I Hate When That Happens

Something happened or was said Saturday afternoon that was so frickin hilarious, I was going to tell one of my friends about it. By Saturday evening, I couldn't even remember what it was. So much for giving that friend a good laugh. Must've been a real good one, I can't even remember it.

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Saturday was so rushed, it went by in a blur. A very hot blur, I might add. I got up around 7:30 and did two loads of laundry, I had to if I wanted to be clothed when I left the house. Two loads done, five more to go. But those five loads would have to wait. When I finally had something clean to wear, I left for Joplin to pick up our Angel Food. Since I was going to be in Joplin anyway, I had a couple things I wanted to do so I went and did those first. As I was getting on I-44 my phone rang and it was Mike asking me to stop by the Harley Shop to get an oil filter for Mitchell because he got the wrong one. Okay, add one more item on my things to do list. First, I went to Tuesday Morning to buy the thing I'd seen two weeks ago when I didn't have any money. I got in there and couldn't find it. They'd moved it, but I finally found it and ended up spending nearly $30 on that one item plus several more items that were just too dern cheap to pass up. I got a whole armful of things for $27, what a deal! From there I went to Hobby Lobby and lo and behold, they were in the process of moving stuff, too. Why can't these stores just leave things in the same place instead of confusing the customers and making us wonder around like chickens with our heads cut off? Impulse buyers, I guess, but I didn't do any of that, I knew what I wanted and that's all I bought. I spent $27 there, too. Weird. I paid $7.99 for a spool of thread, can you believe that? It's very thin, nylon thread to sew beads on to the pair of moccasins I bought Nikolas in S.D. I didn't even look at the price, I knew I needed it so I picked it up and carried it to the cashier. When I plopped that spool down and I saw the price, my eyes bulged from my head. The woman in front of me suggested fishing wire, it's cheap, but I'm not sure that fishing line comes in that fine a thread. It's a very fine, clear thread. Oh, well. It's only money.

Then I went and got our groceries at the church between Wall and Joplin streets. I couldn't remember which street was northbound and which was southbound, but it turned out it didn't really matter because the church took up the whole block and I could get to it from either street.

Then I went south to the Harley Shop and got that oil filter for my cousin, hoping that I was getting the right one so I wouldn't screw up. That went smoothly, Mike had already called and they had the right one set out already when I got there. All I had to wait on was the guy to ring it up. I was in and out in less than five minutes.

I got that taken care of and headed home. Well, by way of the beauty shop, that is. But first, I stopped at D.Q and got me a burger and a french vanilla Moolatte. I have found a new addiction. YUM. Naturally, there was a huge order in front of mine, so by the time I actually got my burger, my Moolatte was empty. The burger was too hot to eat right away, and since I'd gotten it to go, I headed on to the beauty shop to drop off Mom's and Roni's groceries that I'd picked up. That took me a while to unload that stuff and get on out of there. (I was also suppose to pick up another lady's groceries and I messed up and didn't get hers. I always have a way of screwing things up, it seems)

I stopped by Mitchell's house and practically threw the oil filter at them and flew home. When he tried to pay me, I didn't have time to wait for him to dig out his money, so I told him to pay Mike. That's $14 I'll probably never see again.

I got home at 2:21. I had to be at Grove for a wedding that started at 3:00. I rushed in the house and asked Shael to help me with the groceries, which she thank goodness volunteered to put away so I wouldn't have to mess with it. Then I quickly wrapped a little present I had for the bride, made a tag to match, washed my smelly armpits and applied fresh deo and was out the door again in 20 minutes. As I may have mentioned, I've been stuck driving the Suburban which has no a/c. My hair was wild from the wind and the hat I'd been wearing to keep my hair half way tamed in the wind. I had sweat pouring off me and oozing down every crack and crevice on my body. And despite the armpit wash and fresh deo, I still smelled bad. I pulled into the church parking lot at straight up 3:00. I ran inside, yes, I literally ran, and the grandparents were being seated by the ushers. I stood there and waited a minute until there was a break in the traffic and several of us late comers were told to go find a seat. We didn't really interrupt, so all was well. But I was so embarrassed because I was so hot, my hair was wet from sweat and I smelled like I'd been wrestling goats. I swear, I could smell myself, I know the poor kid beside me could smell me, too. I distanced myself from my neighbors on each side with a seat so maybe that would be kind of a buffer between us so they wouldn't have to smell me. It was bad, I tell ya.

After the wedding, I didn't stay for the reception, I was way to embarrassed by my appearance and odor. I left and met up with Mikey and Mitchell,who had installed his new oil filter and Mitchell's girlfriend, Theresa. We got on the bikes and took off. We went back to Joplin and messed around up there for a while then went to eat at a Chinese place in Neosho. Very dangerous for me, but I lived dangerously that day. We took the scenic route home and I stayed home after that. I had been sweating and smothering all day. I wanted to be home in the cool air for a change. Plus, I felt like I really needed to be a responsible parent and be there for Shael who had been home by herself all day. Off and on Mike and I were there with her throughout the day, but for the most part, she was there alone.

Mike, not wanting to be the responsible parent, went to a party. I told him he was going out to play "high school" and I was going home to be the grown up. The party he was going to ended up being a day time party because when he got there it was already over. So, instead of coming home, he goes to the VFW for a while then on to The Pelican. Remember the DIVE? Yeah. That's the one. *sigh* He'd already been to it once that day while I was at the wedding. I hate my husband going to bars. Bars are for sad, pathetic, lonely people who don't have anything better to do. Not for husbands and fathers with families at home wishing they'd come home to spend time with them.

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No more of that talk or I'll get pissed all over again. Wait, too late!

Now I've got to go. Monday has rolled around again and I barely had a weekend. Next weekend will be just the same. I have a family reunion at noon, a baby shower at 2:00 and an anniversary party at 2:00 that I'm going to have to miss. I will make sure and let them know that I won't be able to make it and send them a card. Because I know how it feels to throw an anniversary party that people don't show up for.

Have a Monday. I mean a good Monday.

Yeah.

Whatever.

I Won't Name Names, But Y'all Know Who This Is For

Silly Goose

You know the song, the song that every parent of a Barney loving toddler knows until the toddler is well into his teens, Down By The Bay. My daughter, ever the spawn of her father, changed the words up a bit today. I heard her walking down the hall at the day care singing these words:

Down by the bay

Where the watermelon grow

Back to my home

Is where I'll go

And if I do

My Mother will say

"Have you ever seen a goose

Dropping a deuce?"

Down by the bay!

Search Me

My recent keyword searches have been strange, indeed. Whereas most people find me by searching for Love is a Battlefield by Papoose (Okay, who is this Papoose, anyway? Don't people know that Pat Benetar sang that song?) I have found a few strange ones mixed in the bunch. There's Sports Tattoo, and How many ounces in a pitcher of beer. But I think my personal favorite might be naked in front of her humiliated girls boy.

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Well, as of now, I am still employed. We all feel like it's an any day situation. And I personally feel like I could be singled out and fired for no reason whatsoever, strictly on the fact that I'm my Dad's daughter. You all think I'm kidding or blowing things out of proportion, I'm not. Every person who has shown their support for my Dad and let it be publicly known that they do not support the current Chief has been fired. For no reason. There have been others who have been publicly cussed out and humiliated and they have quit on principle. Yes, I think I might have, too. Every person over in that office next to the day care is a Chief ass kisser. That leaves us over at the day care feeling very vulnerable because none of us, not one, is a supporter of this Napoleon wannabe. And I'm not talking Dynamite here, either.
I've promised myself that I would keep my mouth shut and not speak any negative about this current chief and/or the Tribe. But it's difficult because Paul Spicer is such a dick! Oops, did I say that? Lord, I apologize. What is it Larry the Cable Guy says about those starving pygmies?

