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So, what all has happened since I last posted? Honestly, not much. Something happened at work the other day that I'm not sure if I should even discuss. But, I will anyway. I won't divulge any names, or anything like that. To protect the innocent and the stupid. Since I've been back there, working my one day a week (that's been pretty cool, too, btw) I've been working in the baby room. It has been hectic, to say the least. There are 14 babies enrolled and usually they don't all show up on the same day, but there's been days when we have 12 and that's really not much of a fun day. But, one this one particular day, this one particular lady turned around while this one particular baby was on the changing table. You can probably guess what happened. You guess right, the baby fell off the changing table. All the way to the hard, concrete floor. His head had this huge knot and black spot immediately. The lady wasn't even going to tell us what happened. If I hadn't heard him hit and looked over in time to see her pick him up (and also heard her say "OH, GOD!") the truth, I don't think, would have never gotten out. Well, the baby had to be taken to the ER and he was okay. He's a bigger baby, not like a new born or anything. He pulls up and crawls all over the place, I'm not sure how old he is, though. He ended up with a slight concussion. Very serious, I'm not arguing that fact, but nothing was cracked and he was acting normal. The doctor said it was okay for him to go to sleep.
I really didn't expect him to come back. Ever. But, the next day, there he was back again. With this huge bruise on his forehead. Poor baby. I don't like this baby, but I wouldn't want him hurt. It turns out that the Mom was looking around for other day cares to put the baby in and she finally found one but he couldn't start until today. So, yesterday was his last day with us. I told my friend, Valerie, that even though I really didn't like this baby (at all) I didn't want him to leave this way. It not only reflects poorly on the day care, it reflects poorly on me and Valerie as individuals because we both work in the baby room. And no, it wasn't her that dropped him. That seems incredibly shallow, even to me, to seem to be more concerned with what people will think about me than I am about the baby. But, that's not true. I was concerned about the baby. Very concerned. Concerned enough to have to go to the boss and discuss this lady, even though I hate doing that. I feel like a gossip, going behind some one's back to talk about them. But, I felt this was way past needing to be discussed. It should have been addressed before anything happened. In a way, I feel responsible for this poor baby because I never said anything. This baby wasn't the first baby she has turned her back on and sadly, he wasn't the last. I don't know what it's going to take to get this woman to wise up. I hope she quits, that would solve the entire problem right there.
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Well, now that I've discussed confidential work related stuff, what else is there to talk about? How about my daughter. Remember that she had a friend over last weekend? I let her take the four wheeler out to play trusting them to be safe. Making them wear helmets. Monday evening, she wanted to ride her own so Mike started it for her and he went to get on his to ride along with her. Uh-oh, it seems the girls had a wreck on his and didn't tell us. They bent the handle bars up quite a bit. The right one mainly, is all bent toward the seat. Jessie was driving, they were going too fast when she turned and they flipped it over on it's side. That's why they came home and quit riding it before their time was up. I should have guessed something was up when I told them they could ride for 20 minutes and they only rode for 10. Mike was royally pissed and blamed me. He made me cry, then came back later and apologized (which shocked me! I can't remember the last time I received a sincere apology from him about anything). But, now he's saying that Shael is probably going to be grounded throughout her entire Spring Break. First of all, where do they get off having a Spring Break when they missed like 10 days from the snow and ice? Second of all, this is my Spring Break, too, and I don't want to be punished also. Hmmm, we'll just have to see. Maybe we can work something else out.
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I have been spring cleaning my little heart out this whole week. Mom's Rainbow vac has seen a workout, let me tell you. I got my living room done, as I mentioned before, my entryway, which was almost as bad as the living room, the hallway, my bathroom and finally, my bedroom and my closet. But, before I could use the Rainbow on the bedroom and closet I had to clean them first. My closet was terrible. So many clothes that I don't wear and just plain old trash. How does trash get into my closet, I wonder? I don't know, all I know is that it does. Next week Mike said he would help me move the bed so we can give it a good cleaning under it. He said that's probably the worst part, but I had to disagree. The closet was the worst. Under the bed is going to be old shoes that need to be thrown away, cotton balls that use to be in my ears when I went to sleep at night, but fell out during the night, and some major, MAJOR dust bunnies. I don't think I can leave it at just dust bunnies, maybe dust colonies, or dust dinosaurs or something big like that. When I cleaned under the little table that holds the satellite receiver in the bedroom, the carpet had so much dust on it, it was like another carpet on top. It was right in the line of fire from the attic fan, which brings in dust of every sort. Back before Mike had severe allergies, we use to be able to use the attic fan, but he's gone and gotten all allergic to all kinds of pollens and dust that we can't use it anymore. That was how long it had been since I'd cleaned under that little table. OY. I'm sure that's what under the bed is going to look like.