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Wednesday, driving through Kansas, we saw an amazing and beautiful sight. A wind farm. Anybody know what I'm talking about? Rows and rows of gigantic windmills spinning in the wind, generating who knows how much energy. I think they are an awesome sight to behold. Shael was not impressed. Everything I thought was cool she was all "Yeah, whatever. Big deal" Like the sunflower fields, how gorgeous are those? Shael was underwhelmed by those, too. She wouldn't even get out of the vehicle when we stopped at the center of the lower 48. I know when she gets older, she will probably only remember "the four heads" as she called them, and the wild burros. Maybe 1880 town. Not much else made an impression on her. Knowing her, she'll probably remember the 80 degree swimming pool we swam (and shivered) in and the fact that she ate pop tarts when she got out.
My memory of that swimming pool will be the little boy who crapped his pants then lost a turd while he was running around. His Mama grabbed him up real quick and took off with him, leaving the turd on the floor. Mom and I were sitting at a table laughing about it when this guy comes walking in to the pool area and barely missed stepping on it. Like by an inch. The poor guy was oblivious to the fact that he almost squashed a human turd with his skinny little flip flop clad foot, while Mom and I were watching and nearly falling off our lawn chairs laughing at him. Shortly after the near hit, the kid's Mama came back in with a napkin and picked the turd up and threw it in the trash. That made us laugh even harder.
Oh, the funny things that kids do.

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I guess I'm off to go get cleaned up for what could very possibly be my last day of work. I hate this uncertainty!

That's Shael trying to feed the wild burro but chickening out at the last second. She dropped that Oreo like it was a hot coal and jumped back. I snapped the picture just as she jumped back and got Mom laughing at her. Mike was laughing pretty hard, too.

Home

Home.

Sweet Home.

I can crap in my pot.
Wash in hard water.
Sleep in my bed that has no tucked corners.
Home.

Sweet Home.

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Sorry, I watched "So I Married An Axe Murderer" recently.

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But, yes, we are home. We packed so much in to 5-1/2 days. We left Friday but didn't get out of Joplin until almost 6:00 in the evening. We drove and drove and drove and drove until we finally stopped somewhere in Iowa. 40 miles south of Sioux City. That was a long haul. The next morning we made it to Rapid City, SD somewhere around 9:00 Mountain Time. On Sunday, we got up and crammed a bunch of stuff into one day. Monday, we crammed more stuff into one day and headed back toward home in the process. We didn't make it far. Tuesday we did more stuff and didn't even leave western SD until 2:00 in the afternoon. We drove off toward home in a different way than we'd come. We stopped somewhere in Nebraska last night then got up early this morning and drove the rest of the way home. We got home around 6:45 this evening. Here are the highlights of our trip.

• Mt. Rushmore
• Crazy Horse Monument
• Deadwood
• Sturgis
• Pioneer Auto Museum
• Badlands
• Grasslands
• Wall Drug
• 1880 Town

And here are some of the other highlights that were just chance happenings along the way.

• watched a stealth bomber fly maneuvers
• took a wrong turn that turned out to be the most beautiful drive
• ran into a pack of wild burros and fed and pet them (seems they love Oreos and bananas)
• did some minor rock climbing on the wrong turn road
• did some more climbing in the badlands, but that was dried mud
• watched a "town" of black footed ferrets (kind of like prairie dogs)
• watched many towns of prairie dogs
• fed prairie dogs (they like Oreos, too. And jelly beans)
• saw wild goats
• saw a buffalo
• stopped at Al's Oasis (nice tourist trap)
• got to pet Buck, AKA Cisco, from "Dances With Wolves" (very cool, btw)
• drove through Rosebud Indian Reservation
• watched a "gun fight" in Deadwood
• Mike and Daddy gambled in Deadwood, but Mom and I walked through downtown with Shael
• saw a ghost town
• stopped at the geographical center of the continental United States, near Lebanon, KS
• and last but certainly not least, paid outrageous amounts of money to stay in motels, some of which were dumps.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a few things and I'll think of them later. But for now, that's all folks.

Melting Clock

Answers

Okay, time for some answers to some of those comments people have been leaving. I have been really bad about keeping up with them lately. I'll read the comments when they get sent to my email address, but somehow always forget to answer questions when I'm posting.

First of all, Cap'n N and Mother, I had completely forgotten about the going outside and screaming our undying devotion to the rock star. The funny thing is, I can only vaguely remember the incident and it seems to me like it might have been, maybe, Rick Springfield? Maybe not, I think we might have celebrated a D-2 member's birthday, also. We did so many silly, silly, silly things, it's sometimes hard to remember some of them.

The Vagina Vampire. Yes. It could scar anybody for life. I believe it has, and that's what's wrong with me.

Christy, Mike's tattoo is of Father Time holding an hour glass. He plans on getting an addition to it later. I can't remember if I made this comment or not, but he's going to get a Salvador Dali melted clock added around the edge to kind of tie the whole "time" theme together.

Well, I was thinking I had more comments to comment on. I'll have to go back and look through them again. Right now, I'm feeling soooo sleepy. No caffeine here tonight. *Yawn*

No caffeine For You!

If only the Soup Nazi would have been around last night to tell me. I went out to dinner with my friend, Kami, and I drank three glasses of iced tea. Then for dessert, a nice slice of tirimasu. HELLO! What was I thinking? I wasn't, really. I left there and went to church, then came home. Bedtime came and went but I wasn't sleepy at all. I was watching AFV and kept bugging Mike with my laughter. After seeing a commercial for Scrubs that had me to stifling a laugh but choking on my own spit, I got up. The commercial was too funny, it was the one where they were looking at an X-ray and the doctor says "Well, there's either a lightbulb up this guy's butt or his colon has a really good idea". LMAO!!

I finally ended up going to bed around 1:00. Then waking up around 5:30. I didn't get up, but dozed in and out until 7:15 when I finally dragged my lazy butt out of bed. I made Shael stay home today and left her with a list of things to do by 4:30. She was the one who woke me up asking me if I'd made her list yet. When I got home at 5:15, it didn't look like she'd done much. While she was standing there arguing with her dad about what all she did today (can you say "watched TV"?) I came in like a stealth bomber and switched her. Who-Yah. She tried to tell me that I hurt her. Okay, why does she do this every time? Of course it hurts, that's kind of the point. After that she cleaned the house a little better. Brat.

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I'm going on vacation! I'm going on vacation! We decided Tuesday that we were going to take a short vacation to South Dakota to see Mount Rushmore. We're taking off tomorrow, Friday. A little spur of the moment, I know, but it turned out that this was the only chance we were going to have so we decided to go for it. My parents are going also, it was originally my Dad's idea, then Mom mentioned that they should invite someone to go along with them to help with the gas money. This is where we fit into the picture. Mom asked us if we were interested and that is all it took. She asked Mike first and he didn't even mention it to me. I don't think he thought she was serious. She asked me at that wedding Saturday and by Tuesday I had a date all planned. We are to leave Friday when Mom gets off work. Now I can't wait. I'll make sure and take some pictures that I can post on here. Hopefully with my little Kodak Easy Share the Prez Heads won't look like little ants.

Part Two

The continuation of my friends tribute. First up, Chloe.

Now Chloe and I never were super close, but, that girl could keep a secret if I was ever bursting at the seams with one. I could tell her anything and feel confident that it would remain a secret. The quietest one of our bunch, inside that quietness was a devious little sense of humor. Oooh, I liked that. She could play stunts and tricks on people and nobody would ever guess it was her! She would sit back and go "Hmm, I wonder who could've done that?" People just never suspected that quiet girl of doing anything of the sort. She was always fun to have around and when boys entered the picture, she was the first one to experience a lot of things and we would all gather around and listen to her talk about it. Oh, how enthralled we all were. Even DeLisa, who pretended to be disgusted, I'm sure was just as interested as the rest of us were.

I was to be a bride's maid at her called off wedding. I have admired her for that act of terrified desperation. I know other people who know they should call of their weddings but don't because they feel the ball is rolling too fast and couldn't possibly be stopped at the last minute. But she stopped it, two days before the wedding. And it was a big wedding with four of us bride's maids already with hand sewn dresses that were made specifically for us and died shoes to match. All four of us bride's maids were so relieved when she called it off. I went to a wedding last Saturday where the bride had FIVE bride's maids and all five of them were smiling as big as the bride. That's the way it should be. At Chloe's wedding, I don't think the four of us maids would have been smiling. Choking back bitter tears, maybe.

But, she called it off in the nick of time. The guy went a little mad for a while, but he soon recovered and married someone else and started a new life. Good for him. Chloe started a new life, too. With one of our classmates, Keeling. Now they have three gorgeous blond kids and a spotless house. I'm so jealous of that clean house! It would take a live in house keeper to keep my house that clean. Her and Keeling and Mike and me are the only two couples from our Wyandotte class of 1991. And both of us are still married...Yay! Everybody else married someone older, or younger, or not even from the same school. Which is more common than marrying someone that you graduated with. Maybe because neither one of us married our high school sweethearts, just someone who happened to be in our class that we never took a second look at until we were out of high school.

Next up, Christy. What can I say? The silliest, most funny, most fun to be around girl I ever was friends with. Always ready with a smile, or a funny story to make you laugh. You can't help but smile when you are around this lady. Of course, Christy, you know I have to tell our two favorite stories. They are priceless and every time we are together, they get brought up and we laugh all over again.

We were always friends in high school, but it was after we both got married and had babies that we really got close. She started working in my Mom's beauty shop that just happen to be right next door to my house. I worked over there on Mondays and Tuesdays and she worked those days with me. Shael was six months old when she started and her son was a year old. Not only did our kids get to grow up together, but we got some grown up company besides our husbands and our husbands even liked each other.

One Monday we were trying on clothes, something we did quite often since it's a clothing store also. Christy decided she wanted to try on something but use a girdle underneath to see if it helped smooth out any bulges she might have had. We knew that there was a girdle around there someplace that was pants. Actually, I think they came down just right above the knee. We looked and looked and couldn't find it. We thought Mom must've sold it without us knowing about it. All we could find was this skirt girdle. So Christy starts putting it on. And she squeezes and huffs and puffs and finally she gets this girdle on. It's super tight and she can barely walk. I was kind of giggling at watching her try to put this thing on. When it's finally on and her legs won't even take a regular stride I said "How could anyone wear this? You can't even walk normal!" Then I saw this "thing" on her butt. I kind of half way laughed and said "What's this" and grabbed this wide tail looking thing that was on her butt. She turned around and looked at it and starts laughing hysterically. She finally managed to stutter out "It's the pants!" Turns out she had on the pants we were looking for only she put both of her legs in one leg hole. The other pant leg was hanging off her butt. I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. I laughed so hard that I literally dropped to the floor and was rolling around trying to catch my breath. That pant leg was so tight, it was all the way on and up to her waist, that when I calmed down enough, I had to pull them off her. I got on my knees beside her and tugged and yanked until they finally came off. Tears still streaming down my face. We had the hardest time even telling my Mom about it because we kept laughing so hard. We told our husbands about it and no one else thought it was nearly as funny as it really was. Just got a few chuckles out of it. Trust me, it was a riot.

This next story involves K-Mart and Easter lilies. Her and I, along with our husbands, had gone to Joplin for dinner and a movie. I'm not sure if this was the same night we went and saw "Blink" and Christy and I screamed all the way through it while Mark and Mike kept looking at each other and rolling their eyes. But anyway, we were at K-Mart and it was around Easter and they had their Easter lilies on display in a center aisle. I bent down and took a big sniff and they smelled oh, so good. I said "Mmmm, Christy, you've got to smell these, they smell so good", so she bends down and takes a big sniff. "Mmmm, they do smell good" she said. But when she stood back up and looked at me (I'm having a hard time getting this typed,I keep laughing) I immediately started laughing my butt off. I couldn't even talk so I pointed to my own nose. She put both hands over her nose and took off running looking for a mirror. She found one not too far away in the men's clothing and took a look at herself. The entire end of her nose was covered with bright orange pollen. I hadn't meant for her to do that, I didn't even know those flowers would do that. But when she looked back up at me and her nose looked like a clown nose, it stuck a chord in me that got me tickled beyond talking. I made my way over to her, still laughing, and she was laughing by then and I kept trying to tell her that I didn't do it on purpose. Our husbands found us in the men's clothing, doubled over and making quite a scene. They walked right on by like they didn't know us. Which only made us laugh all the harder. When we calmed down enough, we found them at the front of the store waiting for us. We told them the whole story when we got out in the car. Once again, they hardly even laughed and Christy and I were in the back seat crying all over again because we were laughing so hard. You'd think they'd at least laugh at us laughing, but after we told them our story, they did a small chuckle then started talking about something altogether different. Christy and I looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and laughed all over again.

Christy and I also share a love for used book stores. When they moved to West Plains, Mo, we came out and visited and spent the night at their house. Mike went to work with Mark the next day on his Frito Lay route and Christy and I spent the day browsing through an old used book store. It was there that I found my beloved hard back copy of The Thorn Birds. I was prepared to spend any amount of money because I had been looking for a hard back copy for 10 years or more. It's an original 1977 hard back edition still with it's dust cover. For $1.50. I squealed right there in that book store. What was the name of that bookstore?

Once again, life got in the way and I don't get to see or talk to Christy much anymore. Our kids are in the same grade at the same school now, so we get to see each other at various school functions. The woman who sat behind us at the Spring Band Concert said she enjoyed sitting behind us and hearing us have such a good time with each other's company.

She called a couple times to check on me when my Pastor passed away a few months ago. Thank you, honey, that was so nice of you and I appreciated it more than you'll ever know. Call me back and give me your phone number again because when Shael cleaned the living room a while back, she threw away the piece of paper that had your number written on it. Of all times for her to decide to actually throw something away. I even had it right next to the phone. It also had the number of the math tutor on it, so I'm thinking she may have done it on purpose.

Then there's DeLisa. A girl so temperamental, I could never understand her. A girl who once she started her period started thinking that if vampires were real, why didn't they just go after girls who were on the rag instead of biting people on the necks and making them into vampires, too. Thus the phrase "I vant to suck your vagina!" started. Any body else remember this or am I just a sick individual who only remembers the worst things? On the last day of school one year, we found this sickly little frog over by the band room door. He was nearly dead ( I hope) and we kept trying to make it jump but it wouldn't. So, instead of leaving it alone, we, these two little wicked girls, started playing kick ball with it. Kick Frog. We'd kick it then pretend to run to first, second, third, then home. "And the crowd goes wild...haaaaaahhhhhh!" We kicked it back and forth like a hackey sack for a while. Then we took photos of the crime scene. I still have a picture of that frog. A close up of the poor creature with it's arms and legs all pulled up against its body. We finally abandoned it when the bell rang it and we were free for the summer. I never thought of it again until I got my pictures back. Oh, the poor frog, what were we thinking? You've heard the phrase "Ignorance gone to seed"? I think that was "boredom gone to seed".

My high school sweetheart was her first cousin and for some reason she was adamantly against me dating him. So we quit being friends over a stupid boy. When Jerry and I were no longer an item, she had herself a serious boyfriend and didn't talk much to me anymore. After high school and our brief stint in college, we became closer than we ever were when we were younger. She got married and told me that she then looked at everybody differently. Even the teachers. "They've had SEX!" She told me. Well, yeah! Who hasn't, I wanted to say, but I just laughed and told her she'd get over that. And I'm assuming she did.

She had a baby girl about a year after I had my baby girl. Then her life went sour and I didn't even know about it until she finally started to do something about it. She kept it a secret and I felt so bad that she had to carry that burden alone for so long. She lost about 180 pounds, and his name was Gary. Then she became the quintessential single mom. I wanted to do something to help her so bad, but I never knew what. So, I did my usual, the only thing I ever know to do when I want to help someone but don't know exactly what they need. I kept calling her and sending her cards and letters in the mail to try my best at encouraging her. She was working full time and going to school to become a teacher.

Our daughters were in the same pre school together, her daughter in the 3 year old program and mine in the 4 year old program. I went every Tuesday to volunteer. Every Tuesday the entire school year. The teacher there was crappy so say the least. It seemed she would home in on a certain kid and just berate them until they were in tears. Shael was quiet enough to stay below the radar, but one day she homed in on DeLisa's daughter. It might as well have been my daughter and I let this teacher know about it in no uncertain terms. I went to her room after all the kids were out of there, shut the door behind me and prepared for battle. I hate confrontation, but this time it was called for. She tried to fight back but I did not back down. This lady had never seen me like this and honestly, I had never felt like that before. I won. She apologized, not only to me, but to the little girl. When DeLisa got word of it, she was so grateful for having someone take up for her daughter in her place. This teacher, I think, is what inspired DeLisa to go back to school to become a teacher herself. She felt like there needed to be more teachers out there that actually cared for the children. Now she's a teacher, and I'm sure she's an awesome one. She's also found herself a nice man, that all us girls instantly liked (not one of us ever liked her first husband but would never say anything to interfere). She married him and now has a baby brother for her daughter.