I felt so bad when I saw how dirty the carpets were in the house. Mike having those bad allergies like that and me leaving the floors so dusty and dirty. Talk about conviction. I had it. I'm really hoping that once the house does get cleaned up a little better that it might help him sleep a little better at night. I know that he gets it all day at work, but the least I could do is help him out some on the home front. He's going to have to go to the doctor, I'm sure they can give him something that will help.
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I should be finishing up here. I'm at school still, it's 10:05 and I have a ton of stuff to do today it's not even funny. Tonight is the ladies retreat and Mom is bringing her clothes down again to try to sell them off. Last year she had decided to go out of business so she said that it was the last time she would ever bring her clothes down. But, Daddy talked her into staying in the clothing business a little longer. She wishes she wouldn't have listened to him, because then she got stuck with a lot of clothes that wouldn't sell. So, here we are again. Dragging the clothes, the racks, the purses, the cash register and all the things that go with it, back down to the church to try to get rid of it once and for all. Anything that is left, she is going to donate to Soul's Harbor in Joplin. But, that means that once again, I have to help her load up all these clothes, racks, etc into the back of the Suburban, then unload them at the church, put the racks back together then hang the clothes back up on them. She says that she doesn't have very many, but once you start loading them up, they multiply. She wants everything set up and ready to sell by 6:00 tonight. Yipee, I'm so excited.
But, before that, I'm going to go to Miami to give my stuff that I cleaned out of my room and closet to the Friendship House. I'm giving away clothes that I've never even worn. Some things even still have the price tag on them. Things that Mom has given me that never did fit. Now that I've lost weight, they still don't fit. I'm just a weird shape, that all there is to it. I've got several bags of things to take there, then I need to return the Rainbow. Somewhere in there I want to clean up my kitchen at home and do a couple loads of laundry. I'm not sure if that will happen, or not. It won't if I stay here much longer.
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Before I leave, let me tell you of some dreams I've been having this week. The first one was Tuesday night and I dreamed that I woke up and Mike wasn't anywhere around. I couldn't find him even outside. So, I drove to my parents house and found him asleep upstairs. I woke him up and asked him what he was doing there. He exploded on me and yelled that he wished he would have gone ahead and divorced me when he first thought of doing it last summer. I asked him why and he told me because I ate all the cookies and I had entirely too many clothes. I told him about this dream the next morning and he told me it was my own conscious bothering me. I think he might be right on this one.
The next night, I dreamed something way worse. I dreamed that my brother murdered someone. Not just a random someone, but his ex mother in law. He shot her in the head with a shot gun. I dreamed that Mike and I were sleeping in the closet (see how this clean closet keeps sneaking into my dreams?) and I thought I'd heard a knock at the door. Mike passed it off as the dog nosing around on the porch until my Mom comes barging into the bedroom and turns on the light. Me and Mike were both naked and we were scrambling around trying to find our robes to cover up with. Mom didn't even noticed she was so frantic. She said that he'd finally snapped and done it. After getting her calmed slightly she said "He finally did it. He blew her brains out" I asked "WHO?" and she said "Brub!" I first screamed out his wife's name, but in my dream my voice would not work. It was one of those dreams where you are screaming as loud as you can and it comes out as a whisper. "Sonya?" and she said "NO!" So, I asked "Cassie?" which is his ex's name. Still "NO!". Finally she said "Her Mom! Cassie's MOM!" My brother had murdered someone and I was in shock, denial, whatever you want to call it, I couldn't believe it. Not my brother. My brother who has never even been in a fist fight would not shoot someone in the head. But, he had, and he even went and turned himself in and pleaded guilty and all that jazz. My brother, who has fought tooth and nail to gain full custody of his daughter, was now in jail and his daughter was going to her no good mother after all.
I woke up totally disturbed from that dream. I'm still baffled by it. Mainly because my brother gets along famously with his ex mother in law. More so than he ever got along with his ex wife. He would never do anything like that. And if he did, I would be just as surprised in real life as I was in my dream. What a horrible dream to have! It has bothered me for two days now.
And last night's dream that I was going to write about has flown right out of my head off to never never land. Maybe I'll remember it later, maybe I won't. Who cares, anyway. This one wasn't traumatic, or scary or anything like the other two. Just bizarre and I was going to laugh about it with you. But, now, it's totally gone. Huh.
*
Okay, so now I've rambled on for another 20 minutes. I've got to get out of here!
Have a wonderful Spring Break, y'all!