I hardly ever get to see DeLisa, about like Christy. Her daughter still goes to Wyandotte and is still a year under Shael. I saw her at the Spring Band Concert, too and you know what she said to me? "Remember that little game of kick ball we played out there on the last day of school that one year?" Oh yeah, I've still got the pictures.

Now, my new friends. Kami and Valerie. I met them both at Jack & Jill's almost two years ago. It really seems like we've known each other forever. Kami and I became instant friends, but Valerie and I took a little more time. But now, I consider her one of my closest friends. I can and usually do, tell her everything.

Kami, like Christy, shares a passion for book stores with me. We can go and spend an entire days in various book stores. And the girl can cook. Yum! She has her own catering business and everything. She's about 7 years younger than me, about the same difference between me and my sister, but age makes no difference. She's very conservative and makes me feel like the wild one. But when you really get to know her, she's really not as conservative as you at first think. She's funny, smart, cute, and I really miss being around her every day. She likes riddles. She was always trying to stump me, and I was always trying to pull one over on her. If my girlhood friends were my secret keepers of my girlhood, then Kami is my secret keeper of my womanhood. I would trust her with anything.

One day at work, I asked her if she could see her own lips when she puckered her mouth out real big. So, she pooched her lips out real fat and her eyes crossed when she was looking down. I started laughing and she stopped and went "Oh! You did that on purpose!"

Then last but not least, there's Valerie. I would say, that other than my BFF, N, Valerie is my BF. It took a while for our friendship to develop, but it really did develop into a strong relationship. I go to her for her opinion on just about everything I need an opinion on. She's a hair dresser, too, so I can even go to her on that subject! I swear, when that woman is around, she brings out the comedian in me. We really do play the parts well together, I'm the punch line person and she's the straight man, or woman, or whatever. We worked together at J&J and now we work together at the Day Care. I don't know how many times we've gotten our director to laughing. She'll go "Oh, oh, oh! Stacie! Tell them that one story!" and I'll know just exactly what "one" she's talking about. We work so well together, we really do bring out the best in each other. When some day, I open up my own day care, I want her there with me.

So, there's my friends. I hope you feel like you know them now. Or, if they're you, I hope you see how I view you. As my friend, whom I love dearly.

Another Stolen Idea

After reading Hillbilly Mom, Just Linda and Diva talk about their friends, I thought I'd do my own tribute. Here's to my friends.

My BF (no not bitch fit, though I'm sure she had one when she read that one post here while back..heh heh) who shall remain anonymous, except for the mysterious letter "N". Those of you who know me, it's so dang simple, you all know who I'm talking about. But, there's a lot of people who don't know me running around out there, and she doesn't want me using her name, so it will remain "N".

Waaaaay back in the first grade, now that's 26 years ago, I was alone and friendless on the play ground. This cute little blond girl comes up to me and asks me if I wanted to play. That's all it took, for years after that we were inseparable. From walking around the play ground with our arms hooked over each others shoulders chanting "buddy, buddy, buddy" to holding hands in my upstairs bedroom singing "Cherish The Love" by Kool & The Gang. We've done all the silly things girls do. She was the first person who ever called me on the telephone. Back when it was a huge deal to get a phone call. I'd pull that huge black rotary phone that the phone company gave us into the coat closet so I could have some privacy. What did we talk about, I wonder, that required such secrecy? I was at her house so often, her brother was sick of me, I'm sure. Then in 7th grade the unimaginable happened. Her family moved to Alabama. Not to Grove, or to Miami, or even to Joplin or Tulsa, but to ALABAMA! And Mobile, the bottom of Alabama, none the less. She stayed with us and her Grandma to finish out the semester, then we packed her things and took her to the airport. She seemed too young to fly by herself, but she was brave and excited and missing her parents something fierce. My best friend left. What was a girl to do? I cried a lot. My grades slipped. I stayed in cheerleading, but it wasn't the same without her there being my partner. Band trips weren't the same without her there sharing the seat with me. Yes, I had other friends, but it just wasn't the same. One friend had a mean dad, another had mean step mom. No one thought like me, or laughed at the same stupid things as me. They weren't her. I knew where the saying "You look like you lost your best friend" came from.

But, believe it or not, we have remained best friends. It has been 20 years since she moved away and we have always kept in touch. Listen to this list of places she's lived. Starting in Alabama, then her and her family moved on to Maine (where they stayed put). She on the other hand, did not stay put. She moved back to Oklahoma a couple times but never for very long. She moved to Russia for a spell, where she met her wonderful husband, she lived in Colorado for a while (and I so kick myself for not just dropping it all and coming out to see you), she lived in Germany for a while. But now she lives in Maine, near her parents and brother. Through all that, I sometimes feel I get to see the world through her eyes.

She was the first person I called when I found out I was pregnant. She was the first person I called when I lost that baby. She was the first person I called, bawling my eyes out when I found out I was pregnant again just 4 weeks after the miscarriage. And she was the first person I called when I went into labor 9 months later. She was in Russia at the time and the phone connections were terrible. I remember hearing my own voice speak back to me before she could even hear me. Her parents called me the day after I had Shael and told me congratulations over the phone. I hadn't had any visitors the whole day, Mike went back to work and I was sitting in the hospital room alone and getting sadder by the moment until they called and perked me right up.

Now, hundreds of miles apart, each with our own little girls, husbands, and lives, we don't get to see much of each other. We have even grown to opposite ends of the political spectrum. But it makes no difference to me. I still love her like she was that little blond girl I use to pal around with chanting "buddy, buddy, buddy".

Then there's the Diva. A woman who knows all of my secrets. Mainly because she was there committing the crimes with me. My first memory of her is somewhere around the 2nd grade. Even though we went to the same school, and it was a small school, we weren't in the same class (Ha! That sounds so funny, but you know what I mean!). My BF and her somehow became friends and Diva got us all together to sing this little song in front of Ms. Brewster's class. The words were "Peanut, peanut butter. And jelly" and I swear that's the only words I ever knew. I just got up there and froze while Diva and my BF and a couple other kids actually sang the song. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I was incredibly shy. So for me to get in front of an entire class, I'm sure I must've been about to pee my pants. After that really embarrassing memory, we became fast friends. Third grade came and we both got Mrs. Elliot. She had the desks sitting three in a row and I had my BF on one side of me and Diva on the other. What else could a girl want? I remember I dropped something one time and got down on the floor to pick it up and I saw a staple stuck in the carpet. That can't be good, I thought, so I tried to pick it up. Somehow I got it stuck in my finger and in the carpet at the same time. Oh, trauma! Diva looks down and sees me crying and asks me what's wrong and I tell her. She actually got down under my desk with me and freed my finger from the clutches of that nasty staple. Man, what a great friend.

Diva was always reading these thick books, like Little House In The Big Woods and Charlotte's Web while I was going through my "I don't like to read" phase. She also had this extensive vocabulary for a third grader. One day (and I know she knows what story is coming LOL) she bent over for something and burped up part of her lunch. She spit it out on the floor real fast and raised her hand all prim and proper. "Yes?" asked Mrs. Elliot. "Mrs. Elliot? I vomited" . Vomited? What's that? I went home and asked my mom what vomit was. She looked at me funny and said "Throw up". Aha! It was like a light bulb went on over my head. Well, why didn't she just say "Mrs. Elliot, I puked" I wondered to myself. Me, with my vocab of puke, fart and crap. Her with her vocab of vomit, flatulence, and poo-poo.

In the 7th grade when our "fab five" turned into "fab four" then gradually divided off into even smaller numbers, Diva and I stayed friends. She was a band geek with me. And still the walking dictionary. She was always the one to carry the calculator in her purse so we could divide up the bill at Pizza Hut equally. I loved to tease her more than any of my other friends because she was so good natured about it. My other friends would always get all huffy and mad at me, but Diva would just laugh and say "good one, Stace!" We discovered we had a whole lot in common, mainly our quirky sense of humor.