10 Things I Would Like To Know

1. How much longer before my road is paved?
2. What makes one pot hole a priority and the one next to it not?
3. Why is it there is never anything good on TV when I'm home alone, but when the gang's all here, there's always something I'd rather watch on the other station?
4. Who invented the research paper for students?
5. How come no one but me has noticed I've lost 30 pounds?
6. Why do teenagers get so embarrassed by their parents even when the parents try not to?
7. Why do I dream about my old mobile home when I dream of home?
8. Why can some people draw and I can't?
9. Why can't some people carry a tune in a bucket?
10. Why doesn't the whole world love M*A*S*H?

Sunny Weekend! Yay!

Shael had a friend over again last night. This time is was Jessie. I found out that they stayed up until 3:20 this morning. No wonder they weren't in a hurry to wake up this morning when I was rattling around the kitchen at 7:20. I was going to work on the living room carpet again this morning until I found them both sacked out in there instead of in Shael's bedroom. Fooey.
*
I borrowed my Mom's Rainbow vacuum cleaner yesterday to clean my carpet. Oh. My. Gosh. My living room was so bad. I knew it was, but it still doesn't make it any less shocking. I wasn't even half way with the living room only when the thing quit because the water needed changed already. That wood stove really does a number on the carpet. Smoking up the house sometimes, using the shop vac to clean up the wood chips that make the awfullest mess. That shop vac blows out almost as much dust as it sucks up. I've gone over the living room only THREE times already and each time the water looks just as bad when I dump it out. Like mud with about a half inch of nasty water on the top. Yuck, and we were living with that, laying around on the floor. Breathing that. No wonder Mike's allergies are bothering him so much. And that's just the living room. I haven't even started on the hallway or the bedroom yet. That will have to be next weeks project.
*
Today, after I take Shael's friend home then take Shael over to Mike's Mom's, Mike and I are going to go for a bike ride. He asked me where I wanted to go and I said Eureka Springs, AR. That'll be a blast if we really end up going there. I'm not sure if we will, but anywhere will be fine with me.
*
Mike and I finally got into it Wednesday night when I got home from church. I feel like we finally got something resolved this time, too. He did bring up the concert, I knew he couldn't resist, but I wisely kept my mouth shut because I really didn't want to open up a whole new can of worms. The concert was a jab at me that he wanted to start, but I didn't go there. He was baiting me, but I didn't bite. Instead, I guided it another direction and we actually made up before going to bed that night. And not just made up, either. We learned a few things about each other that I think will make our life easier.
I was telling a friend of mine that I learned that it makes Mike feel better when I tell him he looks good or smells good than when I hug or kiss him. He feels more loved by me when I do his laundry than when I touch him. I didn't know that and all this time I've been trying to show my love by hugging and kissing and touching. He feels more loved when I tell him I'm proud of him than when I sit next to him.
He found out that I'm opposite of that. I need those hugs and kisses and touches. I love it when he comes and sits next to me. But, now I'll know that when he does the occasional load of laundry that he genuinely loves me and is expressing it by helping me do something that he appreciates me doing for him.
Sound strange? Read this to know what I'm talking about. Or even this.

That's All

Just as I thought it was going alright
I find out I'm wrong, when I thought I was right
It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all
I could say day, and you'd say night
tell me it's black when I know that it's white
it's always the same, it's just a shame,
that's all

I could leave but I won't go
though my heart might tell me so
I can't feel a thing from my head down to my toes
but why does it always seem to be
me looking at you, you looking at me
it's always the same, it's just a shame,
that's all

Turning me on, turning me off,
making me feel like I want too much
living with you's just putting me through it all of the time
running around, staying out all night
taking it all instead of taking one bite
living with you's just putting me through it all of the time

I could leave but I won't go
it'd be easier I know
I can't feel a thing from my head down to my toes
but why does it always seem to be
me looking at you, you looking at me
it's always the same, it's just a shame,
that's all

Truth is I love you
more than I wanted to
there's no point in trying to pretend
there's been no-one who
makes me feel like you do
say we'll be together till the end