Then the inevitable happened. Boys. What will test and try a girl's friendship with her girlfriends more than a boyfriend? Nothing. I got my Jerry and she got her Brad. Though we still were friends, we didn't spend as much time together. My preoccupation with Jerry was a killer on all my friendships. So, when Jerry was a thing of the past, all my friends had moved on to other relationships. Yes, we still talked and were friendly, we just didn't hang out much. My senior year of high school was the PITS! If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't. It was that bad.

Move on to the brief year of college. Diva and I had a couple classes together and it fired up our friendship again. We hung out, not much, but what time we could. It was during that year that Mike came into the picture. The only other girlfriend Mike ever had was Diva. Thanks for breaking him in for me, Diva! lol. Diva was having a rough year, with her parents divorce and the heartbreak her ex was putting her through. I tried to be there for her, but between working part time and going to school full time and having a full time fiance, I'm sure I wasn't much help. Sorry, Diva. I'm scum.

As it turned out, her and I ended up getting married the same year. Her to this old man (OH! I'm SO kidding! lol) that I use to know by the name of Bugger, and me to my Mikey. She was there for me when I lost the baby, and she was there for me when I had Shael. Her and our friend, Chloe, came over to my house to see the new bundle of joy. Her heart must've ached at the sight since she was trying to have a baby but without success.

Then one day as Mike and I were dropping Mike's dad off at one of his friends, I walked two doors down to drop in on my Diva friend. Outside on her porch, I saw this black and white computer box. When I rang her doorbell, I felt a little weird, just dropping in unannounced like that, but when she saw me, her eyes got great big and her arms flew around me. "STACIE!!!" It had been a good two years since I'd seen her. She had just gotten her computer that day and her sister and brother in law were there and the men were hooking it up for her. By then, she had two precious babies and her sister was pregnant with her second one. I left about 30 minutes later, with a lighter heart and a promise to keep in touch. A couple months later, I became Internet-ified. I called her up,( and I'll never forget that phone number you goob) and visited a few minutes before I mentioned the fact that I now had Internet access and wanted her email address. Heaven only know that it was the beginning of a love affair. Email love affair. We loved sending each other email, I'm telling you! Those first few years, I must've filled out 250 surveys and passed them on to her, fwd thousands of funny pictures and countless little funnies.

We started having girls nights out with the old gang. Having loads of fun. Then life butted in again, and we slowed down with the emails. She had a third precious baby to add to her collection. Mike and I moved and I eventually went back to work. My going back to work was the obstacle that kept us from having more lunches together like we use to and finding a free evening to go out with the girls. But, we'll always have email. And now blogs.

I feel like I'm right there in her life, even though we don't talk often, or even email very often. I keep up with her on her blog. And she keeps up with me on mine. Strange how life plays out. Let's have lunch, Diva.

This post has played out a little longer than I expected. I'll have to say ...to be continued.

Next post: Christy, Chloe, DeLisa, and my new friends that I love just as much as my "old" friends, Valerie and Kami.

Is It Me?

Or can husbands be real assholes sometimes? Mine is being a big baby and I'd like to give him a good slap and say "SNAP OUT OF IT". Okay, Diva and Hillbilly Mom, what movie is that from? I know, I know, it's an easy one.

We went to the Casino for supper last night and while we were there we came across his biking buddies. Of course, we are going to have to find a different hang out because I'm tired of running in to them every time we go out. They invited us to The Pelican after we ate. Mike kept yawning and saying "Man, I'm tired, I can't wait to get home and go straight to bed". But, once we got outside and on the bike, we turned right instead of left. We were heading for the Pelican. I had just asked him where we were going and he said he didn't know. He most certainly did too know. We got to Grove, pulled up to The Pelican and I opened my big mouth and ruined a perfectly half way decent night. I said "I can't believe we are going to the freakin Pelican. This place is such a dive!" He asked me if I wanted to go or not and I told him he knew how I felt about bars, especially trashy dive bars. So, he turns around and we drove home. Didn't stop anywhere else. We got home, he didn't say a word, dropped me off at the back door while he put the bike away. When he got in the house, he went straight to bedroom, stripped his clothes off and threw them across the room, flopped down on the bed and literally punched his pillow into submission. I looked at him and said "If you wanted to go, why didn't we just stay? I didn't care!" and he yelled at me. Yelled! "You made it pretty clear you didn't want to be there. Next time you can just drive your own ass there so you don't have to go anywhere you don't want to". Asshole. If he'd really wanted to go, nothing I said could have stopped him, he'd made me suffer through an evening of bad karyoke so he could be there. But, he really wanted to go home and go to bed, it was 11:00 when we left the Casino in the first place. He just needed a scape goat and I was the best candidate. I didn't go to bed right away, I stayed up in the living room, washing his clothes. Since he hooked up our new a/c, I have to turn it off to run the dryer, as I may have mentioned. So, I stay up late waiting for the clothes to dry so I can turn the a/c back on. It was 1:00 last night, or should I say this morning, before I finally went to bed. Then I got up at 7:00 and started in on laundry that could be dried out on the line. I left the house at 9:00 and asshole was still in bed asleep. I didn't wake sleeping beauty to tell him good bye. I was still hurt. He did call me while I was sitting in the eye doctor's office. He didn't act sorry and I didn't either. Because I'm not.
Asshole.

Another Busy Weekend

Tomorrow I have to take Shael to get new glasses and then be back in Grove for a wedding at 3:00. Next Saturday there's another wedding at the church. Then after that it's Green Corn, then the same week as Green Corn, Shael goes back to school. Where did the summer go? Summer school, that's where.

There's been some tension at work. Not between the employees, but with the whole Tribe. Things are cu-razy. I don't know what's going on, nobody's talking. Rumors are flying, people are being fired right and left. Every night we hope we'll know something by the next day. Time will tell.

Shael is going to a slumber party tonight at my brother's. It's for his step daughter's birthday. I'll have to pick her up in the morning on my way to Joplin to get her new glasses. She's in DESPERATE need of new glasses. So, I'm off. We're going to meet at a half way point since we live so far apart from each other. When I get home....Casino run. Mike has a $25 black jack chip burning a hole in his pocket. Actually, it's a coupon for a $25 black jack chip and it's sitting on the bar, but, you know what I mean.

Ta!

Oops

Shael is sitting here watching Pleasantville, one of my favorites. I'd forgotten about the "love" scenes. Not too graphic, but yet, somehow too graphic. Shael, who knows all about the birds and the bees, goes "Gross" when it came to the part where the kids are at Lover's Lane. Then came the part where Betty masturbates in the bathtub. Oops! I'd forgotten about that. Shael kept asking "What's she doing? Why is she saying 'Oh, my'? Why is everything turning colors? Why did that tree burst into flames?" I gave her the only answer I could muster up...I don't know....Hey, let me see that Floam.
Good grief, what else could I do but change the subject?
We gave her the "talk" and we have been very up front about sex, but I draw the line about discussing masturbation to my 12 year old daughter.

What To Do

Mike is gone for the evening. Gone back to the car auction to try to get the title for his latest purchase. A real beaut. A land yacht. It reminds me of cruising main because, that's right, it's a 1987 Crown Victoria. Who doesn't want a white Crown Vic sitting in their back yard? Mike got it for the motor and transmission to put in my 1966 Mustang. (Heck, yeah! Can't wait!!) But, now that my Luminous Lumina crapped out on me, I might be stuck driving the Crown Vic. OMG. N, I might have to go back to "getting a good angle". Sheese, I just cannot get away from these huge cars! Mike says the thing drives smooth as glass. Go figure.

What I'd rather happen would be Mike putting that motor in my Mustang and I wouldn't have to worry about what to do about a vehicle. You think that'll happen. Uh, no.

Here's our beautiful boat.

Meka Leka Hi Meka Hiney Ho

Monday night when we got to the condo, we dropped our bags and did nothing but chill for the rest of the evening. Shael wanted to watch "SuperNanny", a show that I'd prefer not to ever watch again. After a few minutes of that, Shael says to the TV "Just spank 'em already and get it over with!". When SuperNanny was over I turned it over to [adult swing] on Cartoon Network. Yeah, I know it's not a good idea to let your child watch these shows, but Shael was enthralled with Pee Wee Herman. Now me, I'm no fan of Pee Wee, never have been, probably never will. This was my 12 year old daughter's first introduction to The Playhouse. When it was over, Shael looked over at me and said "That was cool, I like that show!" How can this be? How can she have come out of my body? She doesn't like chocolate and she does like Pee Wee Herman. That's just not right.
After Pee Wee, I watched one of my guilty pleasures, Family Guy. I think that show is a riot. They aren't prejudice, they go after everybody equally.
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So, the next morning, when we got in the car, it wouldn't go. I've already gone over all that. We finally got to SDC and spent the best day together. We got to do just about everything we wanted to do. The crowds were bearable, it wasn't too hot, and it didn't storm on us. I thought it was going to, but we only got sprinkled on a few times. It was a perfect day, if you minus the car trouble. We got to make our own tie dye T-shirts, Shael got to stuff her own stuffed animal (a green frog) and we even got to browse through several shops.
**********************

Thank goodness Mike had picked up a loaner phone for me Monday evening before we left. I don't know what I would have done without that phone. Mike and I kept calling back and forth there for a while. He was even mild tempered about the whole deal, too. It was because my Dad was with him, if Mike had been alone, he probably would have been a grouch and bitched and moaned about having to drive all the way to Branson to pick us up. They took their sweet time to come rescue us. They stopped and ate and all that jazz. A mere five hours after calling Mike to have him come get us and the car, he and Daddy pulled off with me and Shael in the back seat and the car on the trailer behind us. When I think about the fact that we sat there for FIVE HOURS, it amazes me that it went so fast. We played rock, paper, scissors for at least an hour.

***********************

We got our new phones today. It's good to have a working phone that's mine again. Okay, I just spent the last 15 minutes sitting here playing with my phone. Setting some voice commands and some speed dials. Now I have to charge up my old phone so I can get all my numbers out of it. But hey, you know what? My phone charger for my old phone is in my car. Which is up at the garage. Locked in. So is my purse. But, I at least have my change purse that has my drivers license and money. I'm hoping Mikey will be willing to stop up there and grab them for me.

***********************

Speaking of Mikey, he went to bed as soon as he got home tonight because he has to be at work in Miami by 2:00 a.m. The great thing about doing work for Wal-Mart is having to do it when the department you are working in is closed. The deli is what he's working on so the middle of the night it is. He's going to work his eight hours and come home. How weird for him to be getting off work at 10:00 in the morning.

********************

Dang, I'm getting pretty tired. Think I'll go to bed. First I'll get Mike's clothes and stuff all laid out before I crawl in bed so he doesn't wake me up looking for a pair of jeans at 1:00. That's only in three hours. Good night!

I'm Back

Did you know I was gone? Shael and I took a mini vacation to Branson for her birthday. Really, all we did was go up after I got off work Monday night and spent the night in a condo Mom got for us, got up yesterday morning and went to Steal Your Dollar City. She wanted to go to SDC for her birthday and since we had our new handy dandy season passes, I was happy to oblige.

But guess what, it wasn't as simple as getting there and coming back the next day. My car broke down. Yay! My favorite thing to happen while I'm a couple hours away from home, alone with Shael. It was able to limp in to the SDC parking lot and Shael and I still got to go to the park all day, but when it was time to go, the car wouldn't go. I tried a couple things, got it to go, and we got about three miles down the road and it quit permanently. I'd turned on Hwy 265, thinking it was Hwy 465, but thank goodness I did, because we ended up coasting in to SDC's The Wilderness, which is the "City's" log cabin and RV park. It had a grocery store, clean bathrooms, a rec room, all kinds of things to keep us occupied while my Dad and Mike drove all the way to Branson to rescue us. It was the transmission. It went completely out. Glory days, it's going to cost over $400 to replace. So, I'll be driving the Suburban for a while. Shael and I sat there for about an hour and a half when Mike called asking if we were okay and when I told him yes he said good because they were just then in Joplin. What!? It took them 90 minutes to get to Joplin. But, we were fine. Shael was a good girl. Didn't complain at all.

Man, I've got to go, I'm going to be late for work if I don't. I'll spell check later and tell "The Rest Of The Story" when I get home tonight.

Pic Of Mike's Tat, As Promised

Another Late Night

One of these days I'll be in bed asleep by 10:00. Not this day. Once again, I was on the go all day today. I left the house before 9:00 for church, after church Mom and I went to lunch with a missionary lady that's getting ready to go back to Honduras, where she lives with her missionary husband. After we finished eating, we strolled around Wal-Mart getting shoes and wedding gifts. When we left Wal-Mart I got a whim to go to Joplin. I've been trying to make it up there for a week and I didn't want to wait another week. We left the Grove Wal-Mart parking lot at a little before 3:00 and I had to be back in Grove at the church by 6:00 for a nursery meeting. And we made it, too, with only a couple minutes late.

In Joplin, we went by the eyeglass place to check on their hours so we can go back while they're open and get Shael some new glasses. She has grown so much in the year since she's gotten her current pair that they no longer fit her face. They look like baby glasses on an adult head. Her prescription has changed in that year, also, so she needs new glasses for practical reasons, not just vanity reasons.

From there we drove to my favorite store in the whole wide world. Michael's. That place and Hobby Lobby are the best. I have been really getting in to making home made greeting cards. And Diva, if you laugh, I swear to God I'll reach right through this computer and bitch slap you! j/k, sorta. I don't really get in to the whole scrapbooking thing, I mean, it's okay, but I don't go ga-ga like Tater. Low key and simple is my motto when it comes to scrapbooking. Too much embellishing just distracts from the picture. But card making is right up my alley. I love paper. I love to look at it, feel it's texture, and buy it. Sometimes I think I could have a scrapbook of paper only, and enjoy looking at it more than anything. And I love sending letters and cards to those I care about. Encouraging words, funny pick me ups, happy birthdays, anniversaries, things like that. When I was a kid, I always hand made the birthday cards and Mother's and Father's Day cards. I still like that. Fuse that with my love for paper, and I have a hobby that suits me. Most of you that know me, have gotten a letter or card from me at least once in your life, right? I'll never forget the line I wrote in a letter to a very pregnant, very house bound, and very bored Diva....Can we birth it? YES WE CAN!

So, it took nearly an hour to drive from Grove to Joplin, then nearly and hour to drive back (can't forget the stop by DQ for ice cream on the way back) and that left me with an hour to browse at Michael's. I didn't even make it to Hobby Lobby. That would take an additional two hours. Two hours I didn't have today, but next time.....

Meetings, Cell Phones, Picnics and tattoos

It's midnight and I have been on the go literally all day today. I started out with going to a Tribal meeting in Miami this morning at 10:00. I got there a few minutes early and stayed to the bitter end. Yay me. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. In fact, there were less crazy people there than the last meeting. That's one good thing.
After the meeting was over, I called Mike to see if he was done working yet. Yes, he had to work on Saturday for five hours. He was not thrilled about that, let me tell you. He gets so ticked off at these people who fart around for weeks, then all of a sudden, they decide they have to have something done by 3:00 the next day. So, for weeks at a time, he'll be doing piddley things to keep busy, then BAM! He has two days to get a week's worth of work done.
But, anyway, he wasn't quite done yet, so I went to the jeweler to drop off my ring to have some work done to it and to give it an overall cleaning because it was so dirty. Well, guess what? My jeweler that I've used since I got these rings 13 years ago (15 if you want to include our engagement) has gone out of business. I was so bummed, and now I don't know who to entrust with my rings. Certainly not Harvey Clause. I'd just as soon send my rings off to the real Santa Clause than have "Ooo, Harvey!" work on them. He's as crooked as a dog's hind leg. So, if any of you locals know of a good jeweler, let me know, okay?

After finding my jeweler's store empty with his shingle still above the door, I decided to go to one of my favorite places in Miami. The bookstore. Yeah...I love going there all by my lonesome. It's the best! I parked in the back because it's way easier than parking on Main Street and as I was getting out of my car, I saw a Christian Bookstore a few doors down from my destination. It perked my interest enough that I went in there first. They were right in the middle of remodeling so it kind of looked empty. I was looking through some CD's when my phone rang and it was Mike saying he was finished so if I wanted to go to lunch, to meet him in about 15 minutes at the 'Lil Cafe. Since I was only about 3 or 4 minutes away from the 'Lil Cafe, I stayed where I was for a while longer. I ended up buying a really nice worship CD and visited with the dude in there for a while. Turns out he and I could easily become good friends. I mean, the man had on a M*A*S*H T-shirt. I've got to get me one of those!