I could leave but I won't go
it'd be easier I know
I can't feel a thing from my head down to my toes
so why does it always seem to be
me looking at you, you looking at me
it's always the same, it's just a shame,
that's all

just as I thought it was going alright
I find out I'm wrong when I thought I was right
it's always the same, it's just a shame,
that's all

I could say day, you'd say night
tell me it's black when I know that it's white
it's always the same, it's just a shame,
that's all

That's all

I Gotta

Artist: Wynette, Tammy
LyricsSong: Stand by Your Man

Sometimes its hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand
But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man

Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can

Stand by your man

Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

Head Games

Head Games by Foreigner
Daylight, alright
I don't know, I don't know if it's real
Been a long night and something ain't right
You won't show, you won't show how you feel
No time ever seems right
To talk about the reasons why you and I fight
It's high time to draw the line
Put an end to this game before it's too late

Head games, it's you and me baby
Head games, and I can't take it anymore
Head games, I don't wanna play the...
Head games

I daydream for hours it seems
I keep thinkin' of you, yeah, thinkin' of you
These daydreams, what do they mean?
They keep haunting me, are they warning me?
Daylight turns into night
We try and find the answer but it's nowhere in sight
It's always the same and you know who's to blame
You know what I'm sayin', still we keep on playin'

Head games, that's all I get from you
Head games, and I can't take it anymore
Head games, don't wanna play the...
Head games

So near, so far away
We pass each other by 'cause we don't know what to say
It's so clear, I'm sorry to say
But if you wanna win you gotta learn how to play
Head games, always you and me, baby
Head games, 'till I can't take it anymore
Head games, instead of makin' love
Head games, ooh
Head games, always you and me, baby
Head games, 'till I can't take it anymore, no more
Head games, instead of makin' love, we play
Head gamesHead games, in the first degree
Head games, yeah, always you and me
Head games, why do you do it baby?
Head games

I Knew It

I knew he'd make it all my fault. He's so sorry that he had fun without me. Ugh! Whatever!
That T-shirt I got for him, I'm taking it back. He won't be wearing it now. He can have my Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt.
Jerk.
*
I really should quit dissin my man on here. But, I'm so aggravated that I have to complain to someone. Every time I think about him I start tearing up. I'm so upset, I even ate an entire box of Girl Scout cookies. The thin mint ones, so there were quite a few to eat. Not at one sitting, but it's only a little bit after noon and I started them at 7:30 this morning. Why do I abuse myself this way?
Man, I suck. But, I know I'm not the only one.