After that, I didn't have time to go the J. Harrington, so I went on to meet Mike for lunch. We ate and then drove home separately. When we got home, Mike changed and we were off again to the tattoo parlor. We'd gone the night before but he was too busy. Actually, we'd gone Wednesday night but he'd left the sketch in his other sketchbook at home so he said come back Friday. We came back Friday night and he was so busy he said to come back around 1:00 Saturday afternoon. It was 2:00 by the time we got there this afternoon and the guy wasn't even there. The place was locked up tight. We sat in the car and waited on him for thirty minutes but he never showed up. So we took off for Grove.

Once in Grove we went to the Altell store and we both got new phones. Mike's phone wasn't in stock, so he has to wait until Wednesday to get his. Mine, they had one in stock, but it was a returned one. Assured there was nothing wrong with it, I went ahead and said "sure" and got the returned one. I should have waited on a new one. It won't ring for incoming calls. It's not on silent and I can call out but when I call it, it doesn't even ring on the phone you called it with, it goes straight to voice mail. Well, crap. Mike is going to take it back Wednesday when he goes to pick his up. Another thing that's wrong is that it says it's on roaming when it shouldn't be. He told me that even if the "R" is flashing, it won't be on roaming. I tried to make a call tonight and when I hit send it gave me a little message box that read "Roaming charges will be added to this call. To dial this number, press 1" Okay, not going to happen. I'm not going to pay $.49 a minute when I'm only in Vinita!

After leaving the cell phone place, we went back to Jawbones Tattoo and Jared still wasn't there. So, we went home. I had to cook some corn on the cob to take to my sister's picnic anyway. Right when I walked in the door, I started that corn. It was already shucked so at least I didn't have to mess with that part. One of our neighbors gave it to us Monday night right before my parents came over. I tried to give some of it to them that night but they wouldn't take any. When she wouldn't take any, I said "Well, if you guys aren't going to take any, I'll just cook it up and take it over to Roni's Saturday night when we go over there". So, I got the corn cooked, took it over to Roni's and Mom and Daddy are already there and lo and behold my dear old Mother brought corn on the cob. I was so upset that I picked up my pan of corn on the cob and took it right back to the car and cried once I got there. Mike was just pulling up on his bike when I was walking to my car and he sees me crying He kind of gives me this pitiful look and sighs this big gusty sigh and asks "What's wrong?" I was so mad that it took me probably a full minute to get myself under enough control to speak without bursting into wales. "Okay, tell me the truth, and I mean it. Did I, or did I not tell Mom that if she didn't take any of that corn Monday night that I would cook it and bring it to Roni's on Saturday?" Instead of answering, he says "Why, what happened?" I told him Mom brought corn on the cob and he shook his head and said "Yes, you did say that". I felt so vindicated, I wasn't losing my mind and I didn't just dream it up. It wouldn't have been so bad, but it was all I brought, except for a bag of chips. And it was also all my Mom and Dad brought. I was so hacked off. If neither one had said a word about what we'd bring, I would have laughed it off and said "Wow, we should have enough corn on the cob" but I specifically TOLD the woman what I was bringing and she had the gall to tell me that I'd dreamed it all up because I didn't tell her. BITCH! Then my Dad tells me that we are just alike, my Mom and me. I think that might have been the straw that broke the camel's back and sent me off in tears.

We ended up eating my corn after all. Hers was still raw and in the husk. Roni put Mom's on the grill and we ate mine, then she put Mom's in my pan and I took Mom's home with me. So, I'm still stuck with a butt load of corn on the cob. At least it's cooked.

When we left Roni's picnic, we went back to Jawbones and Jared was finally there. It was about time! Shael and I stayed and watched for a while but by 11:00 we had to go. Shael yammered away until midnight when I threatened her to get her butt in bed before I started beating on it. Mike just got home a little while ago, around 1:00. I took some pictures of his new body art and he's off to bed already and I'm still in here clacking away on the computer. I'll post the pictures later. They are still on my camera and the last time I posted pictures it took like 10 minutes per picture. It's after 1:00 in the morning, there's no way I'm going to wait another minute. I'm going to bed!

Goodnight!

Can You Believe It?

Happy Birthday to my daughter, Shael, who's turning 12 today!

Ha!

I knew my anonymous friend, N, would be mad by that political stand post I made. But that's okay. We can still be friends.

Back To Work Today...Yuck

I hope everybody had a safe, and enjoyable 4th of July. Mine was okay, I guess. We didn't get to do what I wanted, but I'll have to wait until later to tell that story.
At least Mike took me to Seneca's fireworks show last night. I could tell he didn't really want to, but since the rest of the day had gone to crap where it came to my plans, he obliged me. He does that every year, acts like he really doesn't want to leave where we are, then once we get to Seneca (or the liquor store on the state line, that is) he enjoys the show and talks about how cool it was all the way home. More on that later, too.
I can't believe I have to go back to work! Ahh! I was having such a good time not going, too. Oh, well. Such is life, right?

This Should Stir Things Up A Bit

JOHN GLENN SAID
Things that make you think a little:
There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq in January.
In the fair city of Detroit there were 35 murders in the
month of January. That's just one American city,
about as deadly as the entire war-torn country of Iraq .
When some claim that President Bush shouldn't
have started this war, state the following:
a. FDR led us into World War II.
b. Germany never attacked us; Japan did.
From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost ...
an average of 112,500 per year.
c. Truman finished that war and started one in Korea .
North Korea never attacked us.
From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost ...
an average of 18,334 per year.
d John F. Kennedy started the Vietnam conflict in 1962.
Vietnam never attacked us.
e. Johnson turned Vietnam into a quagmire.
From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost ..
an average of 5,800 per year.
f. Clinton went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent.
Bosnia never attacked us.
He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter three
times by Sudan and did nothing. Osama has attacked us on
multiple occasions.
g. In the years since terrorists attacked us , President Bush
has liberated two countries, crushed the Taliban, crippled
al-Qaida, put nuclear inspectors in Libya , Iran , and, North
Korea without firing a shot, and captured a terrorist who
slaughtered 300,000 of his own people.
The Democrats are complaining
about how long the war is taking.
But
It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno
to take the Branch Davidian compound.
That was a 51-day operation.
We've been looking for evidence for chemical weapons
in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find
the Rose Law Firm billing records.
It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the
Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard
than it took Ted Kennedy to call the police after his
Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick.
It took less time to take Iraq than it took
to count the votes in Florida !!!!
Our Commander-In-Chief is doing a GREAT JOB!
The Military morale is high!
The biased media hopes we are too ignorant
to realize the facts
But Wait .
There's more!
JOHN GLENN (ON THE SENATE FLOOR)
Mon, 26 Jan 2004 11:13
Some people still don't understand why military personnel
do what they do for a living. This exchange between
Senators John Glenn and Senator Howard Metzenbaum
is worth reading. Not only is it a pretty impressive
impromptu speech, but it's also a good example of one
man's explanation of why men and women in the armed
services do what they do for a living.
This IS a typical, though sad, example of what
some who have never served think of the military.
Senator Metzenbaum (speaking to Senator Glenn):
"How can you run for Senate
when you've never held a real job?"
Senator Glenn (D-Ohio):
"I served 23 years in the United States Marine Corps.
I served through two wars. I flew 149 missions.
My plane was hit by anti-aircraft fire on 12 different
occasions. I was in the space program. It wasn't my
checkbook, Howard; it was my life on the line. It was
not a nine-to-five job, where I took time off to take the
daily cash receipts to the bank."
"I ask you to go with me ... as I went the other day...
to a veteran's hospital and look those men ...
with their mangled bodies in the eye, and tell THEM
they didn't hold a job!
You go with me to the Space Program at NASA
and go, as I have gone, to the widows and Orphans
of Ed White, Gus Grissom and Roger Chaffee...
and you look those kids in the eye and tell them
that their DADS didn't hold a job.
You go with me on Memorial Day and you stand in
Arlington National Cemetery, where I have more friends
buried than I'd like to remember, and you watch
those waving flags.
You stand there, and you think about this nation,
and you tell ME that those people didn't have a job?
What about you?"
For those who don't remember ..
During W.W.II, Howard Metzenbaum was an attorney
representing the Communist Party in the USA .
Now he's a Senator!
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.