Today Is A Fog. Literally

I got home at 3:00 a.m. The alarm went off at 5:00 a.m. Happy, happy, joy, joy. I didn't get up, needless to say. I did, however, get up around 6:30. I got Shael up and around, took her to school, came home and was back in bed by 9:00. I slept hard until 12:30 when I started waking up and feeling groggy. At 12:40 Mike comes home and says that he's going to go on a bike ride. Without me. I asked to go and he told me no. Then he gave this reason that it was because he was going with Jim and he didn't know where they might end up going and he didn't know if he could get me to school on time. Bull hockey. He just didn't want me to go and I was mad. Mad, I say! MAD! How many times in the last two weeks have I asked him to take off work a couple hours early so we could take a little bike ride before he had to go work on the garage? Many, many times. He wouldn't do it. The day he finally does do it, he takes Jim instead of me. I was so mad, I honestly wanted to beat the crap out of him. Just tie him up somewhere and get me a Louisville Slugger and make him pay, dang it. I've simmered somewhat, but, still irked at him. I'm not happy with him at all. My personal opinion is, he's mad at me and paying me back for going to the concert last night when he didn't get to go. Big baby. I'm sure he would totally deny it if I mentioned my theory, but it makes sense to me. The real shitty part was, when I got to class tonight, there was a tiny note on the door that said "Class canceled". Thanks for the heads up. I drove all the way in to Grove, I'm at least going to use the computer for a bit. I also found out that my class tomorrow is canceled, too. At least I found out before I came into town.
*
Okay, on to better brighter subjects. The concert. It was amazing. Eric Clapton may be close to my Dad's age, and I canNOT see my Dad being an old rocker like that, but the dude has got the moves. He still plays so effortless looking. I saw on a web site that The Ford Center is known for having really bad sound quality, but it sounded great last night. I was impressed. It wasn't so loud that you couldn't understand it, it was perfect. Robert Cray opened, but we didn't get to hear much of him, even though I would have liked to. Instead we were out standing in line to buy T-shirts. T-shirts that we EXPENSIVE! Holy Cow! But, I got one.
For a complete set list, you can click here for the linky dinky.
*
My sis and I had a great time. We parked, actually, we got a great parking spot right close to the Ford Center, then we went walking around Brick Town. We ended up eating at the Spaghetti Warehouse. Instead of waiting for a table, we ate in the bar and just had appetizers. That way we didn't have to wait so long, because we really didn't have the time to wait around. I was a little disappointed in my food, it was all deep fried, every morsel. But, it was okay, I didn't end up eating it all, just kind of nibbled around. I was really too excited to eat much, anyway.
When we finally got in the arena, and in our correct seats (we actually sat in the wrong section for the last 10 minutes or so of the opening act) we didn't have to wait long for the action to start. About 30 seconds into the first song, Tell The Truth, we both smelled pot at the same time. We could smell it intermittently through the whole concert. I was wondering how high a person can get, if at all, from second hand pot smoke. She had two beers and second hand pot smoke, whoa. Can that be good?
*
But, anyway, it was awesome. The whole experience. I'm so glad I got the chance to do that. I grabbed a Frappacino on the way out of the city hoping that it would help me stay alert on the way home. I don't know if that's what did it, but I made it home without getting too sleepy. But, today has been weird. You know how you feel when you lose a day by sleeping.
*
When I went to pick Shael up from school, the entire yard was smokey. Then I looked around and noticed it wasn't just my yard, but every body's yard. Everywhere was smoke. The fields, the woods. It made the sunlight look weak and strange. I drove a few miles expecting it to lift and it never did. All the way into Wyandotte, that's about 14 miles, it was smokey. Shael said even downtown Wyandotte was smokey. I only went to the beauty shop to pick her up off the bus. It was downright eerie. Like something out of Stephen King's The Mist. Ooooo, creeeepy. I never saw a flame or heard a fire truck. But the smoke covered miles and miles of real estate.
*
Well, I think I'll go home. I left Shael there at the house by herself. I know she can take care of herself, but she was on the Internet when I left and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that idea. Mike is probably off somewhere at some sleazy bar and won't be home for several more hours, so, since my class was canceled, I'd better go home and be the good parent.
Ta.

Just Another Monday

It's not really manic, just a Monday. I got Shael to school earlier than I normally do, so it had me turning up at my school 20 minutes early this morning. So, here I am in the computer lab waiting for my class to start.
*
I had a pretty decent weekend. Friday afternoon I went to pick Shael up early from school and took her to the church to meet the gang for their annual "Acquire The Fire" trip. She was so excited she had a hard time falling asleep the entire week. But, it finally got here and was over in no time. She had a great time, except she didn't care much for the concerts. My daughter, sometimes I really don't know where she comes from, she's not much of a head banger. Well, actually, she's not any kind of a head banger. And there were some head banger bands there, bands that I would have liked to have seen. She said they gave her a head ache. Both her parents are head bangers. She must get that gene from my Mom.
*
Thinking of concerts, I get to go see Eric Clapton tonight in OKC. I'm so excited. My sister called me yesterday and told me she'd come across some tickets and wanted to know if I was interested in going with her. I don't know how many people she asked before me, and frankly, I don't care. I'm going to see Eric Clapton! How cool is that? I was thinking about it this morning, wondering what the average age of the audience is going to be tonight. It's going to be a late night tonight. Hope I don't have to work tomorrow. lol. We'll see.
*
Saturday afternoon, Mikey was working on my Dad's garage (again) and since Shael was gone, I went off to go shopping by myself in Joplin. I had such a nice time. I tried on hundreds of pairs (it seemed like) of capris until I found the right ones. It turns out, I no longer need to shop in the Women's section. YAY! No more 18W (18 Wide, is what we all call it). I actually tried on a pair of 16W and they, too, were too big. So, the sales lady hooked me up with some 16's in the Jr/Miss section and whadaya know? They fit! I was so happy.
Before I even made it to Joplin, I stopped at Mom's and tried on a pair of leather pants that I've tried on several times, and mourned over the fact that they were WAY too small. Guess what? They fit now. I put them on and went down to the garage and showed Mike. It felt awesome.
*
Well, guess I should shove off. Class should be starting in about 3 or 4 minutes. Talk to you all later. I'll give an update on the concert.
Ta!