Love Really IS a Battlefield

Yesterday, we finally left the house for "lunch" at 6:00. It was no longer lunch, but at least it was food. I was so hungry. Mike had it in his mind that he wanted some Okie fries from Anna Bananas over on the Island. We got on the bike and drove all the way over to the Island for supper. Mike got ribs and I got a turkey and Swiss sandwich with green beans. The green beans were delicious, fried in bacon grease and onions (the only thing I like bacon grease touching is green beans). The sandwich was okay. Just a sandwich. It had turkey and Swiss, of course, but it also had bacon, tomato and avocado. I ate half the cheese, the three inch piece of bacon, the two slices of tomato, the tiny sliver of avocado and most of the turkey. Oh, and every crumb of the green beans. I left the bread and the rest of the cheese and turkey. I was full anyway.
Over our meal, Mike kept talking about his weekend and how much fun he had and I was getting more and more, I don't even know the word to describe it. Agitated? Irritated? Aggravated? Pissed? I don't know. All I know was I was getting more unhappy by the second. Finally I let it blurt out. I knew it wasn't going to go away by ignoring it and going on with life, which is my normal way of dealing with unpleasant things. It was one of those things that would fester if left alone.
"I wanted to go and you didn't even ask me!"
He knew I was mad, and I even think he knew why I was mad. But when I blurted that out, he looked taken back. He asked me why I didn't say so and I told him it was because I thought he didn't want me to go. I wasn't about to invite myself along when I wasn't wanted. But after arguing back and forth in a low voice, my voice got to a raised whisper right there in Anna Bananas and he finally admitted he was wrong not to invite me and told me he was sorry. Okay, as long as we see eye to eye, now. He didn't even say it all condescending like he usually does..."sorr-eey". He said it sincerely. He either meant it, or he's getting better at lying. And he's never been very good at lying, so I choose to believe he meant it.
Off we went for a little ride. It was still hot outside, even that late in the day. He asked me where I wanted to go and I said "for a ride" and he thought I said "take a right" so he turned right and we ended up at Shangri-La. Well, unless you are rich or play golf, or both, there's not a whole lot to do down that direction except turn around and come back because it's a dead end road. (Or, unless you work there, which we don't)
As we were driving around, I got to thinking about how mad I can be at Mike then he does or says one nice thing to me and all the rest is forgotten. I kind of felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Except for that whole hooker thing. Yes, I totally stole that line from She's All That, but the principle remains.

• Vivian: You're late!
• Edward: You're stunning!
• Vivian: You're forgiven!

Yes, that's me. A total sucker for my man.

***************************************************

One of the Aunts called me Saturday morning and asked me to pick blackberries for her. The blackberry dance is on the 10th and she can't get around anymore to pick the berries. Enter Stacie: Niece Who Can't Say No. Just kidding, I didn't mind at all. Since my water faucet outside broke, I wasn't able to water them this year. You can tell, too. They didn't do so well and I picked all I could today and I didn't even get a whole gallon. It'll be enough for what she needs them for, but I had big plans for those big berries this year. Oh, well, maybe next year.

I was not happy with Mike about that water thing, he told me he'd fix it when it first broke. Back when we were still getting rain and I wasn't too worried about it. I kept telling him he needed to fix it before the rained stopped so I could continue to water the berries and the grapes when the rain did stop. Well, the rain stopped and the water hook up never got fixed. The grapes died a couple weeks ago. A crying shame, too because there were tons of grapes this year. Loads. Oodles. They all dried up, shriveled right on the vine. No water. The blackberries, being a little more hardy, were pickable, just not very many of them were. I got about 3/4 of a gallon this morning and in a couple days I should be able to pick another 3/4 gallon or so. Then that'll be it for the berries. Nothing compared to last years crop. Last year the berries were huge, this year they are noticeably smaller. Like regular wild blackberry size.

Mike told me we have running water inside, I should have carried the water to them. Yeah. I can hardly carry two gallons of milk at the same time without doing some kind of twist and hurting my back again. How could I water them like that? It took me 30 minutes or more to water them with the hose. Like I said, oh, well, maybe next year. If Mike doesn't fix it, I'll ask somebody else to do it.

****************************

I'm off. I need to go take a shower to wash all this Repel off my neck and face. It keeps the mosquitoes off, that's for sure. But it really does stink.

I almost forgot to mention how at one point, I thought I was going to have to yell at Mike to come help me. I was hoping he would be able to hear me over the a/c. But, I finally got free of that briar. It had me by the back and by the hair and I couldn't get free. I had my garden hoe with me but it seemed every time I would push the briar limb away it would only snag me deeper. Like a fish hook that's stuck in your finger and instead of pulling it back out the way it went in, pushing it through the other side. After about a minute that seemed like five, I finally got free of it. I was crouched down on the ground, even, when I finally got free. I stood up and smashed that briar limb down flat with my garden hoe, then to make sure it was down flat, I stepped on it and walked up and down it to be on the safe side. I didn't want that thing popping back up in my face or something. I'm sure I looked like quite the character out there on the edge of the yard. Stuck in sticker bushes. Stupid blackberries.

Sunday Blues

Sundays are so hard for me anymore. I've finally made it an entire day without crying, but have yet to make it an entire week. I cry only every other day now. Especially Sundays.

When I got home from church this afternoon my darling hubby was home. He'd called me this morning and asked me to lunch when I got out of church. When I got home, he'd just gotten out of the shower and was wearing his old gray house bound shorts. I knew what that meant. No lunch. He fell asleep and it's now almost 3:00. I finally ate a tomato I was so hungry waiting on him. It'll be time to pick Shael up here pretty soon.

He brought me home a new tie died T-shirt (green, of course, my hubby knows me) and a jar of seasoning that I had my eye on last weekend but didn't buy because we really didn't have the room for it and was afraid it would get broken in the saddle bags. He still has to go to my family's on Tuesday.

Flags

If necessity is the mother of invention, then boredom must be the mother of weird art. You know the kind. You see it on the side of the road, in people's yards, in your neighbor's house, in magazines and on TV. Sometimes you even find it in a real art museum. There use to be this "piece of art" in a yard not far from here where someone had taken some old patio furniture and made some kind of creature out of it. A couple chairs and a table all bent out of shape then welded to each other. It looked like, well, patio furniture that had been straightened out then bent into another shape then welded to other pieces of patio furniture. Nice.

What made me think of it was this nice little number here. I was putting away clean laundry this morning when Shael asked me to come look at what she'd done. With poker chips. Oh, mercy. At least they weren't the kind that were actually worth cash. Hey, at least the kid is patriotic, right?

She didn't stop at just one, either.

Yes, Another Song

Okay, first of all, I can not stand the sound of the singer/singers in Avalon. My sister calls it "pussy" music. Well, I wouldn't go as far as calling it that, but, it's a little irritating. They kind of sound like the dreaded Rascal Flatts. EIW!! (I would call Rascal Flatts pussy music...heh heh) But the words to Avalon's songs move me. I'm not saying I'm going to rush out and buy their latest CD, but they really do have some good songs. If you can get past the voice.

Part of me is the prodigal
Part of me is the other brother
But I think the heart of me
Is really somewhere between them
Some days I'm running wild
Some days we're reconciled
But I wonder all the while
Why you put up with me, when..
I wrestle most days
To find ways to do as I please

CHORUS
I always have, I always will
You saved me once,
You save me still
My longing heart,
Your love alone can fill
You always have, always will

I was born with a wayward heart
Still I live with a restless spirit
My soul is so well worn
You'd think I'd have arrived by now
I'm caught in the trappings of
My search for lasting love
I've made mistakes enough
To last me a lifetime
I still slip, I still fall
But I'll always run back to you

CHORUS

I'm gonna keep trusting You
I see what You've seen me through
I'm goin' where You have gone (yeah)
I'm letting You lead me on
All my days (always and forever)
Never far (never leave me never)
Here I'll stay (ever love me ever)
Here's my heart
I'll always love You, love You (yeah)

CHORUS 2X

Oh, You always have, You always will